Nastenka / Message Board Pomoc / Help Virtual/TVShows The Simpsons 1989-12-17 0101 #7G08 The Simpsons Christmas Special Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (no opening) Written By Mimi Pond Directed By David Silverman Christmas episode: The Simpsons spend all their money on Bart's tattoo removal; Homer works as a Santa Claus and gets Santa's Little Helper. _________________________________________________________________ 1990-01-14 0102 #7G02 Bart the Genius (standard opening) I WILL NOT WASTE CHALK. Written By Jon Vitti Directed By David Silverman Bart cheats on an IQ test and is considered a genius. Homer chases Bart: I'll show you a big, dumb, balding ape! Homer chases Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 1990-01-21 0103 #7G03 Homer's Odyssey I WILL NOT SKATEBOARD IN THE HALLS. Written By Jay Kogen & Wallace Wolodarsky Directed By Wesley Archer Homer gets fired and becomes a safety inspector. Bart phones Moe asking for I.P. Freely _________________________________________________________________ 1990-01-28 0104 #7G04 There's No Disgrace Like Home I WILL NOT BURP IN CLASS. Written By Al Jean & Mike Reiss Directed By Gregg Vanzo Kent Butterworth The Simpsons seek help of a psychiatrist. Itchy & Scratchy _________________________________________________________________ 1990-02-04 0105 #7G05 Bart the General (short opening) Written By John Swartzwelder Directed By David Silverman Bart has a conflict with Nelson. _________________________________________________________________ 1990-02-11 0106 #7G06 Moaning Lisa I WILL NOT INSTIGATE REVOLUTION. Written By Al Jean & Mike Reiss Directed By Wesley Archer Lisa befriends a saxophone player Bleeding Gums Murphy. Bart phones Moe asking for Jacques Strap _________________________________________________________________ 1990-02-18 0107 #7G09 The Call of the Simpsons I WILL NOT DRAW NAKED LADIES IN CLASS. Written By John Swartzwelder Directed By Wesley Archer The Simpsons get lost in wilderness. _________________________________________________________________ 1990-02-25 0108 #7G07 "The Telltale Head" I DID NOT SEE ELVIS. Written By Al Jean Mike Reiss Sam Simon Matt Groening Directed By Rich Moore Bart cuts off the head of Jebediah Springfield's statue. Homer approaches Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 1990-03-18 0109 #7G11 Life on the Fast Lane (short opening) Written By John Swartzwelder Directed By David Silverman A bowling man has a crush on Marge. _________________________________________________________________ 1990-03-25 0110 #7G10 Homer's Night Out I WILL NOT CALL MY TEACHER "HOT CAKES". Written By Jon Vitti Directed By Rich Moore Marge discovers Bart's photo of Homer and Princess Kashmir. Homer charges at Bart: Why, you little... Marge chokes Homer: Why, you big... _________________________________________________________________ 1990-04-15 0111 #7G13 The Crepes of Wrath GARLIC GUM IS NOT FUNNY. Written By George Meyer Sam Simon John Swartzwelder Jon Vitti Directed By Wesley Archer Milton Gray Bart is sent to France. _________________________________________________________________ 1990-04-29 0112 #7G12 Krusty Gets Busted THEY ARE LAUGHING AT ME, NOT WITH ME. Written By Jay Kogen & Wallace Wolodarsky Directed by Brad Bird Krusty is framed for robbery by Sideshow Bob. Itchy & Scratchy in "Burning Love" _________________________________________________________________ 1990-05-13 0113 #7G01 Some Enchanted Evening I WILL NOT YELL "FIRE" IN A CROWDED CLASSROOM. Written By Matt Groening & Sam Simon Directed By David Silverman Kent Butterworth Homer and Marge hire a criminal babysitter for the kids. Bart phones Moe asking for Al Coholic. Bart phones Moe asking for Oliver Klozoff. _________________________________________________________________ 1990-10-11 0201 #7F03 Bart Gets an "F" (new standard opening) I WILL NOT ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO FLY. Written By David M. Stern Directed By David Silverman Bart tries to learn for an exam. Bart: Must... Take... Test... I WILL NOT FAKE MY WAY THROUGH LIFE [Bart writes] Itchy & Scratchy "Let Them Eat Scratchy _________________________________________________________________ 1990-10-18 0202 #7F02 Simpson and Delilah TAR IS NOT A PLAYTHING. Written By Jon Vitti Directed By Rich Moore Homer uses a fixture to re-grow his hair. Homer chokes Bart. _________________________________________________________________ 1990-10-25 0203 #7F04 The Simpsons Halloween Special (special opening) Written By Jay Kogen & Wallace Wolodarsky and John Swartzwelder and Edgar Allan Poe & Sam Simon Directed By Wes Archer Rich Moore David Silverman Three-tale Halloween episode: Bad Dream House (The Simpsons move into a haunted house); Hungry are the Damned (The Simpsons encounter Kang and Kodos); The Raven (Homer's night visit). _________________________________________________________________ 1990-11-01 0204 #7F01 Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish I WILL NOT XEROX MY BUTT. Written By Sam Simon John Swartzwelder Directed By Wes Archer Bart catches a three-eyed fish; Burns runs for the governor. _________________________________________________________________ 1990-11-08 0205 #7F05 Dancin' Homer I WILL NOT TRADE PANTS WITH OTHERS. Written By Ken Levine & David Isaacs Directed By Mark Kirkland Homer tells the story of how he became the mascot for Isotopes. _________________________________________________________________ 1990-11-15 0206 #7F08 Dead Putting Society I AM NOT A 32 YEAL OLD WOMAN. Written By Jeff Martin Directed By Rich Moore Bart and Todd compete in mini-golf. _________________________________________________________________ 1990-11-22 0207 #7F07 Bart vs. Thanksgiving I WILL NOT DO THAT THING WITH MY TONGUE. Written By George Meyer Directed By David Silverman Bart destroys Lisa's Thanksgiving decoration. _________________________________________________________________ 1990-12-06 0208 #7F06 Bart the Daredevil I WILL NOT DRIVE THE PRINCIPAL'S CAR. Written By Jay Kogen & Wallace Wolodarsky Directed By Wesley Meyer Archer Bart wants to skateboard over Springfield Gorge. _________________________________________________________________ 1990-12-20 0209 #7F09 Itchy & Scratchy & Marge I WILL NOT PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO BART. Written By John Swartzwelder Directed By Jim Reardon Maggie hits Homer in the head; Marge boycotts Itchy & Scratchy. Itchy & Scratchy in "Hold That Feline" Itchy & Scratchy in "Kitchen Kut-ups" Itchy & Scratchy in "Messenger of Death" Itchy & Scratchy in "Porch Pals" _________________________________________________________________ 1991-01-10 0210 #7F10 Episode 23: "Bart Gets Hit By A Car" I WILL NOT SELL SCHOOL PROPERTY. Written By John Swartzwelder Directed By Mark Kirkland Burns hits Bart with his car. Beneath: Hell under Springfield Hospital _________________________________________________________________ 1991-01-24 0211 #7F11 One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish I WILL NOT CUT CORNERS. " " " " " Written By Nell Scovell Directed By Wesley M. Archer After eating a fugu, Homer is told he has only 24 hours to live. Homer charges at Bart: You little... Bart phones Moe asking for Seymour Butts. _________________________________________________________________ 1991-01-31 0212 #7F12 The Way We Was I WILL NOT GET VERY FAR WITH THIS ATTITUDE. Written By al Jean & Mike Reiss and Sam Simon Directed By David Silverman Homer and Marge tell the story of how they met. _________________________________________________________________ 1991-02-07 0213 #7F13 Homer vs. Lisa And the 8th Commandment I WILL NOT MAKE FLATULENT NOISES IN CLASS. Written By Steve Pepoon Directd By Rich Moore Lisa is afraind that Homer is going to go to Hell for having an unpaid cable TV connection. _________________________________________________________________ 1991-02-14 0214 #7F15 Principal Charming I WILL NOT BELCH THE NATIONAL ANTHEM. Written By David Stern Directed By Mark Kirkland Homer introduces Skinner to Patty (thinking she is Selma). Bart phones Moe asking for Homer Sexual. _________________________________________________________________ 1991-02-21 0215 #7F16 Oh, Brother, Where Are Thou? I WILL NOT SELL LAND IN FLORIDA. Written By Jeff Martin Directed By W.M. "Bud" Archer Homer learns he has a long-lost brother Herb. Itchy & Scratchy Sundae Bloody Sundae _________________________________________________________________ 1991-03-07 0216 #7F14 Bart's Dog Gets an "F" I WILL NOT SELL SCHOOL PROPERTY. Written By Jon Vitti Directed By Jim Reardon Santa's Little Helper destroys various properties in the house. _________________________________________________________________ 1991-03-28 0217 #7F17 Old Money I WILL NOT GREASE THE MONKEY BARS. Written by Jay Kogen & Wallace Wolodarsky Directed By David Silverman Grampa inherits a lot of money. _________________________________________________________________ 1991-04-11 0218 #7F18 Brush with Greatness I WILL NOT HIDE BEHIND THE FIFTH AMENDMENT. Written By Brian K. Roberts Directed By Jim Reardon Burns hires Marge to paint his portrait. _________________________________________________________________ 1991-04-25 0219 #7F19 Lisa's Substitute (short opening) Written By Jon Vitti Directed By Rich Moore Lisa is in love with her teacher's substitute. Beneath: concrete and iron beams under Bart's class _________________________________________________________________ 1991-05-02 0220 #7F20 The War of the Simpsons I WILL NOT DO ANYTHING BAD EVER AGAIN. Written By John Swartzwelder Directed By Mark Kirkland Homer plans to catch a catfish while working with Marge on their marriage. _________________________________________________________________ 1991-05-09 0221 #7F21 Three Men and a Comic Book I will not show off. Written By Jeff Martin Directed By Wes M. Archer Bart, Milhouse and Martin buy the 1st issue of Radioactive Man. _________________________________________________________________ 1991-07-11 0222 #7F22 Blood Feud I WILL NOT SLEEP THROUGH MY EDUCATION. Written By George Meyer Directed By David Silverman Bart donates blood to save Burns' life. Homer chokes Bart: I'll show you mad in the morning! Bart phones Moe asking for Mike Rotch. _________________________________________________________________ 1991-09-19 0301 #7F24 Stark Raving Dad I AM NOT A DENTIST Written By Al Jean & Mike Reiss Directed By Rich Moore Homer meets a man in a mental asylum who claims to be Michael Jackson. Homer chokes Bart. Itchy & Scratchy in "Bang the Cat Slowly" _________________________________________________________________ 1991-09-26 0302 #8F01 Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington SPITWADS ARE NOT FREE SPEECH Written By George Meyer Directed By Wes Archer The Simpsons go to Washington, DC; Lisa discovers a bribery among politicians. Homer: Shoe goes on, shoe goes off, shoe goes on, shoe goes off, shoe goes on, shoe goes off. Homer: Mmm... Money... Bart phones Homer as his wake-up call. Homer charges at Bart: I'll room service you! _________________________________________________________________ 1991-10-03 0303 #7F23 When Flanders Failed NOBODY LIKES SUNBURN SLAPPERS. Written By Jon Vitti Directed By Jim Reardon Homer wishes that Flanders fails with his new-opened left-handed business. Homer: Mmm... Barbecue... Itchy & Scratchy in "O Solo Meow" _________________________________________________________________ 1991-10-10 0304 #8F03 Bart the Murderer HIGH EXPLOSIVES AND SCHOOL DON'T MIX Written by John Swartzwelder Directed By Rich Moore Bart is accused of eliminating Skinner. Itchy & Scratchy in "The Sounds of Silencers" I WILL NOT BRIBE PRINCIPAL SKINNER [Bart writes] _________________________________________________________________ 1991-10-17 0305 #8F04 Homer Defined I WILL NOT SQUEAK CHALK Written By Howard Gewirtz Directed By Mark Kirkland Homer saves the power plant from a nuclear disaster with a sheer luck. Itchy & Scratchy in "My Dinner with Itchy" _________________________________________________________________ 1991-10-24 0306 #8F05 Like Father, Like Clown I WILL FINISH WHAT I STA Written by Jay Kogen & Wallace Wolodarsky Directed by Jeffrey Lynch with Brad Bird Bart and Lisa get together Krusty and his father. Rabbi Krustofski chokes Krusty. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... Itchy & Scratchy in "Field of Screams" _________________________________________________________________ 1991-10-31 0307 #8F02 The Simpsons Halloween Special II (special opening) Written By Atrocious Al Jean & Morbid Mike Reiss Jittery Jeff Martin Gasping George Meyer Slithering Sam Simon Spooky John Swartzwelder Directed By Jim Rondo Reardon Three-tale Halloween episode: Lisa's nightmare (Homer buys a monkey paw); Bart's nightmare (Bart turns Springfieldians into grotesque creatures); Homer's nightmare (Burns creates a robot with Homer's brain). Bart phones Moe forcing him to say he's a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt, and his butt smells, and he likes to kiss his own butt. _________________________________________________________________ 1991-11-07 0308 #8F06 Lisa's Pony "BART BUCKS" ARE NOT LEGAL TENDER Written by Al Jean & Mike Reiss Directed by Carlos Baeza Homer buys Lisa a pony. Homer: Mmm... Beer... Homer chokes Bart. _________________________________________________________________ 1991-11-14 0309 #8F07 Saturdays of Thunder I WILL NOT FAKE RABIES Written By Ken Levine & David Isaacs Directed By Jim Reardon Homer tries to help Bart to build a racing car. _________________________________________________________________ 1991-11-21 0310 #8F08 Flaming Moe's UNDERWEAR SHOULD BE WORN ON THE INSIDE Written By Robert Cohen Directed By Rich Moore & Alan Smart Moe steals Homer's recipe for a drink. Beneath: lead pipe and azbestos under Lisa's room Bart phones Moe asking for Hugh Jazz. _________________________________________________________________ 1991-12-05 0311 #8F09 Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk THE CHRISTMAS PAGEANT DOES NOT STINK Written By Jon Vitti Directed By Mark Kirkland Homer is fired after Burns sells the power plan to Germans. Itchy & Scratchy in "House of Pain" or "This Old Mouse" Bart phones Moe asking for Bea O'Problem. _________________________________________________________________ 1991-12-26 0312 #8F10 I Married Marge I WILL NOT TORMENT THE EMOTIONALLY FRAIL Written By Jeff Martin Directed By Jeffrey Lynch Homer tells the story about the beginning of the Simpsons family. Homer holds Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 1992-01-09 0313 #8F11 Radio Bart I WILL NOT CARVE GODS Written By Jon Vitti Directed By Carlos Baeza Bart ends up trapped in a well after playing a prank on people of Springfield. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... Homer jumps into well: Why, you little... Beneath: Microphone under Lisa's bed; triceratops' skeleton, treasure chest and alien skeleton around the well. Itchy & Scratchy in "Cat Splat Fever" _________________________________________________________________ 1992-01-23 0314 #8F12 Lisa the Greek (short opening) Written By Jay Kogen & Wallace Wolodarsky Directed By Rich Moore Lisa helps Homer with his sport bets. _________________________________________________________________ 1992-02-06 0315 #8F14 Homer Alone I WILL NOT SPANK OTHERS Written By David Stern Directed By Mark Kirkland Marge has a nervous breakdown and takes a personal vacation. _________________________________________________________________ 1992-02-13 0316 #8F16 Bart the Lover (short opening) Written By Jon Vitti Directed By Carlos Baeza Bart writes to Edna pretending to be a man interested in her; Homer tries not to swear much. _________________________________________________________________ 1992-02-20 0317 #8F13 Homer at the Bat I WILL NOT AIM FOR THE HEAD Written By John Swartzwelder Directed By Jim Reardon Homer plays in Burns' baseball team. Homer: Mmm... Doughnuts... Homer: Mmm... Potato chips... _________________________________________________________________ 1992-02-27 0318 #8F15 Separate Vocations I WILL NOT BARF UNLESS I'M SICK Written By George Meyer Directed By Jeffrey Lynch Lisa rebels in Springfield Elementary. Beneath: snake under Bart's class _________________________________________________________________ 1992-03-12 0319 #8F17 Dog of Death I SAW NOTHING UNUSUAL IN THE TEACHER'S LOUNGE Written By John Swartzwelder Directed By Jim Reardon Santa's Little Helper runs away from the Simpsons. _________________________________________________________________ 1992-03-26 0320 #8F19 Colonel Homer I WILL NOT CONDUCT MY OWN FIRE DRILLS Written By Matt Groening Directed By Mark Kirkland Homer becomes a manager of a singing waitress. _________________________________________________________________ 1992-04-09 0321 #8F20 Black Widower FUNNY NOISES ARE NOT FUNNY Story By Thomas Chastain and Sam Simon Teleplay By Jon Vitti Directed By David Silverman Sideshow Bob marries Selma and tries to kill her. _________________________________________________________________ 1992-04-23 0322 #8F21 The Otto Show I WILL NOT SPIN THE TURTLE Written By Jeff Martin Directed By Wes Archer Otto gets fired until he obtains a driver's license. Beneath: gold and riches under Lisa's room _________________________________________________________________ 1992-05-07 0323 #8F22 Bart's Friend Falls in Love I WILL NOT SNAP BRAS Written By Jay Kogen & Wallace Wolodarsky Directed By Jim Reardon Milhouse falls in love with a new student. Homer chases Bart: Why, you little... Itchy & Scratchy in "I'm Getting Buried in the Morning" _________________________________________________________________ 1992-08-27 0324 #8F23 Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes? I WILL NOT FAKE SEIZURES Written By John Swartzwelder Directed By Rich Moore Herb returns to the Simpsons trying to rebuild his wealth with a new invention. _________________________________________________________________ 1992-09-24 0401 #8F24 Kamp Krusty THIS PUNISHMENT IS NOT BORING AND POINTLESS Written By David M. Stern Directed By Mark Kirkland Bart and Lisa go to a holiday camp. _________________________________________________________________ 1992-10-01 E 0402 #8F18 A Streetcar Named Marge MY NAME IS NOT "DR. DEATH" Written By Jeff Martin Directed By Rich Moore Marge gets a role in a theatre; Maggie steals keys to pacifiers, resulting in a lot of enraging and annoying sucking sounds. _________________________________________________________________ 1992-10-08 0403 #9F01 Homer the Heretic I WILL NOT DEFAME NEW ORLEANS Written By George Meyer Directed By Jim Reardon Homer stops going into the church. Homer: Mmm... Fattening... _________________________________________________________________ 1992-10-15 0404 #9F02 Lisa the Beauty Queen I WILL NOT PRESCRIBE MEDICATION Written By Jeff Martin Directed By Mark Kirkland Lisa becomes a spokeperson for Laramie cigarettes. _________________________________________________________________ 1992-10-29 0405 #9F04 The Simpsons Halloween Special III (special opening) Written By Atrocious Al Kean & Morbid Mike Reiss Johnny Katastrophe Kogen & Warped Wally Woloradsky Scarifying Sam Simon Vicious Jack Vitti Directed By Bloodcurdling Carlos Baeza Three-tale Halloween episode: Clown Without Pity (Bart gets a murderous Krusty doll); King Homer (Burns captures a Homerous gorilla); Dial "Z" for Zombies (Bart and Lisa reanimate dead). _________________________________________________________________ 1992-11-03 0406 #9F03 Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie I WILL NOT BURY THE NEW KID Written By John Swartzwelder Directed By Rich Moore Homer punishes Bart by not allowing him to see the Itchy & Scratchy feature film. I WILL TRY TO RAISE A BETTER CHILD [Marge writes] Homer: Mmm... Burger... Homer: Mmm... Soylent Green... _________________________________________________________________ 1992-11-05 0407 #9F05 Marge Gets a Job I WILL NOT TEACH OTHERS TO FLY Written By Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein Directed By Jeff Lynch Marge gets a job in the power plant. _________________________________________________________________ 1992-11-12 0408 #9F06 New Kid on the Block I WILL NOT BRING SHEEP TO CLASS Written By Conan O'Brien Directed By Wes Archer Bart has a crush on the daughter of the new neighbor. Homer: Mmm... Shrimp... Bart phones Moe asking for Amanda Huggenkiss. Laura phones Moe asking for Ivana Tinkle. _________________________________________________________________ 1992-11-19 0409 #9F07 Mr. Plow A BURP IS NOT AN ANSWER Written By Jon Vitti Directed By Jim Reardon Homer buys a snow plow. _________________________________________________________________ 1992-12-03 0410 #9F08 Lisa's First Word TEACHER IS NOT A LEPER Written By Jeff Martin Directed By Mark Kirkland Homer and Marge tell the story about Lisa's first word. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... Homer: Mmm... Hog fat... Itchy & Scratchy in "100 Yard Gash _________________________________________________________________ 1992-12-17 0411 #9F09 Homer's Triple Bypass COFFEE IS NOT FOR KIDS Written By Gary Apple & Michael Carrington Directed By David Silverman Homer has a coronary operation. Homer: Mmm... Ham... Homer: Must... Sign... Policy... Homer: Bed goes up. Bed goes down. Bed goes up. Bed goes down. Bed goes up. Bed goes down. Bed goes up. Bed goes down. Homer: Cloud goes up. Cloud goes down. Cloud goes up. Cloud goes down. Bed goes up. Bed goes down. _________________________________________________________________ 1993-01-14 0412 #9F10 Marge vs. the Monorail I WILL NOT EAT THINGS FOR MONEY Written By Conan O'Brien Directed By Rich Moore A con man builds a monorail in Springfield. Homer: Mmm... Chicken... _________________________________________________________________ 1993-01-21 0413 #9F11 Selma's Choice I WILL NOT YELL "SHE'S DEAD" DURING ROLL CALL. Written By David M. Stern Directed By Carlos Baeza Selma wants to have a child. _________________________________________________________________ 1993-02-04 0414 #9F12 Brother from the Same Planet THE PRINCIPAL'S TOUPEE IS NOT A FRISBEE. Written By Jon Vitti Directed By Jeff Lynch Bart gets himself a big brother. Homer: Mmm... Grapefruit... Itchy & Scratchy in "Kitty - Kitty Bang - Bang" _________________________________________________________________ 1993-02-11 0415 #9F13 I Love Lisa I WILL NOT CALL THE PRINCIPAL "SPUD HEAD." Written By Frank Mula Directed By Wes Archer Valentine episode: Ralph thinks Lisa is in love with him. Itchy & Scratchy: "My Bloody Valentine" _________________________________________________________________ 1993-02-18 0416 #9F14 Duffless GOLDFISH DON'T BOUNCE Written By David M. Stern Directed By Jim Reardon Homer promises not to drink beer for a month; Lisa tries to prove that Bart is stupider than a hamster. Homer encounters a huge nasty spider. Homer: Mmm... Gummy beer... Homer: Mmm... Alcohol-fueled car... One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me. _________________________________________________________________ 1993-03-11 0417 #9F15 Last Exit to Springfield MUD IS NOT ONE OF THE 4 FOOD GROUPS Written By Jay Kogen & Wallace Wolodarsky Directed By Mark Kirkland Lisa needs braces; Homer becomes Union leader in the power plant. Homer punches Lenny in the back of the head. Homer: Mmm... Organized crime... Homer: Mmm... Grazie... _________________________________________________________________ 1993-04-01 0418 #9F17 So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show NO ONE IS INTERESTED IN MY UNDERPANTS Written By Jon Vitti Directed By Carlos Baeza Clip show: On April Fool's Day, Bart puts Homer into hospital. Homer: Mmm... Beer... Homer: Mmm... Chocolate... Homer: Mmm... Nuts... Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 1993-04-15 0419 #9F16 The Front I WILL NOT SELL MIRACLE CURES Written By Adam I. Lapidus Directed By Rich Moore Bart and Lisa write a script for Itchy & Scratchy episode under Grampa's name; Homer never finished high school. Itchy & Scratchy in "Dazed and Contused" written by Milt Fineburg & Hy Levine Itchy & Scratchy: "Little Barbershop of Horrors" by Abraham Simpson Homer chokes Bart. Itchy & Scratchy: "Screams from a Mall" by Abraham Simpson The Adventures of Ned Flanders Ned Flanders in "Love That God" _________________________________________________________________ 1993-04-29 0420 #9F18 Whacking Day I WILL RETURN THE SEEING-EYE DOG Written By John Swartzwelder Directed By Jeff Lynch Bart saves snakes from the Whacking Day. Homer: Mmm... Beer... Itchy & Scratchy: Guest Director: Oliver Stone _________________________________________________________________ 1993-05-06 0421 #9F20 Marge in Chains I DO NOT HAVE DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY Written By Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein Directed By Jim Reardon Marge is sentenced to prison for an unintentional shoplifting. Itchy & Scratchy in "Germs of Endearment" Homer: Mmm... Pie... _________________________________________________________________ 1993-05-13 0422 #9F19 Krusty Gets Kancelled I WILL NOT CHARGE ADMISSION TO THE BATHROOM Written By John Swartzwelder Directed By David Silverman Krusty's show is replaced by a show with a ventriloquist dummy called Gabbo. Homer: Mmm... Delicious... _________________________________________________________________ 1993-09-30 0501 #9F21 Homer's Barbershop Quartet I WILL NEVER WIN AN EMMY Written by Jeff Martin Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer tells the story of his singing group The Be Sharps. _________________________________________________________________ 1993-10-07 0502 #9F22 Cape Feare THE CAFETERIA DEEP FRYER IS NOT A TOY Written by Jon Vitti Directed by Rich Moore The Simpsons (The Thompsons) move into a houseboat to escape from Sideshow Bob. Itchy & Scratchy in "Spay Anything" _________________________________________________________________ 1993-10-14 0503 #1F02 Homer Goes to College (short opening) Written by Conan O'Brien Directed by Jim Reardon Homer goes to university. Itchy & Scratchy in Burning Down the Mouse _________________________________________________________________ 1993-10-21 0504 #1F01 Rosebud (short opening) Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Wes Archer Burns seeks his lost stuffed teddy bear Bobo. Homer: Mmm... Sixty-four slices of American cheese... Beneath: Hitler's bunker under burning Berlin & Homer turning the wheel with cakes in the power plant _________________________________________________________________ 1993-10-28 0505 #1F04 The Simpsons Halloween Special IV (special opening) Written by Watch Conan O'Brien The Late Bill Oakley & The Estate of Josh Weinstein Greg "It's Aliiive!" Daniels & Disfigured Dan McGrath Bilious Bill Canterbury Directed by David "Dry Bones" Silverman Three-tale Halloween episode: The Devil and Homer Simpson (Homer sells his soul for a donut); Terror at 5 1/2 Feet (a gremlin tries to destroy Bart's school bus); Bart Simpson's Dracula (Burns turns Bart into a vampire). Homer: Mmm... Forbidden doughnut... _________________________________________________________________ 1993-11-04 0506 #1F03 Marge on the Lam (short opening) Written by Bill Canterbury Directed by Mark Kirkland Marge is on the run with her new friend. Homer: Mmm... Invisible cola... Homer: Must... Get... To ballet... Homer: Mmm... Candy... Homer: Mmm... Convenient... _________________________________________________________________ 1993-11-11 0507 #1F05 Bart's Inner Child (short opening) Written by George Meyer Directed by Bob Anderson Bart inspires the Springfieldians to do whatever they want. _________________________________________________________________ 1993-11-18 0508 #1F06 Boy-Scoutz 'n the Hood (short opening) Written by Dan McGrath Directed by Jeffrey Lynch Bart joins Junior Campers and ends up lost in the sea on a boat with Homer and the Flanders. Homer: Mmm... Free goo... Itchy & Scratchy: Aaahhh! Wilderness! Homer: Mmm... Hamburger... _________________________________________________________________ 1993-12-09 0509 #1F07 The Last Temptation of Homer ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES BART A DULL BOY. Written by Frank Mula Directed by Carlos Baeza Homer meets his new colleague in the power plant, Mindy. _________________________________________________________________ 1993-12-16 0510 #1F08 $pringfield (or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling) I WILL NOT SAY "SPRINGFIELD" JUST TO GET APPLAUSE Written by Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein Directed by Wes Archer Burns opens a casino; Marge becomes possessed by gambling. _________________________________________________________________ 1994-01-06 0511 #1F09 Homer the Vigilante I AM NOT AUTHORIZED TO FIRE SUBSTITUTE TEACHERS Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Jum Reardon Homer tries to capture the Springfield Cat Burglar. _________________________________________________________________ 1994-02-03 0512 #1F11 Bart Gets Famous MY HOMEWORK WAS NOT STOLEN BY A ONE-ARMED MAN Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Susie Dietter Bart gets a job as Krusty's assistant. _________________________________________________________________ 1994-02-10 0513 #1F10 Homer and Apu I WILL NOT GO NEAR THE KINDERGARTEN TURTLE Written by Greg Daniels Directed by Mark Kirkland Apu is fired from Kwik-E-Mart. Apu chokes Homer. _________________________________________________________________ 1994-02-17 0514 #1F12 Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy (short opening) Written by Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein Directed by Jeffrey Lynch Lisa designs her own Malibu Stacy doll. _________________________________________________________________ 1994-02-24 0515 #1F13 Deep Space Homer (short opening) Written by David Mirkin Directed by Carlos Baeza Homer becomes an astronaut. Itchy & Scratchy: "Scar Trek:" The Next Laceration Homer: Mmm... Mediciney... _________________________________________________________________ 1994-03-17 0516 #1F14 Homer Loves Flanders I AM NOT DELIGHTFULLY SAUCY Written by David Richardson Directed by Wes Archer Homer and Ned become the best buddies. Homer: (after Bart) Why, you little... Mmm... Free wig... _________________________________________________________________ 1994-03-31 0517 #1F15 Bart Gets an Elephant ORGAN TRANSPLANTS ARE BEST LEFT TO THE PROFESSIONALS Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Jim Reardon Bart wins an elephant. Homer: Mmm... Elephant fresh... Homer: Mmm... Caramel... _________________________________________________________________ 1994-04-14 0518 #1F16 Burns' Heir THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE DOES NOT END WITH HAIL SATAN Written by Jace Richdale Directed by Mark Kirkland Burns decides that Bart will be his heir. Burns chokes Smithers: You almost killed me! Itchy & Scratchy: "The Buck Chops Here" _________________________________________________________________ 1994-04-28 0519 #1F18 Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song [100th episode] I WILL NOT CELEBRATE MEANINGLESS MILESTONES Written by Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein Directed by Bob Anderson Bart befriends Skinner after he is fired from the school. _________________________________________________________________ 1994-05-05 0520 #1F19 The Boy Who Knew Too Much THERE ARE PLENTY OF BUSINESSES LIKE SHOW BUSINESS Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Jeffrey Lynch Bart testifies as a witness in the court when Quimby's nephew is accused of assaulting a waiter; Homer is a member of the jury. _________________________________________________________________ 1994-05-12 0521 #1F21 Lady Bouvier's Lover I WILL NOT RE-TRANSMIT WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL Written by Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein Directed by Wes Archer Grampa falls in love with Marge's mother, and so does Burns. Beneath: A recording device under Maggie's room _________________________________________________________________ 1994-05-19 0522 #1F20 Secrets of a Successful Marriage FIVE DAYS IS NOT TOO LONG TO WAIT FOR A GUN Written by Greg Daniels Directed by Carlos Baeza Marge throws Homer out of the house after he reveals to his class details from their marriage. _________________________________________________________________ 1994-09-04 0601 #1F22 Bart of Darkness BEANS ARE NEITHER FRUIT NOR MUSICAL Written by Dan McGrath Directed by Jim Reardon Bart breaks his leg; he suspects Ned of killing his wife. Itchy & Scratchy in Planet of the Aches _________________________________________________________________ 1994-09-11 0602 #1F17 Lisa's Rival NO ONE IS INTERESTED IN MY UNDERPANTS Written by Mike Scully Directed by Mark Kirkland A new student in the school is smarter than Lisa. _________________________________________________________________ 1994-09-25 0603 #2F33 Another Simpsons Clip Show I WILL NOT USE ABBREV. Written by Penny Wise [Jon Vitti] Directed by David Silverman Clip show: The Simpsons recall their stories about love. _________________________________________________________________ 1994-10-02 0604 #2F01 Itchy & Scratchy Land I AM NOT THE REINCARNATION OF SAMMY DAVIS JR. Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Wes Archer The Simpsons visit Itchy & Scratchy amusement park. Itchy & Scratchy in "The Last Traction Hero" _________________________________________________________________ 1994-10-09 0605 #2F02 Sideshow Bob Roberts (short opening) Written by Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein Directed by Mark Kirkland Republicans wants someone of them to be in the council of Springfield; Sideshow Bob runs for the mayor. _________________________________________________________________ 1994-10-30 0606 #2F03 The Simpsons Halloween Special V (special opening) Written by Count Greg Danula and Dearly Departed Dan McGrath David Cohen's Severed Hand Blob Kushell Directed by Jaundiced Jim Reardon Three-tale Halloween episode: The Shinning (Homer goes crazy in a hotel); Time and Punishment (Homer alters the reality with a toaster time machine); Nightmare Cafeteria (children are eaten in the school). _________________________________________________________________ 1994-11-06 0607 #2F04 Bart's Girlfriend I WILL NOT SEND LARD THROUGH THE MAIL Written by Jonathan Collier Directed by Susie Dietter Bart falls in love with Lovejoy's daughter. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 1994-11-13 0608 #2F05 Lisa on Ice I WILL NOT DISSECT THINGS UNLESS INSTRUCTED Written by Mike Scully Directed by Bob Anderson Lisa joins a hockey team against Bart's team. Homer: Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. _________________________________________________________________ 1994-11-27 0609 #2F06 Homer Badman I WILL NOT WHITTLE HALL PASSES OUT OF SOAP Written by Greg Daniels Directed by Jeff Lynch Homer is accused of harassing a student. _________________________________________________________________ 1994-12-04 0610 #2F07 Grandpa vs. Sexual Inadequacy MY HOMEWORK WAS NOT STOLEN BY A ONE-ARNED MAN Written by Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein Directed by Wes Archer Grampa creates an elixir for potency. Grampa chokes Homer: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 1994-12-18 0611 #2F08 Fear of Flying RALPH WON'T "MORPH" IF YOU SQUEEZE HIM HARD ENOUGH Written by David Sacks Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer discovers that Marge has fear of flying. _________________________________________________________________ 1995-01-08 0612 #2F09 Homer the Great ADDING "JUST KIDDING" DOESN'T MAKE IT OKAY TO INSULT THE PRINCIPAL Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Jim Reardon Homer becomes the leader of the Stonecutters. _________________________________________________________________ 1995-01-22 0613 #2F10 And Maggie Makes Three "BAGMAN" IS NOT A LEGITIMATE CAREER CHOICE Written by Jennifer Crittenden Directed by Swinton O. Scott III Homer tells the story of Maggie. _________________________________________________________________ 1995-02-05 0614 #2F11 Bart's Comet CURSIVE WRITING DOES NOT MEAN WHAT I THINK IT DOES Written by Jown Swartzwelder Directed by Bob Anderson Bart discovers a comet. _________________________________________________________________ 1995-02-12 0615 #2F12 Homie the Clown NEXT TIME IT COULD BE ME ON THE SCAFFOLDING Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by David Silverman Homer becomes a clown. Homer beats Krusty Burglar: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 1995-02-19 0616 #2F13 Bart vs. Australia I WILL NOT HANG DONUTS ON MY PERSON Written by Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein Directed by Wes Archer The Simpsons go to Australia where Bart has to apologize. Homer: Look, boy, now, I'm in Australia. Now, I'm in America. Australia. America. Australia. America. Australia. America. Australia. America. Australia. Amer... Beneath: skeletons under America, Vishnu in the center of the Earth and a wreck of Skylab under Australia _________________________________________________________________ 1995-02-26 0617 #2F14 Homer vs. Patty and Selma I WILL REMEMBER TO TAKE MY MEDICATION Written by Brent Forrester Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer borrows money from Patty and Selma. _________________________________________________________________ 1995-03-05 0618 #2F31 A Star is Burns (short opening) Written by Ken Keeler Directed by Susie Dietter Crossover episode (with "The Critic"): Springfield organizes a film festival. ("Created By Matt Groening" and Groening's name from "Developed By" credits are missing in the opening.) Itchy & Scratchy: Four Funerals and a Wedding Homer: Beer nuts... _________________________________________________________________ 1995-03-19 0619 #2F15 Lisa's Wedding I WILL NOT STRUT AROUND LIKE I OWN THE PLACE Written by Greg Daniels Directed by Jim Reardon Episode about the future: Lisa falls in love and plans a wedding. Beneath: a worker's skeleton, a treasure chest and Martin's lair under the Springfield Elementary. _________________________________________________________________ 1995-04-09 0620 #2F18 Two Dozen and One Greyhounds THE GOOD HUMOR MAN CAN ONLY BE PUSHED SO FAR Written by Mike Scully Directed by Bob Anderson The Simpsons have twenty-five greyhound puppies; Burns steals them and plans to make cloths out of them. _________________________________________________________________ 1995-04-16 0621 #2F19 The PTA Disbands I DO NOT HAVE POWER OF ATTORNEY OVER FIRST GRADERS Written by Jennifer Crittenden Directed by Swinton O. Scott III Teachers in the Springfield Elementary go into strike. Moe calls up Anita Bath. Moe calls up Maya Buttreeks. _________________________________________________________________ 1995-04-30 0622 #2F32 'Round Springfield NERVE GAS IS NOT A TOY Teleplay by Joshua Sternin & Jeffrey Ventimilia Story by Mike Reiss & Al Jean Directed by Steven Dean Moore Bleeding Gums Murphy dies. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... Homer sucks pacifier: Mmm... _________________________________________________________________ 1995-05-07 0623 #2F21 The Springfield Connection I WILL NOT MOCK MRS. DUMBFACE Written by Jonathan Collier Directed by Mark Kirkland Marge joins the Springfield Police Department. Homer: Mmm... Incapacitating... _________________________________________________________________ 1995-05-14 0624 #2F22 Lemon of Troy THE FIRST AMENDMENT DOES NOT COVER BURPING Written by Brent Forrester Directed by Jim Reardon Boys from Shelbyville steal Springfield's lemon tree. _________________________________________________________________ 1995-05-21 0625 #2F16 Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part 1) THIS IS NOT A CLUE ... OR IS IT ? Written by Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein Directed by Jeffrey Lynch Burns is shot by someone from Springfield. To be continued... Beneath: oil reservoid under Springfield Elementary _________________________________________________________________ 1995-09-17 Springfield's Most Wanted [does not count as a Simpsons episode] Directed By Bill Brown Written By Jack Parmeter Bob Bain Live show with clips from "The Simpsons" trying to figure out who shot Mr. Burns. _________________________________________________________________ 1995-09-17 0701 #2F20 Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part 2) I WILL NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT THE SOLUTION WHEN I HEAR IT Written by Bill Oakley & Josh Weinstein Directed by Wes Archer Burns wakes up and reveals that he was shot by Maggie. _________________________________________________________________ 1995-09-24 0702 #2F17 Radioactive Man "BEWITCHED" DOES NOT PROMOTE SATANISM Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Susie Dietter Milhouse gets a role in the "Radioactive Man" feature film. _________________________________________________________________ 1995-10-01 0703 #3F01 Home Sweet HomeDiddly-Dum-Doodily NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR FROM MY ARMPITS Written by Jon Vitti Directed by Susie Dietter Child Welfare takes the Simpsons children to the Flanders. Homer chokes a plant: Lousy house plant! You son of a... I'll teach you to... Homer chokes Cletus: Why, you little... Itchy & Scratchy in Foster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! _________________________________________________________________ 1995-10-08 0704 #3F02 Bart Sells His Soul I AM NOT A LEAN MEAN SPITTING MACHINE Written by Greg Daniels Directed by Wesley Archer Bart sells his soul to Milhouse. Itchy & Scratchy in Skinless in Seattle _________________________________________________________________ 1995-10-15 0705 #3F03 Lisa the Vegetarian THE BOYS ROOM IS NOT A WATER PARK Written by David S. Cohen Directed by Mark Kirkland Lisa loses her mind and becomes a vegetarian. Itchy & Scratchy in Esophagus Now _________________________________________________________________ 1995-10-29 0706 #3F04 The Simpsons Halloween Special VI (special opening) Written by Scary John Swartzwelder, ______________ Steve Tombkins and \/David S. Cohen Directed by Bedlam Bob Anderson Three-tale Halloween episode: Attack of the 50th Eyesores (Mascots in Springfield come alive); Nightmare on Evergreen Ter. (Willie attacks children in dreams); Homer [to the power of] 3 (Homer enters a 3-D dimension). _________________________________________________________________ 1995-11-05 0707 #3F05 King-Size Homer INDIAN BURNS ARE NOT OUR CULTURAL HERITAGE Written by Dan Greaney Directed by Jim Reardon Homer gains weight so he does not have to go to work. Homer: Must hurt self, must hurt self, must hurt self... Beneath: Skeletons of Itchy & Scratchy under a corn field. _________________________________________________________________ 1995-11-19 0708 #3F06 Mother Simpson (short opening) Written by Richard Appel Directed by David Silverman Homer's mother is on the run from the police. Homer chokes Bart: I'll Kwanzaa you... Beneath: Termites between floorboards in the Simpsons' house (DVD deleted scene only). _________________________________________________________________ 1995-11-26 0709 #3F08 Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming WEDGIES ARE UNHEALTHY FOR CHILDREN AND OTHER LIVING THINGS Written by Spike Feresten Directed by Dominic Polcino Sideshow Bob threatens to detonate a nuclear bomb if Springfield does not cancel television. Beneath: Emergency rations and control room under Springfield Air Force Base. _________________________________________________________________ 1995-12-03 0710 #3F31 The Simpson 138th Episode Spectacular! Twenty-Three Percent New Footage Not a Significant Source of U.S. RDA Original Entertainment I WILL ONLY DO THIS ONCE A YEAR Written by Penny Wise [Jon Vitti] Directed by Pound Foolish [David Silverman] Clip show: Troy McClure presents various clips from the Simpsons including Tracey Ullman shorts and deleted scenes. _________________________________________________________________ 1995-12-17 0711 #3F07 Marge Be Not Proud I WILL STOP TALKING ABOUT THE TWELVE INCH PIANIST Written by Mike Scully Directed by Steven Dean Moore Christmas episode: Marge learns that Bart was caught stealing a video game in a store. _________________________________________________________________ 1996-01-07 0712 #3F10 Team Homer I AM NOT CERTIFIED TO REMOVE ASBESTOS Written by Mike Scully Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer and his pals form a bowling team; Springfield Elementary applies a strict dress code. _________________________________________________________________ 1996-01-14 0713 #3F09 Two Bad Neighbors (short opening) Written by Ken Keeler Directed by Wes Archer Homer and his neighbor, former President Bush, become enemies. Bush chokes Homer: Now, I'll ruin you like a Japanese banquet... _________________________________________________________________ 1996-02-04 0714 #3F11 Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield (short opening) Written by Jennifer Crittender Directed by Susie Dietter Marge buys a new costume and enters a higher society. _________________________________________________________________ 1996-02-11 0715 #3F12 Bart the Fink (short opening) Story by Bob Kushell Teleplay by John Swartzwelder Directed by Jim Reardon Krusty fakes his death after being found out as a tax fraud. _________________________________________________________________ 1996-02-18 0716 #3F13 Lisa the Iconoclast (short opening) Written by Jonathan Collier Directed by Mike B. Anderson Lisa debunks the myth about Jebediah Springfield. _________________________________________________________________ 1996-02-25 0717 #3F14 Homer the Smithers (short opening) Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Steven Dean Moore Smithers is forced to take a vacation, and Homer replaces him. Burns phones Moe asking for Waylon Smithers. Homer and Smithers choke each other. _________________________________________________________________ 1996-03-17 0718 #3F16 The Day the Violence Died (short opening) Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Wesley Archer The studio that makes Itchy & Scratchy cartoons goes bankrupt after being sued by the characters' real creator. Itchy & Scratchy in Remembrance of Things Slashed _________________________________________________________________ 1996-03-24 0719 #3F15 A Fish Called Selma (short opening) Written by Jack Barth Directed by Mark Kirkland Selma marries Troy McClure. Homer: Marge, could you close your eyes? _________________________________________________________________ 1996-03-31 0720 #3F17 Bart on the Road (short opening) Written by Richard Appel Directed by Swinton O. Scott III Bart makes himself a fake driver's license and goes with his friends on a road trip. Homer phones Moe asking for Youra Snotball. _________________________________________________________________ 1996-04-14 0721 #3F18 22 Short Films About Springfield (short opening) Twenty-two Short Films About Springfield Written by Richard Appel, David S. Cohen, Jonathan Collier, Jennifer Crittenden, Greg Daniels, Brent Forrester, Rachel Pulido, Steve Tompkins, Bill Oakley, Josh Weinstein and Matt Groening With Writing Supervised by Greg Daniels Directed by Jim Reardon Multiple stories including Apu in "The Jolly Bengali"; Skinner & the Superintendent; Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel; The Tomfoolery of Professor John Frink. Beneath: a mouse skeleton in a brick in CBG's shop _________________________________________________________________ 1996-04-28 0722 #3F19 Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish" (short opening) Written by Jonathan Collier Directed by Jeffrey Lynch Grampa and Bart fight with Burns for a hidden treasure. _________________________________________________________________ 1996-05-05 0723 #3F20 Much Apu About Nothing (short opening) Written by David S. Cohen Directed by Susie Dietter Apu tries to get an American citizenship. _________________________________________________________________ 1996-05-19 0724 #3F21 Homerpalooza (short opening) Written by Brent Forrester Directed by Wesley Archer Homer acts on music festivals as a cannonball man. _________________________________________________________________ 1996-05-19 0725 #3F22 Summer of 4 Ft. 2 (short opening) Written by Dan Greaney Directed by Mark Kirkland The Simpsons go to a vacation; lisa finds some friends when she tries do be different person. _________________________________________________________________ 1996-10-27 0801 #4F02 The Simpsons Halloween Special VII (special opening) Written by The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Ken Keeler Dan Greaney David S. Cohen Directed by Mutant Mike B. Anderson Three-tale Halloween episode: The Thing and I (Bart and Lisa discover their brother); The Genesis Tub (Lisa creates a world from her tooth); Citizen Kang (and Kodos replace politicians). _________________________________________________________________ 1996-11-03 0802 #3F23 You Only Move Twice I DID NOT LEARN EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW IN KINDERGARTEN Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Mike Anderson The Simpsons move into a new town where Homer unwittingly works for a supervillain Scorpio. _________________________________________________________________ 1996-11-10 0803 #4F03 The Homer They Fall I AM NOT MY LONG LOST TWIN Written by Jonathan Collier Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer is boxing in a ring. _________________________________________________________________ 1996-11-17 0804 #4F05 Burns, Baby Burns (short opening) Written by Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Jim Reardon Homer and Burns' son Larry fake Larry's kidnapping. _________________________________________________________________ 1996-11-24 0805 #4F06 Bart After Dark (short opening) Written by Richard Appel Directed by Dominic Polcino Bart works in a burlesque house; Marge destroys it. Itchy & Scratchy in Good Cats Bad Choices _________________________________________________________________ 1996-12-01 0806 #4F04 A Milhouse Divided (short opening) Written by Steve Tompkins Directed by Steven Dean Moore Milhouses separate, and Homer is afraid it will happen to him and Marge, too. _________________________________________________________________ 1996-12-15 0807 #4F01 Lisa's Date with Density (short opening) Written by Mike Scully Directed by Susie Dietter Lisa loves Nelson; Homer uses an automatic dialer for a telemarketing scam. I WILL NOT BE A SNICKERPUSS. [Lisa writes] _________________________________________________________________ 1996-12-29 0808 #4F07 Hurricane Neddy (short opening) Written by Steve Young Directed by Bob Anderson Ned suffers a mental breakdown after "The Hurricane" destroys his house, and the Springfieldians try to rebuild it. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-01-05 0809 #3F24 El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Our Homer) (short opening) Written by Ken Keeler Directed by Jim Reardon Homer has hallucinations from chilli, and he looks for his soulmate. Homer: Sunrise, sunset. Sunrise, sunset. Sunrise, sunset. Sunrise, sunset. Sunrise, sunset. Sunrise, sunset. Beneath: NSA, FBI, ATF, CIA, KGB and MCI wires under master bedroom. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-01-12 0810 #3G01 The Springfield Files THE TRUTH IS NOT OUT THERE Written by Reid Harrison Directed by Steven Dean Moore Crossover episode (with "The X-Files"): Agents Mulder and Scully come to Springfield to investigate Homer's encounter with an extra-terrestrial. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-01-19 0811 #4F08 The Twisted World of Marge Simpson I AM NOT LICENSED TO DO ANYTHING Written by Jennifer Crittenden Directed by Chuck Sheetz Marge starts business with pretzels; Homer hires Fat Tony to improve Marge's profit. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-02-02 0812 #4F10 Mountain of Madness (short opening) Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Mark Kirkland During a team building, Homer and Burns get trapped under several avalanches. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-02-07 0813 #3G03 Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala (Annoyed Grunt)cious I WILL NOT HIDE THE TEACHER'S PROZAC Written by Al Jean & Mike Reiss Directed by Chuck Sheetz Musical episode: The Simpsons hire nanny Shary Bobbins. Homer chokes Bart: You little... Itchy & Scratchy in Reservoir Cats Special Guest Director Quentin Tarantino _________________________________________________________________ 1997-02-09 0814 #4F12 The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show (short opening) Written by David S. Cohen Directed by Steven Dean Moore Homer voices new cartoon character Poochie. Itchy & Scratchy in Why Do Fools Fall in Lava? Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie in The Beagle Has Landed _________________________________________________________________ 1997-02-16 0815 #4F11 Homer's Phobia (short opening) Written by Ron Hauge Directed by Mike B. Anderson Homer is afraid that Bart might be warm. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 1997-02-23 0816 #4F14 Brother from Another Series (short opening) Written by Ken Keeler Directed by Pete Michels Sideshow Bob tries to stop his brother from comitting a crime. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-03-02 E 0817 #4F13 My Sister, My Sitter (short opening) Written by Dan Greaney Directed by Jim Reardon Bart tortures Lisa when she babys-sits him. Two-story outhouse. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-03-16 0818 #4F15 Homer vs. the Eighteen Amendment (short opening) Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Bob Anderson When prohibition is declared in Springfield, Homer starts to deliver alcohol as the Beer Baron. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-04-06 0819 #4F09 Grade School Confidential (short opening) Written by Rachel Pulido Directed by Susie Dietter Skinner and Edna become romantically involved in the school. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-04-13 0820 #4F16 The Canine Mutiny A FIRE DRILL DOES NOT DEMAND A FIRE Written by Ron Hauge Directed by Dominic Polcino Bart changes Santa's Little helper for another dog. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-04-20 0821 #4F17 The Old Man and the Lisa (short opening) Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Mark Kirkland Burns goes bankrupt, and Lisa helps him to rebuild his empire by teaching him how to recycle. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-04-27 0822 #4F18 In Marge We Trust (short opening) Written by Donick Cary Directed by Steven Dean Moore Marge is helping in the church; Homer finds a box with his face on the cover. Itchy & Scratchy in Deaf Comedy Blam! Beneath: Snowball II under master bedroom. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-05-04 0823 #4F19 Homer's Enemy (short opening) Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Jim Reardon Homer drives Frank Grimes, a new worker in the power plant, crazy. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-05-11 0824 #4F20 The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase (special opening) Story by Ken Keeler Written by David S. Cohen Dan Greaney Steve Tompkins Directed by Neil Affleck Three-tale episode: Chief Wiggum P.I.; The Love-Matic Grampa; The Simpsons Family Smile-time Variety Hour. (Totally stupid waste of time watching this one.) _________________________________________________________________ 1997-05-18 0825 #4F21 The Secret War of Lisa Simpson (short opening) Written by Richard Appel Directed by Mike B. Anderson Bart is sent to military school, and Lisa joins him. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-09-21 0901 #4F22 The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson (short opening) Written by Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Jim Reardon The Simpsons go to the New York to get Homer's car. ________________________________________________________________ 1997-09-28 0902 #4F23 The Principal and the Pauper (short opening) Written by Ken Keeler Directed by Steve Moore Principal "Skinner" is confronted by the real Seymour Skinner. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-10-19 0903 #3G02 Lisa's Sax I NO LONGER WANT MY MTV Written by Al Jean Directed by Dominic Polcino Homer and Marge tell the story of Lisa's saxophone. Homer to Lisa: I'll practice you! Munch's Scream approaches Homer: Meeee! _________________________________________________________________ 1997-10-26 0904 #5F02 The Simpsons Halloween Special VIII (special opening) Ghostwritten by Mike Scully David S. Cohen Ned Goldreyer Directed by Mad Dog Kirkland Three-tale Halloween episode: The Homega Man (Homer fights mutants after a nuclear disaster); Fly vs Fly (Bart transforms into a fly and encounters a huge nasty spider); Easy-Bake Coven (The origin of Halloween in 1649 A.D.). _________________________________________________________________ 1997-11-02 0905 #5F01 The Cartridge Family EVERYONE IS TIRED OF THAT RICHARD GERE STORY Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Pete Michels Homer buys a handgun. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-11-09 0906 #5F03 Bart Star I DID NOT INVENT IRISH DANCING Written by Donick Cary Directed by Dominic Polcino Homer becomes a coach of a football team; he chases Bart trying to hug him. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-11-16 0907 #5F04 The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons (short opening) Written by David Apper Directed by Steven Dean Moore Apu pretends to be married with Marge to avoid a wedding planned for him by his mother. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-11-23 0908 #5F05 Lisa the Skeptic I WILL NOT TEASE FATTY Written by David S. Cohen Directed by Neil Affleck Lisa denies the authenticity of an angel-resembling skeleton. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-12-07 0909 #5F06 Realty Bites THERE WAS NO ROMAN GOD NAMED "FARTACUS" Written by Dan Greaney Directed by Swinton Scott Marge sells a house of murder to the Flanders family. _________________________________________________________________ 1997-12-21 0910 #5F07 Miracle on Evergreen Terrace RUDOLPH'S RED NOSE IS NOT ALCOHOL-RELATED Written by Ron Hauge Directed by Bob Anderson Christmas episode: Bart burns down the Christmas tree with presents. Lisa chokes Bart: You little... Homer chokes Bart: Lisa, no! Your hands are too weak. _________________________________________________________________ 1998-01-04 0911 #5F24 All Singing, All Dancing (short opening) Written by Steve O'Donnell Directed by Mark Ervin Clip show: The Simpsons discuss their musical bits; Snake would shoot them all dead if he had his gun loaded. Homer chokes Bart. _________________________________________________________________ 1998-01-11 0912 #5F08 Bart Carny (short opening) Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer and Bart meet two carnival workers who take over the Simpsons' house. _________________________________________________________________ 1998-02-08 0913 #5F23 The Joy of Sect SHOOTING PAINTBALLS IS NOT AN ART FORM Written by Steve O'Donnell Directed by Steven Dean Moore The Simpsons join the Movementarian cult. _________________________________________________________________ 1998-02-15 0914 #5F11 Das Bus (short opening) Written by David S. Cohen Directed by Peter Michels Children from Springfield Elementary become castaways on a deserted island; Homer opens a computer firm. Homer: Mmm... Memo... _________________________________________________________________ 1998-02-22 0915 #5F10 The Last Temptation of Krust PAIN IS NOT THE CLEANSER Written by Donick Cary Directed by Mike B. Anderson Krusty tries to be funny again; he advertises a new car. _________________________________________________________________ 1998-03-01 0916 #5F12 Dumbbell Indemnity SILLY STRING IS NOT A NASAL SPRAY Written by Ron Hauge Directed by Dominic Polcino Homer sinks Moe's car so Moe can collect insurance money. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 1998-03-08 0917 #4F24 Lisa the Simpson (short opening) Written by Ned Goldreyer Directed by Susie Dietter Lisa is afraid that she will be dumb like the male Simpsons; Jasper freezes himself in the Kwik-E-Mart. _________________________________________________________________ 1998-03-22 0918 #5F13 This Little Wiggy I WAS NOT TOLD TO DO THIS Written by Dan Greaney Directed by Neil Affleck Bart plays with Ralph and his father's master key. _________________________________________________________________ 1998-03-29 0919 #3G04 Simpson Tide MY BUTT DOES NOT DESERVE A WEBSITE Written by Joshua Sternin & Jeffrey Ventimilia Directed by Milton Gray Homer joins the Naval Reserve. Homer: Mmm... Doughnuts... _________________________________________________________________ 1998-04-05 0920 #5F14 The Trouble with Trillions I WILL NOT DEMAND WHAT I'M WORTH Written by Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Swinton Scott Homer is blackmailed by the government to get Burns' trillion dollar bill. _________________________________________________________________ 1998-04-19 0921 #5F15 Girly Edition (short opening) Written by Larry Doyle Directed by Mark Kirkland Bart and Lisa moderate Kidz Newz. Itchy & Scratchy in The Glass Moan-agerie Willie chokes Bart: I'll kill ya! Lisa chokes Bart. _________________________________________________________________ 1998-04-26 0922 #5F09 Trash of the Titans [200th episode] (short opening) I WILL NOT MESS WITH THE OPENING CREDITS [in couch gag] Written by Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Jim Reardon Homer replaces the man in charge of the garbage disposal in Springfield (after he shakes the man parrot's cage). Homer charges at Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 1998-05-03 0923 #5F16 King of the Hill (short opening) Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Steven Dean Moore Homer climbs up the highest hill in Springfield. _________________________________________________________________ 1998-05-10 0924 #5F17 Lost Our Lisa I AM NOT THE NEW DALAI LAMA Written by Brian Scully Directed by Pete Michels Lisa gets lost on her way to the Springsonian Museum. _________________________________________________________________ 1998-05-17 0925 #5F18 Natural Born Kissers I WAS NOT THE INSPIRATION FOR "KRAMER" Written by Matt Selman Directed by Klay Hall Homer and Marge lose their clothes while snuggling in the public. Homer: Did that butter churn just move? 'Cause if it did... _________________________________________________________________ 1998-08-23 1001 #5F20 Lard of the Dance (short opening) Written by Jane O'Brien Directed by Dominic Polcino Homer tries to steal grease to earn some money. _________________________________________________________________ 1998-09-20 1002 #5F21 The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace I WILL NOT FILE FRIVOLOUS LAWSUITS Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer tries to be an inventor like Edison. _________________________________________________________________ 1998-09-27 1003 #5F22 Bart the Mother (short opening) Written by David S. Cohen Directed by Steven Dean Moore Bart kills a bird and takes care of its eggs. _________________________________________________________________ 1998-10-25 1004 #AABF01 The Simpsons Halloween Special IX (special opening) THE SIMPSONS HALLOWEEN SPECIAL IX Written by Donick "I Still Know What I Did Last Summer" Cary The Bride of Lichtenstein David S. Coffin Directed by Steven "Demon" Moore Three-tale episode: Hell Toupee (Homer is posessed by Snake's scalp); The Terror of Tiny Toon (Bart and Lisa fight Itchy & Scratchy); Starship Poopers (Kang claims Maggie is his daughter). Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... Itchy & Scratchy in Candle in the Wound _________________________________________________________________ 1998-11-08 1005 #5F19 When You Dish upon a Star BUTT.COM IS NOT MY E-MAIL ADDRESS Written by Richard Appel Directed by Pete Michels Homer meets Kim Basinger and Alex Baldwin. Marge: Homer, your spine. _________________________________________________________________ 1998-11-15 1006 #AABF02 D'oh-in' in the Wind NO ONE CARES WHAT MY DEFINITION OF "IS" IS. Written by Donick Cary Directed by Mark Kirkland Matthew Nastuk Burns' eployees try to open his jar; Homer wonders what his middle name is; he distributes Marijuana juice. _________________________________________________________________ 1998-11-22 1007 #AABF03 Lisa Gets an "A" I WILL NOT SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM Written by Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Bob Anderson Lisa cheats on a test; Homer buys a lobster. Homer charges at Pinchy: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 1998-12-06 1008 #AABF04 Homer Simpson in "Kidney Trouble" I AM NOT A LICENSED HAIRSTYLIST Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Mike B. Anderson Homer escapes from having his kidney donated to Grampa. _________________________________________________________________ 1998-12-20 1009 #AABF05 Mayored to the Mob "THE PRESIDENT DID IT" IS NOT AN EXCUSE Written by Ron Hauge Directed by Swinton O. Scott III Homer works as the bodyguard for Mayor Quimby. _________________________________________________________________ 1999-01-10 1010 #AABF06 Viva Ned Flanders MY MOM IS NOT DATING JERRY SEINFELD Written by David M. Stern Directed by Neil Affleck Homer takes Ned to Las Vegas, and they both get married there. _________________________________________________________________ 1999-01-17 1011 #AABF07 Wild Barts Can't Be Broken SHERRI DOES NOT "GOT BACK" Written by Larry Doyle Directed by Mark Ervin A curfew is ordered for all children in Springfield. _________________________________________________________________ 1999-01-31 1012 #AABF08 Sunday, Cruddy Sunday I WILL NOT DO THE DIRTY BIRD Written by Tom Martin George Meyer Brian Scully Mike Scully Directed by Steven Dean Moore Homer and his friends go to Superbowl (and meet Rupert Murdoch). _________________________________________________________________ 1999-02-07 1013 #AABF09 Homer to the Max NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT MY SCIANTICA Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Pete Michels Homer changes his name to Max Power. _________________________________________________________________ 1999-02-14 1014 #AABF11 I'm with Cupid HILLBILLIES ARE PEOPLE TOO Written by Dan Greaney Directed by Bob Anderson Valentine episode: Homer and his friends try to sabotage Apu's final Valentine present for his wife. Homer: Roses... So many roses... _________________________________________________________________ 1999-02-21 1015 #AABF10 Marge Simpson in "Screaming Yellow Honkers" GRAMMAR IS NOT A TIME OF WASTE Written by David M. Stern Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer buys a new car; Marge saves her family from rhinos. _________________________________________________________________ 1999-02-28 1016 #AABF12 Make Room for Lisa I DO NOT HAVE DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY Written by Brian Scully Directed by Matthew Nastuk Homer lets install a telecommunication equipment into Lisa's room which Marge uses to spy on fellow citizens; Homer and Lisa spend some time in sensory deprivation tanks. _________________________________________________________________ 1999-03-28 1017 #AABF13 Maximum Homerdrive IT DOES NOT SUCK TO BE YOU Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Swinton Scott A truck driver dies in an eating duel with Homer, and Homer with Bart drive his truck to its point of destination. _________________________________________________________________ 1999-04-04 1018 #AABF14 Simpsons Bible Stories I CANNOT ABSOLVE SINS Written by Tim Long Larry Doyle Matt Selman Directed by Nancy Kruse Three-tale episode (four-tale actually): Marge's dream (Homer as Adam and Marge as Eva in paradise); Lisa's dream (Milhouse as Moses and Lisa during the exodus); Homer's dream (Homer as King Solomon); Bart's dream (Bart as David versus Nelson as Goliath). eye well knot D+ face [Bart carves ("I will not deface")] _________________________________________________________________ 1999-04-11 1019 #AABF15 Mom and Pop Art A TRAINED APE COULD NOT TEACH GYM Written by Al Jean Directed by Steven Dean Moore Homer turns his rage into art. Homer: Mmm... Hippo... _________________________________________________________________ 1999-04-25 1020 #AABF16 The Old Man And The "C" Student LOOSE TEETH DON'T NEED MY HELP Written by Julie Thacker Directed by Mark Kirkland Bart ruins the chance for Springfield to host Olympic Games, and he must volunteer in Springfield Retirement Castle. Bart: Grampa... Homer... Grampa... Homer... _________________________________________________________________ 1999-05-02 1021 #AABF17 Monty Can't Buy Me Love I HAVE NEITHER BEEN THERE NOR DONE THAT Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Mark Ervin Burns wants to be popular, so he goes to get the Loch Ness Monster. _________________________________________________________________ 1999-05-09 1022 #AABF18 They Saved Lisa's Brain NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR FROM MY ARMPITS Written by Matt Selman Directed by Pete Michels Lisa joins the local Mensa club; Homer poses for a photographer. _________________________________________________________________ 1999-05-16 1023 #AABF20 30 Minutes over Tokyo I'M SO VERY TIRED Written by Donick Cary Dan Greaney Directed by Jim Reardon The Simpsons lose all their money and go on vacation to Japan. _________________________________________________________________ 1999-09-26 1101 #AABF23 Beyond Blunderdome FRIDAYS ARE NOT "PANTS OPTIONAL" Written by Mike Scully Directed by Steven Dean Moore Mel Gibson asks Homer to help him improve his latest film. _________________________________________________________________ 1999-10-03 1102 #AABF22 Brother's Little Helper PORK IS NOT A VERB Written by George Meyer Directed by Mark Kirkland After being medicated with Focusyn, Bart discovers a conspiracy involving Major League Baseball. _________________________________________________________________ 1999-10-24 1103 #AABF21 Guess Who's Coming to Criticize Dinner I AM NOT THE LAST DON Written by Al Jean Directed by Nancy Kruse Homer becomes a food critic. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 1999-10-31 1104 #BABF01 The Simpsons Halloween Special X (special opening) Directed by Pete Scary Spice Michels Three-tale Halloween episode: I Know What You Diddily-Iddly-Did Written by Donick Spooky (The Simpsons run Ned over and try to cover their tracks); Desperately Xeeking Xena Written by Terrifying Tim Long (Bart and Lisa get super powers); Life's a Glitch, Then You Die Written by Uh, an Ogre? (Y2K problem in Homer's computer causes a global disaster). _________________________________________________________________ 1999-11-07 1105 #AABF19 E-I-E-I-(Annoyed Grunt) I DID NOT WIN THE NOBEL FART PRIZE Written by Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Bob Anderson Homer grows "tomacco" after the Simpsons run from a man Homer challenged to a duel. _________________________________________________________________ 1999-11-14 1106 #BABF02 Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder I WON'T NOT USE NO DOUBLE NEGATIVES Written by Al Jean Directed by Mike B. Anderson Homer bowls a perfect game; he decides to spend more time with Maggie. Burns chokes Homer. Ron Howard chokes Homer. Beneath: Morlocks, C.H.U.D. and Mole men under Springfield. _________________________________________________________________ 1999-11-21 1107 #BABF03 Eight Misbehavin' INDIAN BURNS ARE NOT OUR CULTURAL HERITAGE Written by Matt Selman Directed by Steven Dean Moore Apu and her wife have eight kids. Homer: Mmm... Ovulicious... _________________________________________________________________ 1999-11-28 1108 #BABF05 Take My Wife, Sleaze I CAN'T SEE DEAD PEOPLE Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Neil Affleck The Hell's Satans motorcycle gang steals Marge. _________________________________________________________________ 1999-12-19 1109 #BABF07 Grift of the Magi I WILL NOT SELL MY KIDNEY ON eBay Written by Tom Martin Directed by Matthew Nastuk Christmas episode: Springfield Elementary financial problems are solved by a toy company manufacturing Funzo, a robotic toy that destroys other toys. I WILL NOT DO MATH IN CLASS [Lisa writes] _________________________________________________________________ 2000-01-09 1110 #BABF04 Little Big Mom I WILL NOT CREATE ART FROM DUNG Written by Carolyn Omine Directed by Mark Kirkland Marge breaks her leg on skying trip; Lisa tricks lazy Homer and Bart so they think they are lepers. Itchy & Scratchy in The Tears of a Clone _________________________________________________________________ 2000-01-16 1111 #BABF06 Faith Off I AM NOT THE LAST DON Written by Frank Mula Directed by Nancy Kruse Bart becomes a preacher with healing powers. Homer: Oh... One million times... Faith chokes Krusty. _________________________________________________________________ 2000-01-23 1112 #BABF08 The Mansion Family CLASS CLOWN IS NOT A PAID POSITION Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Michael Polcino The Simpsons take care of Burns' mansion; Homer makes a party on a boat in the international waters. Homer: Mmm... Danish... _________________________________________________________________ 2000-02-06 1113 #BABF09 Saddlesore Galactica SUBSTITUTE TEACHERS ARE NOT SCABS Written by Tim Long Directed by Lance Kramer The Simpsons get a horse that is winning horse races; Homer discovers that other jockeys are underground trolls. _________________________________________________________________ 2000-02-13 1114 #BABF10 Alone Again, Natura-Diddily MY SUSPENSION WAS NOT "MUTUAL" W r i t t e n b y I a n M a x t o n e - G r a h a m Directed by Jim Reardon Maude Flanders dies; Homer tries to find Ned a date. _________________________________________________________________ 2000-02-20 1115 #BABF11 Missionary: Impossible A BELCH IS NOT AN ORAL REPORT Written by Ron Hauge Directed by Steven Dean Moore Homer runs from PBS and becomes a missionary. _________________________________________________________________ 2000-02-27 1116 #BABF12 Pygmoelian DODGEBALL STOPS AT THE GYM DOOR Written by Larry Doyle Directed by Mark Kirkland Moe has his face improved with plastic surgery and gets a role in a TV show. _________________________________________________________________ 2000-03-19 1117 #BABF13 Bart to the Future "NON-FLAMMABLE" IS NOT A CHALLENGE Written by Dan Greaney Directed by Michael Marcantel Episode about the future: Bart has no money and causes trouble for President Lisa. Lisa chokes Bart: Why, you little... Secret Service agents choke Bart. _________________________________________________________________ 2000-04-09 1118 #BABF14 Days of Wine and D'oh'ses I WAS NOT TOUCHED "THERE" BY AN ANGEL Written by Deb Lacusta & Dan Castellaneta Directed by Neil Affleck Barney quits drinking and takes helicopter pilot lessons. Beneath: Nothing under Barney's room _________________________________________________________________ 2000-04-30 1119 #BABF16 Kill the Alligator and Run I AM NOT HERE ON A FARTBALL SCHOLARSHIP Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Jen Kamerman Due to Homer's mental problem, the Simpsons go to Florida, where they run over an alligator. _________________________________________________________________ 2000-05-07 1120 #BABF15 Last Tap Dance in Springfield I WILL NOT DANCE ON ANYONE'S GRAVE Written by Julie Thacker Directed by Nancy Kruse Frink helps Lisa with her step-dancing; Bart and Milhouse encounter a mountain lion in the shopping mall. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2000-05-14 1121 #BABF18 It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge I CANNOT HIRE A SUBSTITUTE STUDENT Written by Larry Doyle Directed by Steven Dean Moore Otto's girlfriend stays at the Simpsons after he runs away from their wedding, and Marge suspects that Becky wants to kill her. _________________________________________________________________ 2000-05-21 1122 #BABF19 Behind the Laughter I WILL NOT OBEY THE VOICES IN MY HEAD Written by Tim Long & George Meyer & Mike Scully & Matt Selman Directed by Mark Kirkland Special episode about the Simpsons with interviews with the members of the family as if they were not fictional characters. (Even stupider waste of time watching this one.) Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2000-11-01 1201 #BABF21 The Simpsons Halloween Special XI (special opening) Directed by Matt "Groening" Nastuk Three-tale Halloween episode: G-G-Ghost D-D-Dad Written by Rob Lazebnick (Homer becomes a ghost after choking himself to death); Scary Tales Can Come True Written by John Frink & Don Payne (a fairy tale with Bart as Hans and Lisa as Gretel); Night of the Dolphin Written by Carolyn Omine (the dolphins take over the world). _________________________________________________________________ 2000-11-05 1202 #BABF20 A Tale of Two Springfields I WILL NOT PLANT SUBLIMINAL MESSAGORES Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Shaun Cashman Springfield is divided into two parts when its citizens argue about the new system of telephone area codes. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2000-11-12 1203 #BABF17 Insane Clown Poppy I WILL NOT SURPRISE THE INCONTINENT Written by John Frink & Don Payne Directed by Bob Anderson Krusty meets his daughter and asks Homer to mentor him to be a better father; Homer gossips about it to the heaven. Sophie's mother chokes Krusty. _________________________________________________________________ 2000-11-19 1204 #CABF01 Lisa the Tree Hugger I AM NOT THE ACTING PRESIDENT Written by Matt Selman Directed by Steven Dean Moore Lisa protects an old tree from being cut down. Homer: Mmm... Doughnuts... Homer chokes Bart: Aww, you call that saying grace? _________________________________________________________________ 2000-11-26 1205 #CABF04 Homer vs. Dignity I WILL NOT SURPRISE THE INCONTINENT Written by Rob Lazebnik Directed by Neil Affleck Homer works as a source of laughter for Burns (including his neck being ran over by a bicycle and playing a panda). _________________________________________________________________ 2000-12-03 1206 #CABF02 The Computer Wore Menace Shoes I WILL ONLY PROVIDE A URINE SAMPLE WHEN ASKED Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer buys a computer and, as Mr. X, he creates a web site with rumors, one of which turns out to be true. Homer plays with Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2000-12-10 1207 #CABF03 The Great Money Caper THE NURSE IS NOT DEALING Written by Carolyn Omine Directed by Michael Polcino Bart and Homer devise a scam to get some money from various people, but they are both tricked as well. Homer removes an octopus key ring. _________________________________________________________________ 2000-12-17 1208 #CABF06 Skinner's Sense of Snow SCIENCE CLASS SHOULD NOT END IN TRAGEDY Written by Tim Long Directed by Lance Kramer Christmas episode: Skinner and students are imprisoned in Springfield Elementary due to an enormous amount of snow. I AIN'T NOT A DORKUS [Skinner writes] _________________________________________________________________ 2001-01-07 1209 #BABF22 HOMR NETWORK TV IS NOT DEAD Written by Al Jean Directed by Mike Anderson Homer becomes smart after a Crayon is removed from his brain, but he loses all his friends. Itchy & Scratchy From Here to Infirmity Homer: Wait a minute. Was that cat making out with that mouse? 'Cause if they were... Homer: Mmm... Hug... _________________________________________________________________ 2001-01-14 1210 #CABF05 Pokey Mom I WILL NOT "LET THE DOGS OUT" Written by Tom Martin Directed by Bob Anderson Marge vouches for a released prisoner with artistic skills; Homer heals spinal injuries with a trash can. _________________________________________________________________ 2001-02-04 1211 #CABF08 Worst Episode Ever I WILL NOT HIDE THE TEACHER'S MEDICATION Written by Larry Doyle Directed by Matthew Nastuk Bart and Milhouse are banned for life from Comic Book Guy's shop; they take care of the shop after CBG suffers a heart attack; they discover his secret video collection; CBG has a date with Skinner's mother. Beneath: All purpose meat under The London Broil _________________________________________________________________ 2001-02-11 1212 #CABF07 Tennis the Menace I WILL NOT PUBLISH THE PRINCIPAL'S CREDIT REPORT Written by Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Jen Kamerman Homer build a tennis court in the backyard; the Simpsons go to compete on a tournament. Marge to Lisa: Well, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2001-02-18 1213 #CABF10 Day of the Jackanapes THE HAMSTER DID NOT HAVE "A FULL LIFE" Written by Al Jean Directed by Michael Marcantel Sideshow Bob brainwashes Bart into killing Krusty for erasing all videotaped shows with Bob's appearance. Beneath: Nothing under Krusty's stage. _________________________________________________________________ 2001-02-25 1214 #CABF12 New Kids on the Blecch I WILL NOT BUY A PRESIDENTIAL PARDON Written by Tim Long Directed by Steven Dean Moore Bart becomes a member of a singing group Party Posse that spreads subliminal messages for people to join the Navy. In closing credits, 'N Sync are shown in the recording studio. _________________________________________________________________ 2001-03-04 1215 #CABF09 Hungry, Hungry Homer "TEMPTATION ISLAND" WAS NOT A SLEAZY PIECE OF CRAP Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Nancy Kruse Homer rolls the Rolodex of Duff owner and learns the Isotopes are about to move from Springfield to Albuquerque; he holds a hunger strike until Duff admits the truth. Homer chokes Bart. Homer charges at Milhouse: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2001-03-11 1216 #CABF11 Bye Bye Nerdy I WILL NOT SCARE THE VICE PRESIDENT Written by John Frink & Don Payne Directed by Lauren MacMullan Lisa discovers that bullies can smell the nerds. Itchy & Scratchy commercial _________________________________________________________________ 2001-04-01 1217 #CABF13 Simpson Safari I WILL NOT FLUSH EVIDENCE Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Mark Kirkland The Simpsons go to Africa; a nasty spider dissolves Homer's briefcase; they escape from a hippo and meet Joan Bushwell who uses chimps to dig in the diamond mines. Homer: Mmm... Turbulent... _________________________________________________________________ 2001-04-29 1218 #CABF14 Trilogy of Error FIRE IS NOT THE CLEANSER Written by Matt Selman Directed by Mike B. Anderson Three-tale episode with one story told from three different points: Homer's Day (Marge cuts Homer's thumb off); Lisa's Day (Lisa rushes with her linguistic robot to school); Bart's Day (Bart and Milhouse are involved in a fireworks affair). _________________________________________________________________ 2001-05-06 1219 #CABF15 I'm Goin' to Praiseland GENETICS IS NOT AN EXCUSE Written by Julie Thacker Directed by Chuck Sheetz Ned builds an amusement park dedicated to Maude where people expecience hallucinations caused by a leaking natural gas. _________________________________________________________________ 2001-05-13 1220 #CABF16 Children of a Lesser Clod TODAY IS NOT MOTHRA'S DAY Written by Al Jean Directed by Mike Polcino Homer breaks his leg, and he opens a daycare center. Homer: Please, let me win this, Lord, 'cause if you don't... Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2001-05-20 1221 #CABF17 Simpsons Tall Tales I SHOULD NOT BE TWENTY-ONE BY NOW Written by (Pt. 1) John Frink & Don Payne (Pt. 2) Bob Bendetson (Pt. 3) Matt Selman Directed by Bob Anderson Three-tale episode about Paul Bunyan (Homer), Connie Appleseed (Lisa) and Tom Sawyer (Bart) with Huckleberry Finn (Nelson). _________________________________________________________________ 2001-11-06 1301 #CABF19 The Simpsons Halloween Special XII (special opening) Written by (Pt. 1) Joel H. Cohen (Pt. 2) John Frink & Don Payne (Pt. 3) Carolyn Omine Directed by Jim Reardon Three-tale Halloween episode: Hex and the City (Homer is cursed by a gypsy); House of Whacks (Marge purchases a robotic house); Wiz Kids (Lisa and Bart are sorcery students). Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2001-11-11 1302 #CABF22 The Parent Rap NOBODY READS THESE ANYMORE Written by George Meyer & Mike Scully Directed by Mark Kirkland A new judge in town sentences Bart and Homer to be chained together. Homer to Marge: I'll medicate you... Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2001-11-18 1303 #CABF20 Homer the Moe A BURP IN A JAR IS NOT A SCIENCE PROJECT Written by Dana Gould Directed by Jen Kamerman Thanksgiving episode: Moe renovates his tavern; Homer opens his own bar in the garage. Bart phones Homer asking for Ollie Tabooger. _________________________________________________________________ 2001-12-02 1304 #CABF18 A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love FUN DOES NOT HAVE A SIZE Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Lance Kramer Burns falls in love with Snake's former girlfriend. Homer: Mmm... Pistol Whip... _________________________________________________________________ 2001-12-09 1305 #CABF21 The Blunder Years I AM NOT CHARLIE BROWN ON ACID Written by Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Steven Dean Moore After being mesmerized, Homer recalls a memory from his youth when he found a corpse. _________________________________________________________________ 2001-12-16 1306 #DABF02 She of Little Faith I DO NOT HAVE A CEREAL NAMED AFTER ME Written by Bill Freiberger Directed by Steven Dean Moore Christmas episode: Homer and Bart accidentally damage the church with their rocket; Burns turns the church into an advertisement house where Bart poses for funny photographs; Lisa becomes a Buddhist. Homer: Mmm... Pie pants... _________________________________________________________________ 2002-01-06 1307 #DABF01 Brawl in the Family (short opening) Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Matthew Nastuk Republicans revoke an environmental law; the Simpsons are involved in an act of domestic violence; Homer and Ned are approached by their wives from Las Vegas. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... Marge chokes Homer. _________________________________________________________________ 2002-01-20 1308 #DABF03 Sweets and Sour Marge (short opening) Written by Carolyn Omine Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer tries to set up a new world record (including playing a banjo with a cobra); Marge outlaws all sugar in Springfield; Homer participates in a plan to bring sugar back to town. Homer clibs up to Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2002-01-27 1309 #DABF05 Jaws Wired Shut (short opening) Written by Matt Selman Directed by Nancy Kruse Homer shatters his jaw; he becomes a new boring man (not like before when he tried to slaughter an ostrich); Marge attends a demolition derby, and Homer saves her with a donkey. Itchy & Scratchy in To Kill a Talking Bird _________________________________________________________________ 2002-02-10 1310 #DABF04 Half-Decent Proposal I WILL NOT BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS ME BUTTERFINGERS Written by Tim Long Directed by Lauren MacMullan Homer snores terribly; Artie Ziff proposes Homer one million dollars if he lets Marge spend a weekend with Artie; Homer leaves Marge and goes to work on oil fields. Homer to Artie: How much sex would be involved? Because if it's some... Homer chokes Bart: Just run the camera, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2002-02-17 1311 #DABF06 The Bart Wants What It Wants THE GIVING TREE IS NOT A CHUMP Written by John Frink & Don Payne Directed by Michael Polcino Greta Wolfcastle falls in love with Bart, but when he dumps her, she turns to Milhouse. Itchy & Scratchy in Circus of the Scars _________________________________________________________________ 2002-02-24 1312 #DABF07 The Lastest Gun in the West MAKING MILHOUSE CRY IS NOT A SCIENCE PROJECT Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Bob Anderson Bart runs away from a dog and meets a veteran of Western films. _________________________________________________________________ 2002-03-10 1313 #DABF09 The Old Man and the Key (short opening) Written by Jon Vitti Directed by Lance Kramer Grampa starts to drive (Homer's) car to get a woman from the Springfield Retirement Castle. Itchy & Scratchy on the radio _________________________________________________________________ 2002-03-17 1314 #DABF08 Tales from the Public Domain VAMPIRE IS NOT A CAREER CHOICE Written by (Pt. 1) Andrew Kreisberg (Pt. 2) Josh Lieb (Pt. 3) Matt Warburton Directed by Mike B. Anderson Three-tale episode: D'oh, Brother Where Art Thou? (Homer as Odysseus); Hot Child in the City (Lisa as Joan of Arc); Do the Bard, Man (Bart as Hamlet). Hamlet's father's ghost: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2002-03-31 1315 #DABF10 Blame It on Lisa (short opening) Written by Bob Bendetson Directed by Steven Dean Moore The Simpsons go to Brazilia; Homer is kidnapped and held for ransom. Itchy & Scratchy in Par for the Corpse Homer chokes Bart: Choke on your lies! _________________________________________________________________ 2002-04-07 1316 #DABF11 Weekend at Burnsie's (short opening) Written by Jon Vitti Directed by Michael Marcantel Homer uses marijuana to heal his eyes damaged by crows; Burns makes Homer his Vice President for he laughs at Burns' jokes. _________________________________________________________________ 2002-04-21 1317 #DABF12 Gump Roast (short opening) Written by Deb Lacusta & Dan Castellaneta Directed by Mark Kirkland Clip show: The Simpsons and Springfieldians with Kang and Kodos show warious bits from Homer's life. _________________________________________________________________ 2002-04-28 1318 #DABF13 I Am Furious (Yellow) (short opening) Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Chuck Sheetz Bart draws a comic book based on Homer; Homer tries to supress his anger. Homer to the screen: Why that little... Homer chokes Bart: Die, monster! Homer chokes Bart: That's so obvious. _________________________________________________________________ 2002-05-05 1319 #DABF14 The Sweetest Apu (short opening) Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Matthew Nastuk Frink finishes the Battle of Gettysburg simulation with a steam-powered super spider; Apu is infidel to his wife. Homer: Mmm... Caramel baloney... Homer: Yeah! 'Cause if they don't... _________________________________________________________________ 2002-05-12 1320 #DABF15 Little Girl in the Big Ten (short opening) Written by Jon Vitti Directed by Lauren MacMullan Lisa meets a pair of small-statue college students who think she is a college student, too; Bart is infected with a panda virus and has to be isolated in a plastic ball. Itchy & Scratchy in "Butter off Dead" _________________________________________________________________ 2002-05-19 1321 #DABF16 The Frying Game (short opening) Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Michael Polcino Homer is sentenced to community services for trying to kill a screaming caterpillar; he and Marge are suspected of killing and robbing an old lady. Big prisoner chokes Homer: I'll kill you! I killed them other people, and I'll kill you, too! _________________________________________________________________ 2002-05-22 1322 #DABF17 Papa's Got a Brand New Badge (short opening) Written by Dana Gould Directed by Pete Michels Homer forms SpringShield to protect the town from criminals. _________________________________________________________________ 2002-11-03 1401 #DABF19 The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror 13 (special opening) Written by (Pt. 1) Marc Wilmore (Pt. 2) Brian Kelley (Pt. 3) Kevin Curran Directed by David Silverman Three-tale Halloween episode: Send in the Clones (Homer creates clones of himself with a magic hammock); The Right to Keep and Bear Arms (dead gunmen attack Springfield); The Island of Dr. Hibbert (island of animal people with Bart as a spider). Homer chokes his clone: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2002-11-10 1402 #DABF22 How I Spent My Strummer Vacation (short opening) Written by Mike Scully Directed by Mike B. Anderson Homer spends a week on rock 'n' roll camp. Homer: Mmm... All access... _________________________________________________________________ 2002-11-17 1403 #DABF20 Bart vs. Lisa vs. the Third Grade FISH DO NOT LIKE COFFEE Written by Tim Long Directed by Steven Dean Moore The Simpsons buy a satellite dish; Bart and Lisa get lost on the trip to the Capital City. Homer: Mmm... Feed... Lisa chokes Bart. Bart chokes Lisa. Lisa chokes Bart: You die now. _________________________________________________________________ 2002-11-24 1404 #DABF18 Large Marge (short opening) Written by Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Jim Reardon Marge accidentally gets breast implants. Beneath: Hatching dinosaurs under master bedroom. _________________________________________________________________ 2002-12-01 1405 #DABF21 Helter Shelter MILHOUSE DID NOT TEST COOTIE POSITIVE Written by Brian Pollack & Mert Rich Directed by Mark Kirkland The Simpsons has termites in the house; they attend a reality show where they have to live according to the standards of the late 19th century. Homer chokes Bart: Argh! I'll teach you to whistle on the Sabbath! Bart sends Moe a telegram for Haywood U. Cuddlemee. _________________________________________________________________ 2002-12-15 1406 #EABF01 The Great Louse Detective (short opening) Written by John Frink & Don Payne Directed by Steven Dean Moore Sideshow Bob is brought from prison to help figure out who tries to kill Homer (Frank Grimes, Jr.). Homer: Mmn... Steamed gentile... _________________________________________________________________ 2003-01-05 1407 #EABF02 Special Edna (Love and Marking) (short opening) Written by Dennis Snee Directed by Bob Anderson Bart nominates Edna for the Teacher of the Year; the Simpsons go to Orlando, Florida. Homer: Mmm... Trophy... _________________________________________________________________ 2003-01-12 1408 #EABF03 The Dad Who Knew Too Little (short opening) Written by Matt Selman Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer hires a private eye to learn more about Lisa; Homer and Lisa are on the run suspected of devastating a research lab. Homer: Mmm... McNuggets... _________________________________________________________________ 2003-02-02 1409 #EABF04 Strong Arms of the Ma [300th episode] THIS SCHOOL DOES NOT NEED A "REGIME CHANGE" Written by Carolyn Omine Directed by Pete Michels Marge is afraid of the open spaces after being robbed; she gains strength by weight-lifting and catches the robber; after not winning a bodybuilding competition, Marge massacres Moe's tavern. Homer from the walkie-talkie: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2003-02-09 1410 #EABF06 Pray Anything SPONGEBOB IS NOT A CONTRACEPTIVE Written by Sam O'Neal & Neal Boushell Directed by Michael Polcino The Simpsons get the Springfield church after Homer breaks his leg in front of it; Lovejoy rescues Springfield from the flood. Homer: Mmm... Far-fetched... Homer: Vengeful God, loving God. Vengeful God, loving God. Vengeful God, loving God. Vengeful God, loving God. _________________________________________________________________ 2003-02-16 1411 #EABF05 Barting Over 300th EPISODE I WILL NOT [Bart chops the blackboard to pieces] Written by Andrew Kreisberg Directed by Matthew Nastuk Bart leaves the family after learning Homer deprived him of the money from an advertisement. Bart chokes Homer. Homer to the lawyer: Why, you little... Homer to the stenographer: Why, you little... Homer to Bart: Why, you little... Homer to the judge: Why, you little... Homer: Mmm... Garnish... Homer to Marge: I'll show you worse. Homer chokes Bart: I paid for your splendor, you... _________________________________________________________________ 2003-02-16 1412 #EABF07 I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can 301th EPISODE (short opening) Written by Kevin Curran Directed by Nancy Kruse Lisa attends a spelling bee. _________________________________________________________________ 2003-03-02 1413 #EABF08 A Star is Born-Again (short opening) Written by Brian Kelley Directed by Michael Marcantel Ned dates a movie star. _________________________________________________________________ 2003-03-09 1414 #EABF09 Mr. Spritz Goes to Washington (short opening) Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Lance Kramer The Simpsons are tormented by aeroplanes flying over their house; Republicans want Krusty to run for a congressman. Homer: Mmm... Promo... _________________________________________________________________ 2003-03-16 1415 #EABF10 C.E.D'oh (short opening) Written by Dana Gould Directed by Mike B. Anderson Homer finds out that the real owner of the power plant is a canary; he takes over the power plant and fires Burns; Burns tries to immure Homer. Itchy & Scratchy in Bleeder of the Pack Homer: Mmm... Funky... Homer chokes Bart: You little... _________________________________________________________________ 2003-03-30 1416 #EABF11 Scuse Me While I Miss the Sky (short opening) Written by Dan Greaney & Allen Glazier Directed by Steven Dean Moore A documentary is being made about Springfield Elementary; Springfield is flooded with permanent light; Bart tries to steal a decoration from Fat Tony's car. Homer: Mmm... Bad eggs... _________________________________________________________________ 2003-04-13 1417 #EABF12 Three Gays of the Condo (short opening) Written by Matt Warburton Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer thinks he ruined Marge's life and goes to live with two men. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2003-04-27 1418 #EABF13 Dude, Where's My Ranch? (short opening) Written by Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Chris Clements Homer composes a Christmas song; to escape its repeating, the Simpsons go to a ranch, where Homer and Bart fight against beavers. _________________________________________________________________ 2003-05-04 1419 #EABF14 Old Yeller-Belly MY PEN IS NOT A BOOGER LAUNCHER Written by John Frink & Don Payne Directed by Bob Anderson Snowball II saves Homer from a burning treehouse; Santa Little's Helper becomes a new Duff mascot. Mailman: "Grow a mustache," says the wife. "You'll look handsome," says the wife. Homer chokes Santa's Little Helper: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2003-05-11 1420 #EABF15 Brake My Wife, Please (short opening) Written by Tim Long Directed by Pete Michels Homer loses his driver's license and enjoys walking; he thinks Marge hates him and makes a party for her. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2003-05-18 1421 #EABF16 The Bart of War SANDWICHES SHOULD NOT CONTAIN SAND Written by Marc Wilmore Directed by Michael Polcino The Pre-Teen Braves fight with the Cavalry Kids. _________________________________________________________________ 2003-05-18 1422 #EABF17 Moe Baby Blues (short opening) Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Lauren MacMullan Moe takes care of Maggie. _________________________________________________________________ 2003-11-02 1501 #EABF21 Treehouse of Horror XIV (special opening) Written by Triple Admiral John Swartzwelder Directed by Steve Dean Morbid Three-tale Halloween episode: Reaper Madness (Homer becomes Grim Reaper); Frinkenstein (Frink reanimates his father); Stop the World I Want to Goof Off (Bart and Milhouse stop time). _________________________________________________________________ 2003-11-09 1502 #EABF18 My Mother the Carjacker (short opening) Written by Michael Price Directed by Nancy Kruse Grandma Simpsons returns, still chased by the police. Grandma chokes Homer who chokes Bart. _________________________________________________________________ 2003-11-16 1503 #EABF20 The President Wore Pearls (short opening) Written by Dana Gould Directed by Mike B. Anderson Musical episode: Lisa becomes the class President. _________________________________________________________________ 2003-11-23 1504 #EABF22 The Regina Monologues (short opening) Written by John Swartzwelder Directed by Mark Kirkland The Simpsons go to England where Homer hits Queen's coach. Abbey: Mmm... Bacon... _________________________________________________________________ 2003-11-30 1505 #EABF19 The Fat and the Furriest (short opening) Written by JoelH. Cohen Directed by Matthew Nastuk Homer befriends a bear. Homer: Mmm... Moses... Homer chokes Bart: Choke on your candor! _________________________________________________________________ 2003-12-07 1506 #FABF01 Today, I am a Klown OVER FORTY & SINGLE IS NOT FUNNY Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Nancy Kruse Krusty decides to have bar mitzva; Homer hosts his own talk-show. Beneath: Nothing in the bathroom wall. Homer chokes Santa's Little Helper: You broke our deal! We had an oral contract! Itchy & Scratchy: A Briss Before Dying Homer chokes Bart: I'll audience you! _________________________________________________________________ 2003-12-14 1507 #FABF02 'Tis The Fifteenth Season (short opening) Written by Michael Price Directed by Steven Dean Moore Christmas episode: Homer buys himself a talking astrolabe; he decides to be a better man and steals presents from all citizens. Homer chokes Bart superimposed as flowers. _________________________________________________________________ 2004-01-04 1508 #FABF03 Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens and Gays (short opening) Written by Jon Vitti Directed by Bob Anderson Springfieldians are against children. _________________________________________________________________ 2004-01-11 1509 #FABF04 I, (Annoyed Grunt)-Bot (short opening) Written by Dan Greaney & Allen Glazier Directed by Lauren MacMullan Homer fights as a robot controlled by Bart; Snowball II is killed, and Lisa gets a new cat from the Crazy Cat Lady. _________________________________________________________________ 2004-01-25 1510 #FABF05 Diatribe of a Mad Housewife (short opening) Written by Robin J. Stein Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer buys an ambulance car; Marge writes a novel. Lisa reads: "Mmm... Blow holes..." _________________________________________________________________ 2004-02-08 1511 #FABF06 Margical History Tour (short opening) Written by Brian Kelley Directed by Mike B. Anderson Three-tale episode about Henry VIII (Homer), Sacagawea (Lisa) and Mozart (Bart). Henry VIII chokes the dream son: Why, you little... Itchy & Scratchy puppet show _________________________________________________________________ 2004-02-15 1512 #FABF07 Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore (short opening) Written by Julie Chambers & David Chambers Directed by Matthew Nastuk Milhouse moves away; Bart and Lisa become the best friends; Homer becomes a beggar. Itchy & Scratchy in Moo Goo Gai Pain _________________________________________________________________ 2004-02-22 1513 #FABF09 Smart & Smarter (short opening) Written by Carolyn Omine Directed by Steven Dean Moore Maggie appears to be smarter than Lisa. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2004-03-14 1514 #FABF08 The Ziff Who Came to Dinner I WILL NOT SPECULATE ON HOW HOT TEACHER USED TO BE Written by Deb Lacusta & Dan Castellaneta Directed by Nancy Kruse Homer takes children to see "Re-Deadening"; Homer wins stocks of Artie Ziff's company and is put behind bars instead of him. Bart: Daddy's on fire. Daddy's not on fire. Daddy's on fire. Daddy's not on fire. Daddy's on fire... Bart chokes himself: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2004-03-21 1515 #FABF10 Co-Dependent's Day (short opening) Written by Matt Warburton Directed by Bob Anderson Homer crashes his car driving drunk and frames Marge for it. _________________________________________________________________ 2004-03-28 1516 #FABF11 The Wandering Juvie (short opening) Written by John Frink & Don Payne Directed by Lauren MacMullan Bart with a fellow inmate escape from prison. Itchy & Scratchy in "The Battle of Slaughter-Loo" _________________________________________________________________ 2004-04-18 1517 #FABF12 My Big Fat Geek Wedding (short opening) Written by Kevin Curran Directed by Mark Kirkland Edna cancels her wedding with Skinner. _________________________________________________________________ 2004-04-25 1518 #FABF14 Catch 'Em If You Can (short opening) Written by Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Matthew Nastuk Bart and Lisa chase Homer and Marge who want to spend their second honeymoon. Homer to Grampa: I'll right side you! Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2004-05-02 1519 #FABF15 Simple Simpson (short opening) Written by Jon Vitti Directed by Jim Reardon Homer becomes a masked vigilante Pie Man. _________________________________________________________________ 2004-05-09 1520 #FABF13 The Way We Weren't (short opening) Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Mike B. Anderson Homner and Marge tell the story about their first kiss. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... Young Marge phones young Moe asking for Elvis Jagger Abdul-Jabbar _________________________________________________________________ 2004-05-16 1521 #FABF17 Bart-Mangled Banner (short opening) Written by John Frink Directed by Steven Dean Moore Bart accidentally defames U.S. flag. Homer: Bart, pass the ketchup... BAAART, PASS THE KETCHUP!!! Homer chokes himself. _________________________________________________________________ 2004-05-23 1522 #FABF18 Fraudcast News (short opening) Written by Don Payne Directed by Bob Anderson Burns buys all media enterprises in Springfield except Lisa's newsletter. Homer chokes Bart: Per our agreement! Itchy & Scratchy in What's Nuked, Pussycat? _________________________________________________________________ 2004-11-07 1601 #FABF23 Treehouse of Horror XV (special opening) Keepin' It Kodos [aliens cook the Simpsons] Directed By Slarg Silverman Written By Glekknor L. Brooks Written by Bill Odenkirk Directed by The Tell-Tale Silverman Three-tale Halloween episode: The Ned Zone (Ned sees into the future); Four Beheadings and a Funeral (Lisa solves Jack the Ripper case); In the Belly of the Boss (Simpsons enter Burns' intestines). Flanders: Must... Kill... Best friend... _________________________________________________________________ 2004-11-14 1602 #FABF20 All's Fair in Oven War (short opening) Written by Matt Selman Directed by Mark Kirkland Bart behaves like a Playdude founder; Marge enters a cooking contest; Homer tells (and scares) Bart about biology; James Caan is massacred by Cletus' gunmen. _________________________________________________________________ 2004-11-21 1603 #FABF19 Sleeping with the Enemy (short opening) Written by Jon Vitti Directed by Lauren MacMullan Nelson lives at the Simpsons and meets his father. Homer chokes Bart: Well, take note of this. _________________________________________________________________ 2004-12-05 1604 #FABF22 She Used to Be My Girl POKING A DEAD RACOON IS NOT RESEARCH Written by Tim Long Directed by Matt Nastuk Marge meets her friend, a news reporter. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... Need a reason for strangling, do ya? Homer chokes Bart: Pretend to care! _________________________________________________________________ 2004-12-12 1605 #FABF21 Fat Man and Little Boy (short opening) Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Mike B. Anderson Bart creates T-shirts with slogans. _________________________________________________________________ 2005-01-16 1606 #FABF16 Midnight Rx (short opening) Written by Marc Wilmore Directed by Nancy Kruse Homer sands off his fingerprints and smuggles drugs from Canada. _________________________________________________________________ 2005-01-30 1607 #GABF01 Mommie Beerest (short opening) Written by Michael Price Directed by Mark Kirkland Health inspector dies at Moe's; Marge becomes a co-owner of Moe's Tavern; Moe tries to steal Marge from Homer. _________________________________________________________________ 2005-02-06 1608 #GABF02 Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass (short opening) Written by Tim Long Directed by Steven Dean Moore Homer teaches football players showmanship; Ned makes a movie with a biblical theme. _________________________________________________________________ 2005-02-13 1609 #GABF03 Pranksta Rap (short opening) Written by Matt Selman Directed by Mike B. Anderson Bart joins a rap concert and pretends he has been kidnapped. Homer chases Santa's Little Helper: Lousy American-made dog. _________________________________________________________________ 2005-02-20 1610 #GABF04 There's Something About Marrying (short opening) Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Nancy Kruse Homer becomes a minister marrying people. Homer chokes Bart: Why you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2005-03-06 1611 #GABF05 On a Clear Day I Can't See My Sister BEER IN A MILK CARTON IS NOT MILK Written by Jeff Westbrook Directed by Bob Anderson Lisa gets a restraining order against Bart. _________________________________________________________________ 2005-03-13 1612 #GABF06 Goo Goo Gai Pan (short opening) Written by Dana Gould Directed by Lance Kramer The Simpsons go to China where Selma wants to adopt a child. Homer chokes a panda: Why you little... I'll endanger you! Mother panda chokes Homer. In closing credits, David Silverman shows how to draw Bart. _________________________________________________________________ 2005-03-20 1613 #GABF07 Mobile Homer (short opening) Written by Tim Long Directed by Raymond S. Persi Homer tries to kill nasty spiders in the garage; Marge tries to save some money for the case her big tuna turns cadaver; Homer buys a motor home. Homer: Stupid spider! Afraid of dying? Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2005-04-03 1614 #GABF08 The Seven-Beer Snitch (short opening) Written by Bill Odenkirk Directed by Matthew Nastuk Burns turns a concert hall into a prison; Snowbal II finds a new family; Homer is imprisoned and becomes an informant. _________________________________________________________________ 2005-04-17 1615 #GABF12 Future-Drama [350th episode] (short opening) Written by Matt Selman Directed by Mike B. Anderson Episode about the future: Bart and Lisa as teenagers. Future Lisa chokes future Bart: You've wrecked my life! Lisa chokes Bart: You're gonna wreck my life! Future Homer chokes future Krusty: I'll kill you! _________________________________________________________________ 2005-05-01 1616 #GABF10 Don't Fear the Roofer 350th EPISODE, MAN! (short opening) Written by Kevin Curran Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer befriends a roofer no one believe he exists. _________________________________________________________________ 2005-05-01 1617 #GABF11 The Heartbroke Kid (short opening) Written by Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Steven Dean Moore "Three Weeks Later", Bart is overweighted from eating food from the school vendor machines. Itchy & Scratchy: Kitty-Kill Condition Beneath: Nothing under Serenity Ranch floor. _________________________________________________________________ 2005-05-08 1618 #GABF13 A Star is Torn (short opening) Written by Carolyn Omine Directed by Nancy Kruse Lisa enters a singing competition. Homer chokes Squeaky-Voiced Teen: You little... _________________________________________________________________ 2005-05-08 1619 #GABF14 Thank God It's Doomsday (short opening) Written by Don Payne Directed by Michael Marcantel Homer predicts the end of the world; he has a vision that he went into the Heaven and prevented the Apocalypse. _________________________________________________________________ 2005-05-15 1620 #GABF15 Home Away from Homer A BOOGER IS NOT A BOOKMARK Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Bob Anderson Ned rents a room to two students who secretly broadcast on a web camera; the Flanders move away after Homer humiliates Ned. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... I'll teach you... To have a libido... Homer: Mmm... Soggy bread... _________________________________________________________________ 2005-05-15 1621 #GABF09 The Father, the Son, & the Holy Guest Star (short opening) Written by Matt Warburton Directed by Michael Polcino Bart is expelled from the school after Willie ruins the Medieval Faiyieyre, and he enters a Catholic school. _________________________________________________________________ 2005-09-11 1701 #GABF18 The Bonfire of the Manatees DOES ANY KID STILL DO THIS ANYMORE? Written by Dan Greaney Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer, Marge and walruses. _________________________________________________________________ 2005-09-18 1702 #GABF16 The Girl Who Slept Too Little (short opening) Written by John Frink Directed by Raymond S. Persi The Springfield Cemetery is moved next to the Simpsons; Lisa spends a night there dreaming about monsters that include Bart as a spider. Burning worker: "Come home from Iraq", my wife says. "Fallujah's too dangerous", my wife says. Younger Homer chokes little Bart: Why, you very little... Itchy & Scratchy _________________________________________________________________ 2005-09-25 1703 #GABF19 Milhouse of Sand and Fog (short opening) Written by Patric M. Verrone Directed by Steve Dean Moore Bart and Milhouse divide Bart's parents while trying to divide Milhouse's parents. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2005-11-06 1704 #GABF17 Treehouse of Horror XVI (special opening) Written by Marc Will Killmore Directed by Godzilla vs. Silverman Three-tale Halloween episode: B.I. Bartificial Intelligence (Bart is replaced by a robot); Survival of the Fattest (Burns hunts Homer and others); I've Grown a Costume on Your Face (people become their costumes). Homer chokes David: Why, you metal... _________________________________________________________________ 2005-11-13 1705 #GABF20 Marge's Son Poisoning (short opening) Written by Daniel Chun Directed by Mike B. Anderson Marge buys a bicycle for two; Homer becomes an arm-wrestler. Homer to the phone: I'll show you who's a recorded message! _________________________________________________________________ 2005-11-20 1706 #GABF21 See Homer Run (short opening) Written by Stephanie Gillis Directed by Nancy Kruse Homer runs for the Mayor in a salamander costume. _________________________________________________________________ 2005-11-27 1707 #GABF22 The Last of the Red Hat Mamas (short opening) Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Matthew Nastuk Milhouse teaches Lisa Italian language; Marge befriends a group of women planning to rob Burns. _________________________________________________________________ 2005-12-11 1708 #HABF02 The Italian Bob (short opening) Written by John Frink Directed by Mark Kirkland The Simpsons go to Italy to get Burns' car where they meet the Mayor Sideshow Bob. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2005-12-18 1709 #HABF01 Simpsons Christmas Stories (short opening) Written by Don Payne Directed by Steven Dean Moore Three-tale Christmas episode: The First D'oh-El (Bart as the Nazarene); I Saw Grampa Cussing Santa Claus; The Nutcracker... Sweet (Homer forgets to get a present for Marge). Joseph (Homer) charges at the Nazarene (Bart): Why, you little... Grampa to Lisa: You little... _________________________________________________________________ 2006-01-08 1710 #HABF03 Homer's Paternity Coot I AM NOT SMARTER THAN THE PRESIDENT Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Mike B. Anderson Homer meets a man he considers to be his real father. The pirate captain chokes a sailor: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2006-01-29 1711 #HABF04 We're on the Road to D'ohwhere TEACHER WAS NOT DUMPED-- IT WAS MUTUAL Written by Kevin Curran Directed by Nancy Kruse Homer tries to drive Bart into a military camp. Homer: Mmm... Snickers pie! Homer after Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2006-02-26 1712 #HABF05 My Fair Laddy (short opening) Written by Michael Price Directed by Bob Anderson Lisa tries to make Willie a gentleman. _________________________________________________________________ 2006-03-12 1713 #HABF06 The Seemingly Never-Ending Story (short opening) Written by Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Raymond Persi Lisa tells Homer a story about Burns who found a golden treasure hidden by Moe who stole it from Snake. Homer reaches after Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2006-03-19 1714 #HABF07 Bart Has Two Mommies (short opening) Written by Dana Gould Directed by Mike Marcantel Marge babysits Ned's children; Bart is kidnapped by a chimp. _________________________________________________________________ 2006-03-26 1715 #HABF08 Homer Simpson, This is Your Wife I WILL NOT LAMINATE DOG DOO Written by Ricky Gervais Directed by Matthew Nastuk The Simpsons temporarily change Marge for a wife from another family. Itchy & Scratchy _________________________________________________________________ 2006-04-02 1716 #HABF09 Million Dollar Abie I WILL NOT FLIP THE CLASSROOM UPSIDE DOWN [upside down] Written by Tim Long Directed by Steven Dean Moore Grampa acts as a toreador. _________________________________________________________________ 2006-04-09 1717 #HABF10 Kiss Kiss, Bang Bangalore (short opening) Written by Dan Castellaneta & Deb Lacusta Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer goes to India to supervise the outsourced power plant; Patty and Selma kidnap Richard Dean Anderson. _________________________________________________________________ 2006-04-23 1718 #HABF11 The Wettest Stories Ever Told (short opening) Written by Jeff Westbrook Directed by Mike B. Anderson Three-tale episode: Mayflower Madman; The Whine-Bar Sea (the mutiny on Bounty); Watership D'ohn (The Neptune Adventure). Homer chokes Bart: Why, thee little... _________________________________________________________________ 2006-04-30 1719 #HABF12 Girls Just Want to Have Sums (short opening) Written by Matt Selman Directed by Nancy Kruse The Simpsons visit Itchy & Scratchy Musical; the Springfield Elementary is divided between boy's and girl's areas; Lisa pretends to be a boy student so she can study mathematics. _________________________________________________________________ 2006-05-07 1720 #HABF13 Regarding Margie I WILL NOT LEAK THE PLOT OF THE MOVIE Written by Marc Wilmore Directed by Michael Polcino After having an amnesia, Marge remembers everyone except Homer. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2006-05-14 1721 #HABF14 The Monkey Suit JE NE PARLE PAS FRANCAIS [I do not speak French] Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Raymond S. Persi The theory of evolution is banned in Springfield in favor of the myth of creation. _________________________________________________________________ 2006-05-21 1722 #HABF16 Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play HAVE A GREAT SUMMER, EVERYONE Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Bob Anderson Homer and Marge are marriage counselors for a baseball player and his wife. _________________________________________________________________ 2006-09-10 1801 #HABF15 The Mook, the Chef, the Wife, and Her Homer (short opening) Written by Bill Odenkirk Directed by Michael Marcantel The Simpsons befriend Fat Tony and his son Michael. _________________________________________________________________ 2006-09-17 1802 #HABF18 Jazzy and the Pussycats (short opening) Written by Daniel Chun Directed by Steven Dean Moore Bart plays drums for jazz sessions. _________________________________________________________________ 2006-09-24 1803 #HABF20 Please Homer, Don't Hammer 'Em (short opening) Written by Matt Warburton Directed by Mike B. Anderson Co-Directed by Ralph Sosa Homer pretends to be a carpenter while Marge does all the work. A BABY BEAT ME UP [Bart makes Skinner to write it on blackboard] _________________________________________________________________ 2006-11-05 1804 #HABF17 Treehouse of Horror XVII (special opening) Written by Peter Gaffney Directed by David "Tubatron" Silverman & Malicious Matthew C. Faughnan Three-tale Halloween episode: Married to the Blob (Homer becomes an all-eating giant); You Gotta Know When to Golem (Bart reanimates a golem); The Day the Earth Looked Stupid (War of the Worlds hysteria). _________________________________________________________________ 2006-11-12 1805 #HABF21 G.I.(Annoyed Grunt) WE ARE NOT ALL NAKED UNDER OUR CLOTHES Written by Daniel Chun Directed by Nancy Kruse Homer joins the Army. _________________________________________________________________ 2006-11-19 1806 #HABF19 Moe'N'a Lisa (short opening) Written by Matt Warburton Directed by Mark Kirkland Moe becomes a poet. _________________________________________________________________ 2006-11-26 1807 #HABF22 Ice Cream of Margie (with the Light Blue Hair) (short opening) Written by Carolyn Omine Directed by Matthew Nastuk Homer buys an ice cream truck; Marge makes art from popsicle sticks. _________________________________________________________________ 2006-12-10 1808 #JABF02 The Haw-Hawked Couple (short opening) Written by Matt Selman Directed by Chris Clements Bart befriends Nelson; Homer reads Lisa fairy tales. Beneath: Nothing under Springfield Elementary kitchen. _________________________________________________________________ 2006-12-17 1809 #JABF01 Kill Gil, Volumes I & II (snowy opening) FRANKINCENSE IS NOT A MONSTER Written by Jeff Westbrook Directed by Bob Anderson Christman episode: The Simpsons invite Gil into their house. Beneath: Mice dancing under master bedroom. _________________________________________________________________ 2007-01-07 1810 #JABF03 The Wife Aquatic (short opening) Written by Kevin Curran Directed by Lance Kramer The Simpsons go to Barnacle Bay. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2007-01-28 1811 #JABF05 Revenge is a Dish Best Served Three Times (short opening) Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Michael Polcino Three-tale episode: The Count of Monte Fatso (Homer as Edmond Dantes); Revenge of the Geeks (Milhouse misuses a nerdy weapon); Bartman Begins (Bart as Batman). This episode is dedicated to all who died in the "Star Wars" films Darth Vader Darth Maul Greedo Uncle Owen Storm Trooper #5 Jango Fett General Grievous (Droid) Storm Trooper #22 Dak Obi Wan (Ben) Kenobi Whoever Jimmy Smits Played Hutt, Jabba The Sy Snoodles Unfortunately, Not Jar-Jar Binks Everyone on Both Death Stars When They Blew Up _________________________________________________________________ 2007-02-11 1812 #JABF04 Little Big Girl (short opening) Written by Don Payne Directed by Raymond Persi Lisa pretends to have Native American roots; Bart extinguishes a large fire and gets a driver's license. Bart: Clean, dirty. Clean, dirty. Clean, dirty. SO LONG SUCKERS [Bart writes] _________________________________________________________________ 2007-02-18 1813 #JABF07 Springfield Up (short opening) Written by Matt Warburton Directed by Chuck Sheetz A documentary-maker returns to Springfield to see how the people live after twenty years. _________________________________________________________________ 2007-03-04 1814 #JABF09 Yokel Chords (short opening) Written by Michael Price Directed by Susie Dietter Lisa teaches Cletus' children. _________________________________________________________________ 2007-03-11 1815 #JABF08 Rome-Old and Juli-Eh (short opening) Written by Daniel Chun Directed by Nancy Kruse Grampa marries Selma; postal workers wage a war against Bart and Lisa in their cardboard castle. _________________________________________________________________ 2007-03-25 1816 #JABF06 Homerazzi GLOBAL WARMING DID NOT EAT MY HOMEWORK Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Matthew Nastuk Homer hunts celebrities with a camera. Homer chokes a deer. _________________________________________________________________ 2007-04-22 1817 #JABF10 Marge Gamer (short opening) Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Bob Anderson Marge plays a fantasy computer game; Homer is a referee in soccer games. Beneath: Nothing in the wall of Moe's Tavern. _________________________________________________________________ 2007-04-29 1818 #JABF11 The Boys of Bummer (short opening) Written by Michael Price Directed by Rob Oliver Homer sells his and Marge's mattress to Lovejoy; Bart tries to win the same baseball game over and over again. _________________________________________________________________ 2007-05-06 1819 #JABF13 Crook and Ladder I WILL NOT LOOK UP WHAT TEACHER MAKES Written by Bill Odenkirk Directed by Lance Kramer Maggie goes extremely annoying insane after Marge throws away her pacifier; Homer becomes somnambulant and massacres the whole fire department; Homer and his friends secretly steal things while fighting fires. Homer: (angrily) Mood swings?! (pleased) Mood swings. (crying) Mood swings! (firmly) Mood swings? (insulted) Mood swings! (afraid) Mood swings! (suspiciously) Mood swings! (singing) Mood swings! (repeating) Mood swings, mood swings! (shouting) Mood swings! Homer: Mmm... Soggy, smoky hero... _________________________________________________________________ 2007-05-13 1820 #JABF12 Stop! Or My Dog Will Shoot PEARLS ARE NOT OUSTER BARF Written by John Frink Directed by Matthew Faughnan Santa's Little Helper saves Homer from a corn maze and becomes a member of Springfield Police Department; Bart gets a python. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... I'll teach you to trick your sister! Strangles chokes Homer. _________________________________________________________________ 2007-05-20 1821 #JABF14 24 Minutes ("24"-like opening) Written by Billy Kimball & Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Raymond Persi Counter Truancy Unit tries to prevent local bullies from detonating a stinking bomb. Bart introduces himself to Jack Bauer over the phone as Ahmed Adoodie. _________________________________________________________________ 2007-05-20 1822 #JABF15 You Kent Always Say What You Want [400th episode) 20 YEARS AGO... [tagline] ("Family Portrait" as opening] Written by Tim Long Directed by Matthew Nastuk Kent Brockman is fired after he swears on TV when Homer spills a hot coffee on him; Republicans want him back. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... Itchy & Scratchy Homer: Woo-hoo! Liberals... Woo-hoo! Liberals... Woo-hoo! Liberals... Woo-hoo! Liberals... Woo-hoo! Liberals... Woo... _________________________________________________________________ 2007-07-21 The Simpsons Movie [does not count as a Simpsons episode] (special opening) I WILL NOT ILLEGALLY DOWNLOAD THIS MOVIE. directed by David Silverman Screenplay by James L. Brooks Matt Groening Al Jean Ian Maxtone-Graham George Meyer David Mirkin Mike Reiss Mike Scully Matt Selman John Swartzwelder Jon Vitti Springfield is trapped under a giant glass dome; the Simpsons escape to Alaska, but they go back to save Springfield from destruction, except Homer. To be continued Immediately; Homer and Bart save Springfield. Itchy & Scratchy movie Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little ... I'll teach you to laugh at something that's funny! Bart expects he is about to be choken. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little ... I'll strangle-angle you! Bart tells Cargill about the Treasure of Imawiener. _________________________________________________________________ 2007-09-23 1901 #JABF20 He Loves to Fly and He D'ohs (special opening - Springfield after the dome destruction) I WILL NOT WAIT 20 YEARS TO MAKE ANOTHER MOVIE Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer enjoys flying a private aeroplane. _________________________________________________________________ 2007-09-30 1902 #JABF18 The Homer of Seville THE WALL STREET JOURNAL IS BETTER THAN EVER Written by Carolyn Omine Directed by Michael Polcino Homer becomes an opera singer; he finds a cobra in cornflakes from a crazy admirer. Director chokes Homer: It's an opera, and you are in it! _________________________________________________________________ 2007-10-07 1903 #JABF21 Midnight Towboy (short opening) Written by Stephanie Gillis Directed by Matthew Nastuk Homer tows vehicles in Springfield (including a helicopter). _________________________________________________________________ 2007-10-14 1904 #JABF19 I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings I AM NOT AN FDIC-INSURED BANK Written by Dana Gould Directed by Bob Anderson Marge promises to visit an armed robber in penitentiary. Homer to the brain: Why, you little... Itchy & Scratchy: The Un-Natural _________________________________________________________________ 2007-11-04 1905 #JABF16 Treehouse of Horror XVIII (special opening) Written by Marc Wilmore Directed by Chuck "Bloody" Sheetz Three-tale Halloween episode: E.T. Go Home (Bart befriends an alien); Mr. & Mrs. Simpson (Homer and Marge are assassins); Heck House (Ned presents his own vision of Hell). Homer: Mmm... Developed by... _________________________________________________________________ 2007-11-11 1906 #JABF22 Little Orphan Millie THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN iPODDY Written by Mick Kelly Directed by Lance Kramer Milhouse's parents are presumed dead. _________________________________________________________________ 2007-11-18 1907 #JABF17 Husbands and Knives THE PILGRIMS WERE NOT ILLEGAL ALIENS Written by Matt Selman Directed by Nancy Kruse Marge opens a fitness center; Homer is afraid Marge will leave him. Homer: Mmm... Pork pie... _________________________________________________________________ 2007-11-25 1908 #KABF01 Funeral for a Fiend (short opening) Written by Michael Price Directed by Rob Oliver Bart is held responsible for the death of Sideshow Bob. Itchy & Scratchy in Spherical on 34th Street _________________________________________________________________ 2007-12-16 1909 #KABF02 Eternal Moonshine of the Simpson Mind THE CAPITAL OF MONTANA IS NOT "HANNAH" Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Chuck Sheetz Homer tries to find out why he has had his yesterday's memories erased. Homer chokes Bart: I'll teach you to beat up yester-me! _________________________________________________________________ 2008-01-06 1910 #KABF03 E Pluribus Wiggum TEACHER DID NOT PAY TOO MUCH FOR HER CONDO Written by Michael Price Directed by Michael Polcino Republicans want to nominate Ralph for President. Beneath: Gas pipe under fast food area. _________________________________________________________________ 2008-01-27 1911 #KABF04 That '90s Show (short opening) Written by Matt Selman Directed by Mark Kirkland Marge and Homer tell the story of Marge on college. _________________________________________________________________ 2008-02-17 1912 #KABF05 Love, Springfieldian Style (short opening) Written by Don Payne Directed by Raymond Saharath Persi Three-tale Valentine episode: Bonnie and Clyde (Marge and Homer); Shady and The Vamp (Homer-like and Marge-like dogs); Sid Vicious and Nancy (Nelson and Lisa). _________________________________________________________________ 2008-03-02 1913 #KABF06 The Debarted THE ART TEACHER IS FAT, NOT PREGNANT Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Matthew Nastuk Skinner uses a new student to infiltrate Bart's gang. Beneath: Nothing under Springfield Elementary stage. _________________________________________________________________ 2008-03-09 1914 #KABF07 Dial 'N' for Nerder (short opening) Written by Carolyn Omine & William Wright Directed by Bob Anderson Bart and Lisa think they killed Martin; Marge thinks Homer cheats on her with his new diet. _________________________________________________________________ 2008-03-30 1915 #KABF08 Smoke on the Daughter (short opening) Written by Billy Kimball Directed by Lance Kramer Lisa enters a ballet school where students smoke. Father racoon chokes son racoon. Maggie chokes Bart. _________________________________________________________________ 2008-04-13 1916 #KABF09 Papa Don't Leech (short opening) Written by Reid Harrison Directed by Chris Clements Colonel Homer's singer returns. Homer reaches after Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2008-04-27 1917 #KABF10 Apocalypse Cow A PERSON'S A PERSON NO MATTER HOW RALPH Written by Jeff Westbrook Directed by Nancy Kruse Bart befriends a calf and tries to save it from a slaughterhouse. _________________________________________________________________ 2008-05-04 1918 #KABF11 Any Given Sundance (short opening) Written by Daniel Chun Directed by Chuck Sheetz The Simpsons go to a film festival where Lisa presents her documentary about the family. Homer chokes Bart. _________________________________________________________________ 2008-05-11 1919 #KABF12 Mona Leaves-a This punishment is not medieval. Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Mike B. Anderson & Ralph Sosa Homer's mother dies; Homer executes her last will. Dedicated to the Memory of Elsie Castellaneta Dora K. Warren Homer after Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2008-05-18 1920 #KABF13 All About Lisa (short opening) Written by John Frink Directed by Steven Dean Moore Lisa replaces Krusty with her show; Bart collects coins. Homer: Mmm... Terrible... Homer chokes Bart: You little... _________________________________________________________________ 2008-09-28 2001 #KABF17 Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes (short opening) Written by Kevin Curran Directed by Lance Kramer Homer becomes a bounty hunter. _________________________________________________________________ 2008-10-05 2002 #KABF15 Lost Verizon TEACHER'S DIET IS WORKING Written by John Frink Directed by Raymond S. Persi The Simpsons track Bart's cell phone. Bart phones a Hawaiian bar asking for Maya Normousbutt. Bart phones Crocodile Drunkee's asking for Drew P. Wiener. Bart phones Inga-Bar Beerman's asking for Olaf Myfriendsaregay. _________________________________________________________________ 2008-10-19 2003 #KABF14 Double, Double, Boy in Trouble THERE'S NO SUCH MONTH AS "ROCKTOBER" Written by Bill Odenkirk Directed by Michael Polcino Bart and his rich doppelganger switch places. Homer chokes Bart's doppeganger: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2008-11-02 2004 #KABF16 Treehouse of Horror XIX (special opening) Written by Matt Warburton Directed by Beelze-Bob Anderson Three-tale Helloween episode: Morf Transers Trans Morfers Snort Farmers Untitled Robot Parody (children toys are alive); How to Get Ahead in Dead-Vertising (Homer kills celebrities); It's the Grand Pumpkin, Milhouse (a big pumpkin attacks school). Homer: Must... Tell.. President McCain... _________________________________________________________________ 2008-11-09 2005 #KABF18 Dangerous Curves I DID NOT SEE TEACHER SIPHONING GAS Written by Billy Kimball & Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Matthew Faughnan The Simpsons visit a place where Homer and Marge met Ned and Maude Flanders; Ned (or the screen writers of this episode) is more annoyingly stupid than ever before. _________________________________________________________________ 2008-11-16 2006 #KABF19 Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words (short opening) Written by Tim Long Directed by Nancy Kruse Lisa enters a crossword contest. _________________________________________________________________ 2008-11-30 2007 #KABF20 MyPods and Boomsticks PROSPERITY IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER I WILL NOT BRING THE CHALKBOARD HOME [Bart writes in couch gag] Written by Marc Wilmore Directed by Steven Dean Moore Lisa gets a MyPod; Homer thinks the parents of Bart's new friend are terrorists. Itchy & Scratchy in diEpod Slaylist _________________________________________________________________ 2008-12-07 2008 #KABF21 The Burns and the Bees (snowy opening) JESUS IS NOT MAD HIS BIRTHDAY IS ON CHRISTMAS Written by Stephanie Gillis Directed by Mark Kirkland Lisa tries to save bees in Springfield. Burns runs into an oak tree: Kill his acorns and make him watch. _________________________________________________________________ 2009-01-25 2009 #KABF22 Lisa the Drama Queen I WILL NOT USE PERMANENT INK ON THE CHALKBOARD Written by Brian Kelley Directed by Matthew Nastuk Lisa's new friend thinks a virtual world they have both created is real. _________________________________________________________________ 2009-02-15 2010 #LABF01 Take My Life, Please (new standard HDTV opening) HDTV IS WORTH EVERY CENT (TV falls off) Written by Don Payne Directed by Steven Dean Moore Homer learns that he could win the Student Council elections. _________________________________________________________________ 2009-03-01 2011 #LABF02 How the Test Was Won "MARCH MADNESS" IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR MISSING SCHOOL Written by Michael Price Directed by Lance Kramer On the day of writing a test, Bart with some students and Skinner are driven away. _________________________________________________________________ 2009-03-08 2012 #LABF03 No Loan Again, Naturally I WILL NOT HAVE FUN WITH EDUCATIONAL TOYS (TV falls off) Written by Jeff Westbrook Directed by Mark Kirkland The Simpsons lose their house due to debts; Ned buys their house on an auction and rents it to them. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2009-03-15 2013 #LABF04 Gone Maggie Gone (short opening) Written by Billy Kimball & Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Chris Clements Maggie is taken into a monastery; Lisa tries to solve puzzles leading to a hidden gem. _________________________________________________________________ 2009-03-17 2014 #LABF11 In the Name of the Grandfather [Aired in the UK first, then in the US] FOUR-LEAF CLOVERS ARE NOT MUTANT FREAKS (TV falls off) Written by Matt Marshall Directed by Ralph Sosa The Simpsons go to Ireland; Homer and Grampa buy a tavern. Homer holds a biker: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2009-03-29 2015 #LABF05 Wedding for Disaster MY PIGGY BANK IS NOT ENTITLED TO TARP FUNDS Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Chuck Sheetz Homer and Marge learn their renewed marriage is not valid; Homer is kidnapped and chained in an underground room; Bart and Lisa suspect Sideshow Bob; it was Selma with Petty. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little bastard... _________________________________________________________________ 2009-04-05 2016 #LABF06 Eeny Teeny Maya Moe (short opening, TV falls off) Written by John Frink Directed by Nancy Kruse Moe befriends a small woman. _________________________________________________________________ 2009-04-19 2017 #LABF07 The Good, the Sad and the Drugly I WILL NOT MOCK TEACHER'S OUTDATED CELL PHONE Written by Marc Wilmore Directed by Rob Oliver Bart befriends a new girl, whom he tells he takes care of a mentally challenged man (Homer); Milhouse is driven crazy by his jealousness; Lisa's insanity gets worse due to the global warming myth, so she is constantly drugged. _________________________________________________________________ 2009-04-26 2018 #LABF08 Father Knows Worst I WILL NOT PUT HOT SAUCE IN THE CPR DUMMY (TV falls off) Written by Rob Lazebnik Directed by Matthew Nastuk Marge discovers a sauna in their house; Homer helps Bart and Lisa with their school projects. Beneath: Pipes under Simpsons' attic Homer chokes Bart: Why... You... Little... Burn, Barty, burn! In closing credits, Canvas sing Simpsons Theme. _________________________________________________________________ 2009-05-03 2019 #LABF10 Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D'oh (short opening) Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Michael Polcino Bart and Lisa attend a new school. _________________________________________________________________ 2009-05-10 2020 #LABF09 Four Great Women and a Manicure (short opening, TV falls off) Written by Valentina L. Garza Directed by Raymond S. Persi Three-tale episode (four-tale actually): Queen Elizabeth I (Selma); Snow White (Lisa); Lady MacBeth (Marge); Maggie Roark. _________________________________________________________________ 2009-05-17 2021 #LABF12 Coming to Homerica IT'S "FACEBOOK", NOT "ASSBOOK" Written by Brendan Hay Directed by Steven Dean Moore Springfield bans Ogdenville citizens from the town. Homer chases Bart: Why, you little... I'll kill you! _________________________________________________________________ 2009-09-27 2101 #LABF13 Homer the Whopper THE CLASS HAMSTER ISN'T JUST SLEEPING (TV falls off) Written by Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg Directed by Lance Kramer Bart angers Comic Book Guy by pretending ignorance of Spider-Man; Homes stars as Everyman in a feature film. _________________________________________________________________ 2009-10-04 2102 #LABF15 Bart Gets a "Z" CHALKBOARDING IS NOT TORTURE Written by Matt Selman Directed by Mark Kirkland Edna is fired after Bart spikes her coffee with booze; she opens a muffin store. Itchy & Scratchy on a cell phone _________________________________________________________________ 2009-10-11 2103 #LABF16 The Great Wife Hope I AM NOT ALLERGIC TO LONG DIVISION (TV falls off) Written by Carolyn Omine Directed by Matthew Faughnan Marge fights in a septagon ring. _________________________________________________________________ 2009-10-18 2104 #LABF14 Treehouse of Horror XX (special opening) Written by Edward Danielchunhands Directed by Mike Beheaded Anderson 2 & Manic Matthew Schofield Three-tale Halloween episode: Dial "M" for Murder or Press "#" to Return to Main Menu (Bart and Lisa agree that each one of them kills a teacher); Don't Have a Cow, Mankind (Krusty Burger customers turn into zombies); There's No Business Like Moe Business (a musical starring Moe). Homer chokes Bart. _________________________________________________________________ 2009-11-15 2105 #LABF17 The Devil Wears Nada I DO NOT HAVE THE HOTS FOR MY MOM Written by Tim Long Directed by Nancy Kruse Marge poses for a calendar; Homer goes with Carl to Paris. _________________________________________________________________ 2009-11-22 2106 #LABF18 Pranks and Greens HALLOWEEN DOES NOT KICK THANKSGIVING'S ASS Written by Jeff Westbrook Directed by Chuck Sheetz Bart learns that there was a student more wicked than him. _________________________________________________________________ 2009-11-29 2107 #LABF19 Rednecks and Broomsticks TEACHERS' UNIONS ARE NOT RUINING THIS COUNTRY Written by Kevin Curran Directed by Bob Anderson & Rob Olivier Cletus saves the Simpsons from drowning in an icy lake; Homer is an expert on moonshine; Lisa joins a Wiccan froup. _________________________________________________________________ 2009-12-13 2108 #MABF01 O Brother, Where Bart Thou? (short opening) Written by Matt Selman Directed by Steven Dean Moore Bart adopts a new brother; he takes him to see "Sever V". Itchy & Scratchy glimpses _________________________________________________________________ 2010-01-03 2109 #MABF02 Thursdays with Abie (short opening) Written by Mitchell H. Glazer & Don Payne Directed by Michael Polcino The Simpsons go to see a giant octopus Slimu; Grampa befriends a journalist who records his stories, and, later, he tries to kill him. Homer to his reflection: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2010-01-10 2110 #LABF20 Once upon a Time in Springfield THE WORLD MAY END IN 2012 BUT THIS SHOW WON'T Written by Stephanie Gillis Directed by Matthew Nastuk Krusty gets a co-host playing princess in his show. Thanks for 20 wonderful years The best is yet to come _________________________________________________________________ 2010-01-10 S 21SP #LABF21 The Simpsons 20th Anniversary Special - in 3-D! On Ice! [does not count as a Simpsons episode] (special opening) Directed by Morgan Spurlock Written by Jeremy Chilnick Morgan Spurlock A live insight into "The Simpsons" show and its cultural impact on the real world. _________________________________________________________________ 2010-01-31 2111 #MABF03 Million Dollar Maybe (short opening) Written by Bill Odenkirk Directed by Chris Clements Homer wins a million dollars in lottery. Homer from the phone: Why, you little... Homer throws Bart away: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2010-02-14 2112 #MABF05 Boy Meets Curl (short opening) Written by Rob Lazebnik Directed by Chuck Sheetz Homer and Marge play curling. _________________________________________________________________ 2010-02-21 2113 #MABF06 The Color Yellow (short opening) Written by Bill Kimball & Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Raymond S. Persi Lisa tries to prove that one of her ancestors was an honorable woman. _________________________________________________________________ 2010-03-14 2114 #MABF04 Postcards from the Wedge (short opening) Written by Brian Kelley Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer and Marge do not care about Bart's escapades. Itchy & Scratchy: Mouse M.D. Homer: Must... Squeeze... Harder... Homer chokes a lever: Why, you little.... Beneath: Old subway station under Springfield _________________________________________________________________ 2010-03-21 2115 #MABF07 Stealing First Base WORLD WAR II COULD NOT BEAT UP WORLD WAR I Written by John Frink Directed by Steven Dean Moore Bart kisses a new girl. Itchy & Scratchy movie Homer chokes Skinner: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2010-03-28 2116 #MABF10 The Greatest Story Ever D'ohed (short opening) Written by Kevin Curran Directed by Michael Polcino The Simpsons go with Ned to Israel; Homer suffers from Jerusalem Syndrome. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2010-04-11 2117 #MABF08 American History X-cellent HOT DOGS ARE NOT BOOKMARKS Written by Michael Price Directed by Bob Anderson Burns goes to prison; Smithers supervises the power plant. _________________________________________________________________ 2010-04-18 2118 #MABF09 Chief of Hearts THIS COUNTS AS GYM AND ART CLASS Written by Carolyn Omine & William Wright Directed by Chris Clements Homer is sentenced to community service and becomes friend with Wiggum. _________________________________________________________________ 2010-04-25 2119 #MABF14 The Squirt and the Whale SOUTH PARK-WE'D STAND BESIDE YOU IF WE WEREN'T SO SCARED Written by Matt Warburton Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer buys a wind power station; a whale dies on the beach. _________________________________________________________________ 2010-05-02 2120 #MABF12 To Surveil with Love (special opening - tik tok) [Are you ^##@(%& kidding ME?!?] Written by Michael Nobori Directed by Lance Kramer Homer's bag with radioactive material is detonated; a giant clock lands near Homer's hammock; Lisa hates being blonde; Springfield is under massive surveillance; Bart discovers a blindspot. _________________________________________________________________ 2010-05-09 2121 #MABF13 Moe Letter Blues EATING MY VEGETABLES IS NOT A MOTHER'S DAY PRESENT Written by Stephanie Gillis Directed by Matthew Nastuk Mother's Day episode: Moe writes a letter to Homer, Apu and Lovejoy telling that he is leaving with the wife of one of them. Itchy & Scratchy: La Mort d'un Chat sur la Lune _________________________________________________________________ 2010-05-16 2122 #MABF11 The Bob Next Door BATMAN IS NOT "NOTHING WITHOUT HIS UTILITY BELT" Written by John Frink Directed by Nancy Kruse Sideshow Bob switches faces with a fellow inmate and moves next to the Simpsons. _________________________________________________________________ 2010-05-23 2123 #MABF15 Judge Me Tender END OF "LOST": IT WAS ALL THE DOG'S DREAM. WATCH US. (Lisa plays trumpet) Written by Dan Greaney & Allen Glazier Directed by Steven Dean Moore Moe becomes a judge in various contests; Homer tries to stop leaking boiler with his mouth and barfs a huge amount of water on Ned. Simon: I'm here, I'm gone. I'm here, I'm gone. I'm here, I'm gone. I'm here... Homer chokes Bart. _________________________________________________________________ 2010-09-26 2201 #MABF21 Elementary School Musical WHEN I SLEPT IN CLASS, IT WAS NOT TO HELP LEO DICAPRIO Written by Tim Long Directed by Mark Kirkland Lisa goes to an art camp. _________________________________________________________________ 2010-10-03 2202 #MABF17 Loan-a-Lisa I DID NOT SEE TEACHER APPLYING FOR WELFARE Written by Valentina L. Garza Directed by Matthew Faughnan Nelson starts a bicycle repair shop. Itchy & Scratchy: P.U. _________________________________________________________________ 2010-10-10 2203 #MABF18 MoneyBart I MUST NOT WRITE ALL OVER THE WALL Written by Tim Long Directed by Nancy Kruse Lisa becomes a baseball coach. _________________________________________________________________ 2010-11-07 2204 #MABF16 Treehouse of Horror XXI (special opening) Written by As Predicted, Joel Cohen Just Died Directed by Sponge Bob Anderson Pants Three-tale Halloween episode: War and Pieces (giant board game pieces come alive); Master and Cadaver (Homer and Marge pull a man out of sea); Tweenlight (Lisa befriends a vampire). Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2010-11-14 2205 #MABF20 Lisa Simpson, This isn't Your Life (short opening) Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Matthew Nastuk Bart overpowers Nelson; Lisa attends an Academy. Itchy & Scratchy in Hoop Screams _________________________________________________________________ 2010-11-21 2206 #NABF01 The Fool Monty (short opening) Written by Michael Price Directed by Steven Dean Moore Bart finds Burns after he loses his memory, and rents him to the people in Springfield. _________________________________________________________________ 2010-11-28 2207 #NABF02 How Munched is That Birdie in the Window? "A CHARLIE BROWN THANKSGIVING" IS AS GOOD AS "A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS" (TV falls off) Written by Kevin Curran Directed by Michael Polcino Bart takes care of an injured pigeon. Itchy & Scratchy in Dogday Hellody of 1933 Bart chokes an ostrich: Why, you little... An ostrich chokes Homer. _________________________________________________________________ 2010-12-05 2208 #MABF22 The Fight Before Christmas (no opening) Written by Dan Castellaneta & Deb Lacusta Directed by Bob Anderson & Matthew Schofield Three-tale Christmas episode (four-tale actually): Bart's dream (Bart visits North Pole); Lisa's dream (Marge fights in World War II); Marge's dream (Marge decorates the house); Maggie's dream (the Simpsons are puppets except a live-action hideous creature). _________________________________________________________________ 2010-12-12 2209 #MABF19 Donnie Fatso CANDY CANES ARE NOT ELF BONES (Homer chokes Bart in the couch gag) Written by Chris Cluess Directed by Ralph Sosa As an informant, Homer befriends Fat Tony in jail; Fat Tony dies of heart attack; his cousin Fit Tony becomes the new Fat Tony. Homer chokes Bart: Don't tell me I'm not capable of good behavior! Fat Tony phones Moe asking for Yuri Nator. _________________________________________________________________ 2011-01-09 2210 #NABF03 Moms I'd Like to Forget JANUARY IS NOT BART HISTORY MONTH Written by Brian Kelley Directed by Chris Clements Bart wonders why he and his former friends have a similar scars on their hands. _________________________________________________________________ 2011-01-16 2211 #NABF04 Flaming Moe (short opening) Written by Matt Selman Directed by Chuck Sheetz Moe opens a bar for warm people. _________________________________________________________________ 2011-01-23 2212 #NABF05 Homer the Father PRINCE IS NOT THE SON OF MARTIN LUTHER KING Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Mark Kirkland Bart wants a motorcycle, and he provides sensitive data to the Chinese Intelligence Agency. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... Itchy & Scratchy in Ain't I a Stinger? _________________________________________________________________ 2011-02-13 2213 #NABF06 The Blue and the Gray I WILL NOT MAKE FUN OF CUPID'S DINK Written by Rob Lazebnik Directed by Bob Anderson Valentine episode: Marge dyes her hair gray; she becomes a witch while going for Homer. _________________________________________________________________ 2011-02-20 2214 #NABF07 Angry Dad: The Movie (short opening) Written by John Frink Directed by Matthew Nastuk Homer voices the Angry Dad in a movie; the movie wins a Golden Globe in competition with other pictures including the one with a sneezing tank; Bart tries to prevent Homer from taking his Academy Award. Itchy & Scratchy in The Great Brawl of China Homer chokes Bart: You monster! _________________________________________________________________ 2011-03-06 2215 #NABF08 The Scorpion's Tale I'M NOT HERE ON A SPITBALL SCHOLARSHIP Written by Billy Kimball & Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Matthew Schofield Lisa discovers an elixir that makes scorpions friendly; Homer uses it on Grampa so he would not be so morose; the elixir has a side effect of popping out the eyes of a user. _________________________________________________________________ 2011-03-13 2216 #NABF09 A Midsummer's Nice Dream "DAYLIGHT SAVINGS" IS NOT A FAILED BANK (Lisa plays a trumpet) Written by Deb Lacusta & Dan Castellaneta Directed by Steven Dean Moore Homer tours as Chong of duo Cheech & Chong; Marge cleans the house of the Crazy Cat Lady. _________________________________________________________________ 2011-03-27 2217 #NABF10 Love is a Many Strangled Thing I WILL NOT RIDICULE TEACHER'S FINAL FOUR BRACKET Written by Bill Odenkirk Directed by Michael Polcino After a therapy, Homer becomes afraid of Bart. Young Homer chokes his father: Why, you little... Kareem chokes Homer: Why, you little... A basketball player chokes Homer. Homer goes after Bart: Why, you little... I'll teach you to... Homer climbs after Bart: Why, you little... Kareem-tree chokes Homer. I'M A GROWN MAN WHO'S SCARED OF HIS OWN SON [Homer writes] Bart texts Moe: I. M. A. Wiener Zander chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2011-04-10 2218 #NABF11 The Great Simpsina (no opening) Written by Matt Warburton Directed by Chris Clements Lisa befriend an old magician who teaches her tricks; a street magician steals Lisa's trick. _________________________________________________________________ 2011-05-01 2219 #NABF12 The Real Housewives of Fat Tony (short opening) Written by Dick Blasucci Directed by Lance Kramer Fat Tony marries Selma; Lisa uses Bart to find truffles. _________________________________________________________________ 2011-05-08 2220 #NABF13 Homer Scissorhands I DO NOT DESERVE A MOTHER'S DAY GIFT FOR BEING "ONE BADASS MOTHER" Written by Peter Gaffney & Steve Viksten Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer becomes a hairdresser. _________________________________________________________________ 2011-05-15 2221 #NABF14 500 Keys GUINEA PIGS SHOULD NOT BE USED AS "GUINEA PIGS" (Lisa plays a violin) Written by John Frink Directed by Bob Anderson Lisa finds in a pile of Simpsons' keys a key to a secret room in the school which leads to an explanation of what happened to a missing school bus. Homer chokes a mannequin: Why, you undead little... _________________________________________________________________ 2011-05-22 2222 #NABF15 The Ned-Liest Catch (no opening) Written by Jeff Westbrook Directed by Chuck Sheetz Edna slaps Bart; Ned starts dating Edna. It is left to the viewers to decide if they should stay together. _________________________________________________________________ 2011-09-25 2301 #NABF16 The Falcon and the D'ohman (no opening) Written by Justin Hurwitz Directed by Matthew Nastuk Homer befriends a former secret agent. Ned and Edna stayed together. _________________________________________________________________ 2011-10-02 2302 #NABF17 Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts IT'S NOT TOO EARLY TO SPECULATE ABOUT THE 2016 ELECTION (Lisa plays a horn) Written by Tim Long Directed by Steven Dean Moore Bart befriends Superintendent Chalmers. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2011-10-30 2303 #NABF19 Treehouse of Horror XXII (special opening) Written by Carolyn? Oh, Mean, Eh? Directed by Merciless Matthew Faughnan Three-tale Halloween episode: The Diving Bell and the Butterball (Homer becomes a spider-man); Dial D for Diddily (Ned is a serial killer); In the Na' Vi (Humans infiltrate aliens). God chokes Homer: Why, you little... Satan to God: Get me a coffee! _________________________________________________________________ 2011-11-06 2304 #NABF21 Replaceable You IT'S NOVEMBER 6TH--HOW COME WE'RE NOT AIRING A HALLOWEEN SHOW? Written by Stephanie Gillis Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer gets an assistant in the work; Martin and Bart construct a robotic seal; Snake has eyes like a seal. Itchy & Scratchy _________________________________________________________________ 2011-11-13 2305 #NABF20 The Food Wife (no opening) Written by Matt Selman Directed by Timothy Bailey Marge, Bart and Lisa become food experts; Homer is sent to a drug lab. _________________________________________________________________ 2011-11-20 2306 #NABF22 The Book Job (no opening) Written by Dan Vebber Directed by Bob Anderson Homer puts together a team to write a new fantasy novel. _________________________________________________________________ 2011-11-27 2307 #PABF01 The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants (no opening) Written by Jeff Westbrook Directed by Steven Dean Moore Homer becomes an account manager in the power plant; he takes the family to a rafting trip. Beneath: Nothing under the living room _________________________________________________________________ 2011-12-04 2308 #PABF02 The Ten-Per-Cent Solution "CAUCUS" IS NOT A DIRTY WORD Written by Deb Lacusta & Dan Castellaneta Directed by Michael Polcino Krusty gets fired, and his old manager, who hates him, prepares his comeback. Itchy & Scratchy in The Cat's Speech Itchy & Scratchy in The Social Petwork Itchy & Scratchy in Black & Blue Swan _________________________________________________________________ 2011-12-11 2309 #NABF18 Holidays of Future Passed CAFETERIA TRAYS ARE NOT TOBOGGANS (decorated TV) Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Rob Oliver Christmas episode about the future: Lisa tries to do something with her daughter; Maggie has a child. _________________________________________________________________ 2012-01-08 2310 #PABF03 Politically Inept, with Homer Simpson TINTIN DID NOT SUCKSUCK Written by John Frink Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer protests in an airplane; he gets his own TV show; Republicans ask him to select a candidate for them. Homer chokes Bart: That's what a play within a play is for! _________________________________________________________________ 2012-01-15 2311 #PABF04 The D'oh-cial Network WE DO NEED NO EDUCATION Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Chris Clements Lisa testifies in the court how she created a social network; A Simpsons "Show Too Short" Story before the closing credits. _________________________________________________________________ 2012-01-29 2312 #PABF05 Moe Goes from Rags to Riches THERE'S NO PROVEN LINK BETWEEN RAISINS AND BOOGERS Written by Tim Long Directed by Bob Anderson Moe's rag tells its story throughout the history. _________________________________________________________________ 2012-02-12 2313 #PABF06 The Daughter Also Rises I WILL NOT REPLACE A CANDY HEART WITH A FROG'S HEART Written by Rob Lazebnik Directed by Chuck Sheetz Valentine episode: Bart and Milhouse bust myths; Lisa finds a new love interest. Itchy & scratchy in Roses are Red, Violence is Due _________________________________________________________________ 2012-02-19 2314 #PABF07 At Long Last Leave 500th EPISODE THE MOST MEANINGLESS MILESTONE OF ALL! BART'S EARNED A DAY OFF [Milhouse writes] (Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little...) Written by Michael Price Directed by Matthew Nastuk The Simpsons are thrown out of Springfield by its citizens including Sideshow Bob; they find a new place to live in "The Outlands". I [heart] BREAKDOWN OF SOCIETY [Bart sprays] _________________________________________________________________ 2012-03-04 2315 #PABF09 Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart (short opening with couch gag parodying "Game of Thrones" with its bone-chilling theme by Ramin Djawadi)[Are you AGAINing me?!?] Written by Marc Wilmore Directed by Steven Dean Moore Bart spray-paints pictures of Homer's face all over Springfield; his drawings are presented at an art gallery. Homer charges at Bart: Why, you little... I'm gonna get... Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... Pay for your genius! _________________________________________________________________ 2012-03-11 2316 #PABF08 How I Wet Your Mother (short opening) Written by Billy Kimball & Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Lance Kramer Homer pisses himself in his sleep; the Simpsons enter Homer's dreams; his mother shows him an episode from his childhood. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... I'll teach you to make fun of my socks! Homer/chair chokes Bart: Why, you little... There's nothing in this dream world that can't strangle you. _________________________________________________________________ 2012-03-18 2317 #PABF10 Them, Robot (short opening) Written by Michael Price Directed by Michael Polcino Burns fires all his employees except Homer and replaces them with robots. _________________________________________________________________ 2012-04-15 2318 #PABF11 Beware My Cheating Bart NOW ENTERING OREGON [original broadcast] THE TRUE LOCATION OF SPRINGFIELD IS IN ANY STATE BUT YOURS TEACHER DOES NOT HAVE TO PAY AN "UGLY TAX" [international] Written by Ben Joseph Directed by Mark Kirkland Bart takes care of Jimbo's girlfriend; Homer becomes a fan of the "Stranded" TV show. _________________________________________________________________ 2012-04-29 2319 #PABF12 A Totally Fun Thing Bart Will Never Do Again (short opening) Written by Matt Warburton Directed by Chris Clements The Simpsons go on a cruising trip; Bart tricks the passengers into thinking there is a virus outbreak in the world. Homer tries to choke Bart: Choke on my numb blue hands! _________________________________________________________________ 2012-05-06 2320 #PABF13 The Spy Who Learned Me (short opening) Written by Marc Wilmore Directed by Bob Anderson Homer suffers a brain concussion and has visions of a secret agent who teaches him to be a better husband; Bart tricks Nelson to get an overweight. _________________________________________________________________ 2012-05-13 2321 #PABF15 Ned 'n' Edna's Blend CALL YOUR MOTHER DURING THE COMMERCIALS Written by Jeff Westbrook Directed by Chuck Sheetz Homer gets a role of the Nazarene in a theatre play; Ned and Edna reveal they are married. Homer: Mmm... Historically inaccurate... Homer chokes Bart off-screen: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2012-05-20 2322 #PABF14 Lisa Goes Gaga (short opening) Written by Tim Long Directed by Matthew Schofield Lisa is the least popular kid in the school; a pop singer tries to make Lisa more happy. At the end, a disclaimer on the upcoming "The Longest Daycare" short. _________________________________________________________________ 2012-07-13 O Maggie Simpson in "The Longest Daycare" [does not count as a Simpsons episode] Directed by David Silverman Written by James L. Brooks Matt Groening Al Jean David Mirkin Joel H. Cohen Michael Price Maggie saves a butterfly. _________________________________________________________________ 2012-09-30 2401 #PABF21 Moonshine River I WILL NOT WEAR WHITE AFTER LABOR DAY [Bart dressed in white] (Lisa plays a horn) Written by Tim Long Directed by Bob Anderson Bart and Simpsons visit New York to meet Mary. Homer chokes a lamp-post: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2012-10-07 2402 #PABF17 Treehouse of Horror XXIII (special opening) Written by David Boogie Man-Del & Brian Death Knelley Directed by Steven "Freaking" Moore Three-tale Halloween episode: The Greatest Story Ever Holed (the Simpsons have a black hole); Unnormal Activity (demonic activities at the Simpsons); Bart & Homer's Excellent Advenure (Bart travels back into 1974). Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2012-11-04 2403 #PABF18 Adventures in Baby-Getting (short opening) Written by Bill Odenkirk Directed by Rob Oliver Marge wants another child, but Homer does not. Beneath: Prototype Simpsons under the Simpsons' house and large cavern under the Springfield Park The Itchy & Scratchy Movie _________________________________________________________________ 2012-11-11 2404 #PABF16 Gone Abie Gone I WILL NOT CONCEDE THE ELECTION TILL KARL ROVE GIVES ME PERMISSION Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Matthew Nastuk Homer and Marge learn Grampa had another wife; Lisa plays an online poker. _________________________________________________________________ 2012-11-18 2405 #PABF19 Penny-Wiseguys I WANT TO SECEDE BUT DON'T KNOW WHICH STATE I'M IN (Lisa plays a violin) Written by Michael Price Directed by Mark Kirkland Lisa eats grasshoppers; Fat Tony puts his accountant in charge. Homer to Dan: Why, you... _________________________________________________________________ 2012-11-25 2406 #PABF22 A Tree Grows in Springfield 20 MORE SHOPLIFTING DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS Written by Stephanie Gillis Directed by Timothy Bailey A word of "HOPE" appears on a tree at the Simpsons. Homer throws Bart to a lion: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2012-12-09 2407 #PABF20 The Day the Earth Stood Cool (no opening) Written by Matt Selman Directed by Matthew Faughnan A girl flirts with Homer in a park thinking he is a grandfather; Homer befriends a new cool family; Springfield slowly transforms into a cool town. _________________________________________________________________ 2012-12-16 2408 #RABF01 To Cur with Love (no opening) Written by Carolyn Omine Directed by Steven Dean Moore Grampa tells the story of Homer's dog Bongo; Republican Montgomery Burns explains the "Fiscal Cliff". _________________________________________________________________ 2013-01-06 2409 #RABF02 Homer Goes to Prep School TEACHER DID NOT GET FAT OVER THE HOLIDAYS Written by Brian Kelley Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer becomes a survivalist. Homer: Mmm... Butter... _________________________________________________________________ 2013-01-13 2410 #RABF03 A Test Before Trying I WILL OBEY OSCAR® CAMPAIGN RULES FROM NOW ON Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Chris Clements Bart may save the school from being closed by writing a test; Homer devises a scam with parking meter. IN MEMORY OF HUELL HOWSER Friend of The Simpsons and Friend of California _________________________________________________________________ 2013-01-27 2411 #RABF04 The Changing of the Guardian (short opening) Written by Rob Lazebnik Directed by Bob Anderson Homer and Marge try to find guardians for their children. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... I do call this living... Living the way kids in India can only dream of! _________________________________________________________________ 2013-02-10 2412 #RABF07 Love is a Many-Splintered Thing I WAS NOT NOMINATED FOR "BEST SPOKEN SWEAR WORD" (Lisa plays a violin) Written by Tim Long Directed by Michael Polcino Valentine episode: Bart dates Mary, but he does not care. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... I'll teach you to say something that sounds similar! _________________________________________________________________ 2013-02-17 2413 #RABF05 Hardly Kirk-ing (short opening with the "Game of Thrones" theme again) Written by Tom Gammill & Max Pross Directed by Matthew Nastuk Milhouse poses as his father. Milhouse chokes Bart: Why, you little... Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... That's not a heart-warming thing to end on! _________________________________________________________________ 2013-03-03 2414 #RABF06 Gorgeous Grampa (short opening) Written by Matt Selman Directed by Chuck Sheetz The Simpsons learn that Grampa used to be a wrestler. _________________________________________________________________ 2013-03-10 2415 #RABF09 Black-Eyed, Please I'M SORRY I BROKE THE BLACKBOARD [Bart writes on whiteboard] Written by John Frink Directed by Matthew Schofield A new teacher hates Lisa; Ned punches Homer in the eye. I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL [Bart wrote] _________________________________________________________________ 2013-03-17 2416 #RABF10 Dark Knight Court JESUS'S LAST WORDS WERE NOT "TGIF" (Lisa plays a violin) Written by Billy Kimball & Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Mark Kirkland Easter episode: Bart is tried for causing a rain of eggs; Burns becomes Fruit Bat Man. Moe testifies Bart phoned him asking for Mike Rotch. _________________________________________________________________ 2013-04-14 2417 #RABF08 What Animated Women Want (special opening) Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Steven Dean Moore Homer wants to make Marge happy; Milhouse tries to understand Lisa. _________________________________________________________________ 2013-04-28 2418 #RABF11 Pulpit Friction (no opening) Written by Bill Odenkirk Directed by Chris Clements Homer becomes a deacon in the church; Bart and Milhouse bring the curse of frogs on the church to bring Lovejoy back. Homer charges at Bart: Why, you little... lamb. Oh. Mustn't... kill own son. Only God can do that. _________________________________________________________________ 2013-05-05 2419 #RABF13 Whiskey Business (short opening) Written by Valentina L. Garza Directed by Matthew Nastuk Moe becomes popular in his new suit. Bart phones Moe asking for Moe Ron. _________________________________________________________________ 2013-05-12 2420 #RABF12 The Fabulous Faker Boy THIS SCHOOL IS NOT FALLING APART Written by Brian McConnachie Directed by Bob Anderson Homer loses his hair; Bart takes piano lessons because of the pretty teacher. _________________________________________________________________ 2013-05-19 2421 #RABF14 The Saga of Carl (short opening) Written by Eric Kaplan Directed by Chuck Sheetz Homer and his friends win in the lottery; Carl disappears with the money; the others go to Iceland to find him. _________________________________________________________________ 2013-05-19 2422 #RABF17 Dangers on a Train (short opening) Written by Michael Price Directed by Steven Dean Moore Homer buys a kiddie train for Marge; Marge finds a new friend online. Young Homer to small Bart: I'll teach you to speak in complete sentences... _________________________________________________________________ 2013-09-29 2501 #RABF20 Homerland [inverted "E"] 25 YEARS AND THEY CAN'T COME UP WITH A NEW PUNISHMENT (Lisa plays a harp) Written by Stephanie Gillis [inverted "e" and "E"s] Directed by Bob Anderson [inverted "e"s and "E"] Lisa suspects that Homer is a terrorist. _________________________________________________________________ 2013-10-06 2502 #RABF16 Treehouse of Horror XXIV (special opening) ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY Written by Curse of the Werebrook Directed by The Thing That Ate Rob Oliver Opening Credits by Guillo Tine del Toro Three-tale Halloween episode: Oh, the Places You'll D'oh! (Homer is The Fat in the Hat); Dead and Shoulders (Bart's head is attached to Lisa); Freaks No Geeks (Burns has a freak show). Homer chokes Bart's head: Why, you little... Beneath: prototype Simpsons under the power plant _________________________________________________________________ 2013-11-03 2503 #RABF18 Four Regrettings and a Funeral WE'LL REALLY MISS YOU MRS. K. Written by Marc Wilmore Directed by Mark Kirkland Burns tries to find his old love from Paris. IN LOVING MEMORY OF MARCIA WALLACE [written behind her] _________________________________________________________________ 2013-11-10 2504 #RABF22 YOLO MY SCHOOL SCHEDULE DOES NOT INCLUDE A BYE WEEK Written by Michael Nobori Directed by Michael Polcino Homer's pen pal tries to teach him how to enjoy the life. Homer: Mmm... Melon collie... I WILL NOT DROP A STITCH [Bart sews] _________________________________________________________________ 2013-11-17 2505 #RABF19 Labor Pains ROCKTOBER IS NOT FOLLOWED BY BLOWVEMBER Written by Don Payne & Mitchell H. Glazer Directed by Matthew Faughnan Homer takes care of a child he helped to bring to the world in an elevator. Itchy & Scratchy in Cat's in the Cradle Homer snuggles Bart: Why, you little... I'll give you a good-night kiss you'll never forget! _________________________________________________________________ 2013-11-24 2506 #SABF02 The Kid is All Right (special opening) Written by Tim Long Directed by Mark Kirkland Republicans support Lisa's new friend as a class representative in electtions against insane liberal Lisa. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2013-12-08 2507 #SABF04 Yellow Subterfuge I WILL STOP ASKING WHEN SANTA GOES TO THE BATHROOM Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Bob Anderson Skinner does not allow Bart to go on a submarine; Homer and Bart trick Skinner into thinking he killed his mother. Itchem & Scratchem in Rasta, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! _________________________________________________________________ 2013-12-15 2508 #SABF01 White Christmas Blues (snowy opening) I WILL NOT CALL MY TEACHER "PRANCER" and "VIXEN". Written by Don Payne Directed by Steven Dean Moore Christmas episode: The Simpsons rent a room for Christmas tourists. Itchy & Scratchy in It's a Wonderful Knife _________________________________________________________________ 2014-01-05 2509 #SABF05 Steal This Episode (no opening) Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Matthew Nastuk Homer screens movies he downloaded from the Internet. _________________________________________________________________ 2014-01-12 2510 #SABF03 Married to the Blob JUDAS PRIEST IS NOT "DEATH METAL" (Lisa plays a harp) Written by Tim Long Directed by Chris Clements The Comic Book Guy finds himself a girlfriend. Homer tries to choke snail-Bart: Why, you slimey little... _________________________________________________________________ 2014-01-26 2511 #SABF06 Specs and the City (short opening, decorated TV) Written by Brian Kelley Directed by Lance Kramer Burns spies on his employees via computer goggles. _________________________________________________________________ 2014-03-09 2512 #SABF08 Diggs MARGE BART -------+ +------- | | +------+ MARGE BART +------+ LENNY | | | | NED -------+ | | +------- | | +-------+ MARGE BART +-------+ CARL | | | | MOE -------+ | | | | +------- | | | | | | +------+ CARL | | MOE +------+ CLETUS | | | | COOKIE -------+ | | +------- | | +-- HOMER JASPER --+ GRAMPA | | LISA -------+ | | +------- | | | | +------+ HOMER | | LISA +------+ HOMER | | | | | | OTTO -------+ | | | | +------- | | | | +-------+ HOMER JASPER +-------+ BUMBLEBEE MAN | | APU -------+ | | +------- | | | | +------+ WILLIE JASPER +------+ WILLIE | | JASPER -------+ +------- Written by Dan Greaney & Allen Glazier Directed by Michael Polcino Bart befriends a falconer. Homer to Bart: Where's my money? Do you have my money? Where is it? You know, if you had the money, I'm right here. Do you have the money? Money, money, money, money, mon... Hibbert to Homer: Where's my money? You got my money? Where's my money? (chuckles) Seriously, where's my money? _________________________________________________________________ 2014-03-09 2513 #SABF07 The Man Who Grew Too Much (short opening) Written by Jeff Westbrook Directed by Matthew Schofield Sideshow Bob genetically modifies organisms including himself. Marge to Homer: Shut your eyes. They're too bright. _________________________________________________________________ 2014-03-16 2514 #SABF09 The Winter of His Content MY DAD'S ALREADY DRUNK FOR ST. PATRICK'S (Lisa plays a violin) Written by Kevin Curran Directed by Chuck Sheetz Grampa and his friends live at the Simpsons; Bart and his friends attend a gathering of bullies. Itchy & Scratchy in Downton Tabby _________________________________________________________________ 2014-03-23 2515 #SABF10 The War of Art (no opening) Written by Rob Lazebnik Directed by Steven Dean Moore The Simpsons buy a valuable painting. Beneath: Concrete in the wall of the house _________________________________________________________________ 2014-03-30 2516 #SABF11 You Don't Have to Live Like a Referee (short opening) Written by Michael Price Directed by Mark Kirkland The Simpsons go to Brazil; Homer becomes a soccer referee. _________________________________________________________________ 2014-04-06 2517 #SABF12 Luca$ (special opening - Simcraft Parodies are Easy!) Written by Carolyn Omine Directed by Chris Clements Bart helps Snake who rewards him with stolen things. _________________________________________________________________ 2014-04-13 2518 #SABF13 Days of Future Future (short opening) Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Bob Anderson Episode about the future: Homer and all his clones die and his conciousness is transferred into a computer; Milhouse becomes a zombie. Hologram Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... I'll teach you to emulate my sloppiness! _________________________________________________________________ 2014-04-27 2519 #SABF14 What to Expect When Bart's Expecting APRIL SHOWERS DO NOT BRING MATT LAUERS (Homer chokes Bart in the couch gag: Why, you little...) Written by John Frink Directed by Matthew Nastuk Bart performs magic for people who want to have children; Fat Tony wants his mare to have a foal. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... I'll teach you to answer peoples' prayers! _________________________________________________________________ 2014-05-04 2520 #RABF21 Brick Like Me (no opening) Written by Brian Kelley Directed by Matthew Nastuk Lego-Homer experiences glimpses into animated reality. _________________________________________________________________ 2014-05-11 2521 #SABF15 Pay Pal (short opening) Written by David H. Steinberg Directed by Michael Polcino Marge pays a girl to be friend with Lisa. Itchy & Scratchy in Catatouille Homer: Mmm... (about to say "ostrich eyes") _________________________________________________________________ 2014-05-18 2522 #SABF18 The Yellow Badge of Cowardge CONGRATULATION GRADUATES [banner, not blackboard] (short opening) Written by Billy Kimball & Ian Maxtone-Graham Directed by Timothy Bailey Bart wins a race instead of Milhouse; Homer plans fireworks. _________________________________________________________________ 2014-09-28 2601 #SABF20 Clown in the Dumps SPOILER ALERT: UNFORTUNATELY, MY DAD DOESN'T DIE (Lisa plays a harp) Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Steven Dean Moore Rabbi Krustofski dies. Homer reaches after popcorn: Must... Make... Effort... Homer pushes Bart against his stomach: Why, you little... Itchy & Scratchy in Breaking Dad Couch Gag by Don Hertzfeldt [futuristic "The Sampsans"] _________________________________________________________________ 2014-09-28 1301 #BACX22-23 Family Guy: The Simpsons Guy [A "Family Guy" episode; does not count as a Simpsons episode] Written by Patrick Meighan Directed by Peter Shin Double-length episode, crossover episode (with "The Simpsons"): the Griffins meet the Simpsons in Springfield; Homer and Pete fight. Homer: Mmm... Doughnut... Pete: Mmm... Doughnut... Bart phones Moe asking for Lee Keebum. Homer chokes Pete. Beneath: a skeleton and mice between floors in the power plant. I WILL NOT THINK ABOUT BART ANYMORE [Stewie writes in his room] _________________________________________________________________ 2014-10-05 2602 #SABF17 The Wreck of the Relationship (short opening; Itchy & Scratchy in the couch gag; blood-splattered TV) Written by Jeff Westbrook Directed by Chuck Sheetz Homer and Bart are on the Relation Ship; Marge plays virtual football. _________________________________________________________________ 2014-10-12 2603 #SABF19 Super Franchise Me (no opening) Written by Bill Odenkirk Directed by Mark Kirkland Marge opens a business with sandwiches. Homer drools: Family-icious... Homer: Mmm... Sandwich... _________________________________________________________________ 2014-10-19 2604 #SABF21 Treehouse of Horror XXV (special opening) Three-tale Halloween episode: School is Hell (Bart and Lisa visit a school in Hell); A Clockwork Yellow (Moe and his friends are violent); The Others (The Simpsons meet Proto-Simpsons). ETERNAL TORMENT IS THE ONLY JUST PUNISHMENT FOR THE UNBAPTIZED Proto-Homer tries to choke Proto-Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2014-11-02 2605 #SABF22 Opposites A-Frack (no opening) Written by Valentina L. Garza Directed by Matthew Nastuk Burns mines natural gas from under Springfield. Beneath: Shale under the Simpsons' house _________________________________________________________________ 2014-11-09 2606 #SABF16 Simpsorama A show out of ideas teams up with a show out of episodes (short opening) Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Bob Anderson Crossover episode (with "Futurama"): Bender and the others travel through time to Springfield to prevent a monster apocalypse in the future. Homer tears apart Bart-monsters: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2014-11-16 2607 #TABF01 Blazed and Confused (short opening) Written by Carolyn Omine & William Wright Directed by Rob Oliver Bart's class gets a new tough teacher; the Simpsons go to the gathering in a desert. LASSEN IS A WIENER EL BARTO [Bart wrote] _________________________________________________________________ 2014-11-23 2608 #TABF02 Covercraft (short opening) Written by Matt Selman Directed by Steven Dean Moore Homer starts to play bass guitar and forms a rock music band. _________________________________________________________________ 2014-12-07 2609 #TABF03 I Won't Be Home for Christmas (snowy opening) REINDEER MEAT DOES NOT TASTE LIKE CHICKEN (decorated TV) Written by Al Jean Directed by Mark Kirkland Christmas episode: Homer spends Christmas alone outside after Marge says she does not want to spend Christmas with him. Coming January 4: "The Man Who Came To Be Dinner" Beneath: A pair of skeletons under master bedroom _________________________________________________________________ 2015-01-04 2610 #RABF15 The Man Who Came to Be Dinner (short opening) Written by Al Jean & David Mirkin Directed by David Silverman The Simpsons are taken by aliens to be eaten on Rigel Seven. Kang tries to choke Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2015-01-11 2611 #TABF05 Bart's New Friend SNOWMEN DON'T HAVE CARROT PENISES Written by Judd Apatow Directed by Bob Anderson Homer is hypnotized into thinking he is a ten-year-old boy. Homer wants to choke Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2015-01-25 2612 #TABF04 The Musk Who Fell to Earth (short opening) Written by Neil Campbell Directed by Matthew Nastuk Elon Musk lands at the Simpsons. Homer: Mmm... Raisin Detra... _________________________________________________________________ 2015-02-08 2613 #TABF06 Walking Big & Tall (short opening) Written by Michael Price Directed by Chris Clements Lisa and Bart compose a new Springfield anthem; Homer tries to lose some weight. _________________________________________________________________ 2015-02-15 2614 #TABF07 My Fare Lady (pixel-art opening) PIXEL ART IS NOT REAL ART Written by Marc Wilmore Directed by Michael Polcino Marge works as a cab driver; Moe gets a job in the power plant. Pixel Main Title by Paul Robertson Ivan Dixon Music Performed by Jeremy Dower Paul Robertson and Ivan Dixon (Jeremy not pictured with "excuse" that his wife is having a baby.) _________________________________________________________________ 2015-03-01 2615 #TABF08 The Princess Guide (short opening; Homer: Mmm... Paper jam...) Written by Brian Kelley Directed by Timothy Bailey Moe befriends a princess. IN LOVING MEMORY OF LEONARD NIMOY _________________________________________________________________ 2015-03-08 2616 #TABF09 Sky Police (no opening) Written by Matt Selman Directed by Rob Oliver Marge and her friends count cards at black jack. _________________________________________________________________ 2015-03-15 2617 #TABF10 Waiting for Duffman (short opening) Written by John Frink Directed by Steven Dean Moore Homer becomes the new Duffman; he takes the oath during the "Game of Thrones" theme (AGAIN?!?). SAM SIMON One of the greatest comic minds ever Thank you, Sam _________________________________________________________________ 2015-04-19 2618 #TABF11 Peeping Mom (short opening) Written by John Frink Directed by Mark Kirkland Marge constantly follows Bart; Ned gets a dog. Homer: Are there feelings going unexpressed here? Because if there are... Marge tries to choke Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2015-04-26 2619 #TABF12 The Kids are All Fight I WILL NOT PAY MY SISTER TO DO MY PUNISHMENT [Lisa writes] (Lisa plays a harp) Written by Rob Lazebnik Directed by Bob Anderson Marge tells an episode from Bart and Lisa's early childhood. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2015-05-03 2620 #TABF13 Let's Go Fly a Coot (short opening) Written by Jeff Westbrook Directed by Chris Clements Bart meets Milhouse's cousin and Grampa his friends, the pilots. _________________________________________________________________ 2015-05-10 2621 #TABF15 Bull-E (short opening) Written by Tim Long Directed by Lance Kramer Homer undergoes a therapy to make him not a bully. _________________________________________________________________ 2015-05-17 2622 #TABF16 Mathlete's Feat (short opening) Written by Michael Price Directed by Michael Polcino Rick and Morty Couch Gag Directed by Juan Meza-Leon Bart is the team captain in a math contest. Do not watch if you do not want to hear that chilling "Game of Thrones" theme. I WILL NOT FIGHT THE FUTURE [Bart writes] _________________________________________________________________ 2015-09-27 2701 #TABF14 Every Man's Dream (short opening) Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Matthew Nastuk Homer separates from Marge in his dream within Marge's dream. Itchy & Scratchy in Remember the Alimony _________________________________________________________________ 2015-10-04 2702 #TABF17 Cue Detective (no opening) Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Timothy Bailey Homer buys a barbecue grill and someone steals it. Homer: Mmm... Smoked meat... Homer licks his palm: Mmm... Smoked me... _________________________________________________________________ 2015-10-11 2703 #TABF19 Puffless (short opening) Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Rob Oliver Patty and Selma try to stop smoking; Homer uses bleach to blind himself temporarily; Maggie befriends animals. Maggie's Extraordinary Animal Adventure Chapter One A Friendship is Forged Chapter Two Gone Baby Gone Chapter Three Possum in Peril Chapter Four A Hero Returns Chapter Five Thus Cometh the Battle Epilogue Thus Endeth the Fellowship _________________________________________________________________ 2015-10-18 2704 #TABF22 Halloween of Horror (no opening) Written by Carolyn Omine Directed by Mike B. Anderson On Halloween, Lisa becomes scared, and the Simpsons' house is attacked by a trio of season workers. _________________________________________________________________ 2015-10-25 2705 #TABF18 Treehouse of Horror XXVI [there is no on-screen title] (special opening) Written by Joel Cohen's Credit 2: The Squeakquel Directed by Uneven Shteven Moore Couch Gag by John Kricfalusi Three-tale Halloween episode: Wanted: Dead Then Alive (Sideshow Bob kills Bart); Homerzilla (Homer-like Godzilla); Telepaths of Glory (Lisa and Milhouse become telepaths). _________________________________________________________________ 2015-11-08 2706 #TABF21 Friend with Benefit (short opening) Written by Rob Lazebnik Directed by Matthew Faughnan Lisa befriends a daughter of a multi-millionaire. _________________________________________________________________ 2015-11-22 2707 #TABF20 Lisa with an "S" (short opening) Written by Stephanie Gillis Directed by Bob Anderson Lisa tours with a veteran comedian. _________________________________________________________________ 2015-12-06 2708 #VABF01 Paths of Glory (short opening) Written by Michael Ferris Directed by Steven Dean Moore Homer and Marge think Bart is a sociopath; Lisa discovers a story of an inventoress who designed a computational loom. Bart chokes a toy: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2015-12-13 2709 #VABF02 Barthood (short opening) Written by Dan Greaney Directed by Rob Oliver Episode about the future of Bart's adolescence. _________________________________________________________________ 2016-01-03 2710 #VABF03 The Girl Code (no opening) Written by Rob Lazebnik Directed by Chris Clements Lisa writes a computer application that comes alive; Homer becomes a Greek. Homer: Early pizza... Mmm... Homer: Dirty, clean. Dirty, clean. _________________________________________________________________ 2016-01-10 2711 #VABF04 Teenage Mutant Milk-Caused Hurdles (short opening) Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Timothy Bailey Bart is in love with his new teacher; Bart and Lisa start to adolesce because of the milk Homer bought. Bart: A or B? A or B? A or B? A or B? _________________________________________________________________ 2016-01-17 2712 #VABF05 Much Apu About Something (no opening) Written by Michael Price Directed by Bob Anderson Wiggum demolishes Kwik-E-Mart; Bart promises Homer to stop performing pranks. _________________________________________________________________ 2016-02-14 2713 #VABF07 Love is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4 HERSHEY KISSES DO NOT DROP FROM CUPID'S BUTT (Lisa plays a harp) Written by John Frink Directed by Mark Kirkland Valentine episode: Frink changes his voice and appearance to have success with girls. _________________________________________________________________ 2016-02-21 2714 #VABF06 Gal of Constant Sorrow (short opening) Written by Carolyn Omine Directed by Matthew Nastuk Homer tries to get the cat from within the walls; Lisa befriends a homeless musician. Homer jumps on Bart: I'll paperweight you! _________________________________________________________________ 2016-03-06 2715 #VABF08 Lisa the Veterinarian (short opening) ROMANCE by Bill Plympton [couch gag title] Written by Dan Vebber Directed by Steven Dean Moore Lisa becomes a veterinarian intern. _________________________________________________________________ 2016-03-13 2716 #VABF09 The Marge-ian Chronicles (no opening) Written by Brian Kelley Directed by Chris Clements Marge and Lisa are about to fly to Mars. _________________________________________________________________ 2016-04-03 2717 #VABF10 The Burns Cage IF VILLANOVA DOESN'T WIN WE LOSE EVERYTHING (Lisa plays a horn) Written by Rob Lazebnik Directed by Rob Oliver Homer and others try to find a man for Smithers. _________________________________________________________________ 2016-04-10 2718 #VABF11 How Lisa Got Her Barge Back NEVER LOSE A BET TO BART SIMPSON [Skinner writes] Written by Jeff Martin Directed by Bob Anderson Lisa learns that Marge does not like her jazz. Homer chokes Bart-like Maggie: Why, you little... Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... Turning... A sweet little baby... Into a you! _________________________________________________________________ 2016-04-24 2719 #VABF12 Fland Canyon DAD SWEARS HE'LL GET HIS TAXES IN SOON Couch Gag by Eric Goldberg Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Michael Polcino Homer tells Maggie the story of the Simpsons and the Flanders being on a vacation in Grand Canyon. Homer whips Bart with a snake: Why, you little... Beneath: Wood in the wall of the Grand Canyon Motel _________________________________________________________________ 2016-05-08 2720 #VABF14 To Courier with Love DIRTY CLOTHES ARE NOT A MOTHER'S DAY GIFT Written by Bill Odenkirk Directed by Timothy Bailey The Simpsons go to Paris; Homer carries around an exotic snake. _________________________________________________________________ 2016-05-15 2721 #VABF13 Simprovised (no opening) Written by John Frink Directed by Matthew Nastuk Homer becomes an improvising stand-up comedian. _________________________________________________________________ 2016-05-22 2722 #VABF15 Orange is the New Yellow Season Finale MILHOUSE DOES NOT LIVE BELOW THE PUBERTY LINE (Lisa plays a teremin) Written by Eric Horsted Directed by Matthew Faughnan Marge is sent to prison, and she likes it there. _________________________________________________________________ 2016-09-25 2801 #VABF20 Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus THIS ARM NEEDS TOMMY JOHN SURGERY (Lisa plays a harp) Written by Tom Gammill & Max Pross Directed by Matthew Nastuk Burns tries to re-create a theatre play from his childhood. _________________________________________________________________ 2016-10-02 2802 #VABF18 Friends and Family I WILL STOP LOSING 50% OF MY NFL LEAD-IN Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Lance Kramer The Simpsons act as Burns' virtual family, and Homer befriends a woman. _________________________________________________________________ 2016-10-09 2803 #VABF17 The Town (no opening) Written by Dave King Directed by Rob Oliver The Simpsons move to Boston. Beneath: wood within the wall in the Simpsons' house _________________________________________________________________ 2016-10-16 2804 #VABF16 Treehouse of Horror XXVII [600th episode] (special opening) Planet of the Couches If You Don't Have VR Glasses, You Miss Nothing! Written by Jowl H. Corpulent Directed by Steven Mean Mooredor Three-tale Halloween episode: Dry Hard (Lisa participates in a deadly survival game); BFF R.I.P. (Lisa has an imaginary homicidal friend); Moefinger (Bart becomer a secret agent). _________________________________________________________________ 2016-10-23 2805 #VABF21 Trust but Clarify THE FIRST EPISODE OF THE SECOND 600 Written by Harry Shearer Directed by Michael Polcino Brockman is fired; Homer tries a new suit. Itchy & Scratchy _________________________________________________________________ 2016-11-06 2806 #VABF22 There Will Be Buds (no opening) Written by Matt Selman Directed by Matthew Faughnan Kirk and Homer coach a lacrosse team. IN LOVING MEMORY OF KEVIN CURRAN _________________________________________________________________ 2016-11-13 2807 #VABF19 Havana Wild Weekend BEING RIGHT SUCKS Written by Deb Lacusta & Dan Castellaneta & Peter Tilden Directed by Bob Anderson The Simpsons go to Cuba. Homer: Mmm... History... Beneath: Pipes under Homer's room _________________________________________________________________ 2016-11-20 2808 #WABF01 Dad Behavior I WILL WATCH ALL 600 EPISODES WITHOUT SLEEPING (modified opening with accidents) Written by Ryan Koh Directed by Steven Dean Moore Homer befriends Milhouse, and Bart befriends Kirk. WE'LL MISS YOU VIN SCULLY _________________________________________________________________ 2016-12-04 2809 #WABF03 The Last Traction Hero (short opening) Written by Bill Odenkirk Directed by Bob Anderson Homer injures himself after he falls through Burns' trap door; Bart puts a nasty tarantula (spider) behind Homer's neck. Homer tries to reach Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2016-12-11 2810 #WABF02 The Nightmare After Krustmas (snowy short opening) Written by Jeff Westbrook Directed by Rob Oliver Christmas episode: Krusty converts to Christianity; Maggie is haunted by a toy. Itchy & Scratchy in The Bashin' of the Christ _________________________________________________________________ 2017-01-08 2811 #WABF06 Pork and Burns GOODBYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE 2016 [flying banner] (short opening) Written by Rob Lazebnik Directed by Matthew Nastuk Homer makes Spider-Pig his therapeutic pet; Homer throws a snake into a bouncing castle. _________________________________________________________________ 2017-01-15 S 2812 #WABF04 & #WABF05 The Great Phatsby (no opening) Part One Written by Dan Greaney Part Two Written by Dan Greaney & Matt Selman Part One Directed by Chris Clements Part Two Directed by Timothy Bailey Burns is ruined by a man whom he inspired; Homer and Bart try to help Burns get revenge on the traitor. _________________________________________________________________ 2017-02-12 2814 #WABF07 Fatzcarraldo HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! [tagline] IF WE'RE SO GOOD AT PREDICTING HOW COME MY DAD BET ON ATLANTA Written by Michael Price Directed by Mark Kirkland Homer steals a hot-dog wagon. _________________________________________________________________ 2017-02-19 2815 #WABF08 The Cat and the Hat (short opening) Written by Ron Zimmerman Directed by Steven Dean Moore Bart throws away Lisa's hat; Homer reveals he used to play chess with Grampa. Homer: Mmm... Nerd-burger... Itchy & Scratchy in The Garfield Assassination _________________________________________________________________ 2017-03-05 2816 #WABF09 Kamp Krustier WE'RE THE ONLY HOUSE WHERE THE CHRISTMAS TREE IS STILL UP Written by David M. Stern Directed by Rob Oliver Bart and Lisa are traumatized from their holiday at Kamp Krusty. Itchy & Scratchy in Dancing with the Scars _________________________________________________________________ 2017-03-12 2817 #WABF10 22 for 30 (short opening) Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Chris Clements A documentary-like something about Bart and basketball and Fat Tony... Totally stupid waste of time except for he who writes this page. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... I'll teach you to win the game! _________________________________________________________________ 2017-03-19 2818 #WABF11 A Father's Watch STUDYING IS NOT "APPROPRIATING NERD CULTURE" Written by Simon Rich Directed by Bob Anderson Grampa gives Bart an old timepiece. Beneath: AC unit over Bart's lab Grampa's grandfather chokes Grampa's father who chokes Grampa. EVERYBODY'S A WINNER [Lisa writes] I DID NOTHING WRONG THIS WEEK [Bart writes] Grampa chokes Bart. _________________________________________________________________ 2017-04-02 2819 #WABF12 Caper Chase (short opening) Written by Jeff Westbrook Directed by Lance Kramer Burns starts his own college; Homer teaches as a professor. _________________________________________________________________ 2017-04-30 2820 #WABF13 Looking for Mr. Goodbart 30 YEARS AGO... [tagline followed by a bit from "Good Night"] (special opening) Written by Carolyn Omine Directed by Michael Polcino Bart plays a grandson for various women. I JUST WROTE ONE AND I'M ALREADY TIRED [Grampa writes] Itchy & Scratchy in Cat-sup _________________________________________________________________ 2017-05-07 2821 #WABF14 Moho House (short opening) Written by Jeff Martin Directed by Matthew Nastuk Burns' friend bets with him that he can split Homer and Marge. Homer: Mmm... Pork chop... _________________________________________________________________ 2017-05-21 2822 #WABF15 Dogtown (modified opening) THANK YOU FOR 28 GREAT YEARS... TAYLOR SWIFT Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Steven Dean Moore The dogs get loose in Springfield. Homer to Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2017-10-01 2901 #WABF17 The Serfsons (special opening) Written by Brian Kelley Directed by Rob Oliver The Simpsons in the feudal era. Bart pigeon-posts Moe asking for Milady Gwendolyn Partz _________________________________________________________________ 2017-10-08 2902 #WABF22 Springfield Splendor (no opening) Written by Tim Long & Miranda Thompson Directed by Matthew Faughnan Marge makes drawings about sad Lisa. _________________________________________________________________ 2017-10-15 2903 #WABF16 Whistler's Father IT'S UNFAIR TO JUDGE A PRESIDENT ON HIS FIRST 300 DAYS Written by Tom Gamill & Max Pross Directed by Matthew Faughnan Homer discovers that Maggie can whistle, and Marge decorates a house for Fat Tony. Itchy & Scratchy glimpse Beneath: A mouse, Snowball II and a hand under Maggie's room _________________________________________________________________ 2017-10-22 2904 #WABF18 The Simpsons Easter Special Treehouse of Horror XXVIII (special opening) The Sweets Hereafter Written by Fhrek Directed by Bubble Headed Bailey Three-tale Halloween episode: The Exor-sis (Maggie becomes posessed by Pazuzu); Coralisa (Lisa enters a 3-D world); Mmm... Homer (Homer starts to eat himself). Homer: Mmm... Candy... 3-D Homer chokes 3-D Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2017-11-05 2905 #WABF19 Grampy Can Ya Hear Me (Proto-Homer chokes Proto-Bart in the clouds) HOOLIGAN IS NOT A PROFESSION (Lisa plays a harp) (Wood in the wall of the Simpsons' flat) Written by Bill Odenkirk Directed by Bob Anderon Grampa gets a hearing aid; Skinner, whom Bart puts a snake into the mailbox to, lives in the school's basement. I WILL NOT [Bart writes] _________________________________________________________________ 2017-11-12 2906 #WABF20 The Old Blue Mayor She Ain't What She Used to Be THIS YEAR A TURKEY WILL PARDON THE PRESIDENT [flying banner] I WILL NOT ASK MY GUIDANCE COUNSELOR WHY HE COULDN'T GET A BETTER JOB (Lisa plays a horn) Written by Tom Gamill & Max Pross Directed by Matthew Nastuk Marge becomes the Mayor of Springfield. Homer throws a flag at Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2017-11-19 2907 #WABF21 Singin' in the Lane ("The Shrimpsons" opening) WE DO NOT LIVE IN OUR OWN PEE Written by Ryan Koh Directed by Michael Polcino Homer resurrects the bowling team with Moe as the coach. _________________________________________________________________ 2017-12-03 2908 #XABF01 Mr. Lisa's Opus (short opening) Written by Al Jean Directed by Steven Dean Moore Episode about the future: Lisa and her birthdays. Homer to Bart: Why, you little... Homer chokes Bart: Why, you disappointing... Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... Not voting... Fascist-enabling... Bart chokes Homer. _________________________________________________________________ 2017-12-10 2909 #XABF02 Gone Boy (snowy opening) SNOW ANGELS ARE NOT FROZEN HOBOS Written by John Frink Directed by Rob Oliver Bart falls down into an underground missile silo; Sideshow Bob tries to find and maybe kill him. Bart phones Moe asking for Tess T. Culls _________________________________________________________________ 2018-01-07 2910 #XABF03 Haw-Haw Land (no opening) Written by Tim Long & Miranda Thompson Directed by Bob Anderson Nelson and a new student fight for Lisa; Bart likes chemistry. Homer: (menacingly) Why, that little... _________________________________________________________________ 2018-01-14 2911 #XABF04 Frink Gets Testy STRANGLING IS NOT AN EFFECTIVE PARENTING TOOL [Homer writes] Written by Dan Vebber Directed by Chris Clements Homer has the lowest score in Frink's intelligence test. _________________________________________________________________ 2018-03-18 2912 #XABF05 Homer is Where the Art Isn't (no opening) Written by Kevin Curran Directed by Timothy Bailey Homer is one of the suspects who may have stolen a valuable painting. _________________________________________________________________ 2018-03-25 2913 #XABF06 3 Scenes Plus a Tag from a Marriage (short opening) Written by Tom Gamill & Max Pross Directed by Matthew Nastuk Marge and Homer tell stories about their marriage, Bart and Lisa. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2018-04-01 2914 #XABF08 Fears of a Clown THIS IS THE LAST EPISODE [one side of the blackboard] APRIL FOOL [the other side of the blackboard] Written by Michael Price Directed by Steven Dean Moore Bart is pranked on April Fool's Day by Skinner; Krusty stars in a stage play. Homer after Bart: Why, you little... Lovejoy to Bart: Why, you son of a... Willie to Bart: I'll show you who su... _________________________________________________________________ 2018-04-08 2915 #XABF07 No Good Read Goes Unpunished PEACE ON EARTH [flying banner] APRIL SHOWERS DID NOT DATE THE PRESIDENT Written by Jeff Westbrook Directed by Mark Kirkland Bart uses "The Art of War" book against Homer. Itchy & Scratchy Episode # 10,432 Leave It To Cleaver _________________________________________________________________ 2018-04-15 2916 #XABF10 King Leer (no opening) Written by Daniel Furlong & Zach Posner Directed by Chris Clements Moe meets with his family of mattress sellers. Moe's father phones Moe. Homer chokes himself. _________________________________________________________________ 2018-04-22 2917 #XABF11 Lisa Gets the Blues 30 YEARS AGO... [tagline followed by a bit from "The Aquarium"] (modified opening) The Flintstones The Simpstones The Simpsons I WILL NOT BET WITH BART ON THE FINAL FOUR [Homer writes] Written by David Silverman & Brian Kelley Directed by Bob Anderson The Simpsons go to New Orleans. _________________________________________________________________ 2018-04-29 2918 #XABF09 Forgive and Regret (modified opening) Written by Bill Odenkirk Directed by Rob Oliver Grampa confesses he threw away recipes Homer got from his mother. _________________________________________________________________ 2018-05-06 2919 #XABF12 Left Behind (short opening) Teleplay by Joel H. Cohen & John Frink Story by Al Jean Directed by Lance Kramer Ned loses his business and briefly works in the power plant. _________________________________________________________________ 2018-05-13 2920 #XABF13 Throw Grampa from the Dane (short opening) (Homer in couch gag: Mmm... Jam...) Written by Rob Lazebnik Directed by Michael Polcino The Simpsons go to Denmark. _________________________________________________________________ 2018-05-20 2921 #XABF14 Flanders' Ladder (short opening) Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Matthew Nastuk Bart falls into a coma after being struck by a lightning, and he dreams he can see dead people. Waylon Smithers dead at 50; Homer Simpson dead at 59; Clancy Wiggum dead at 62; Marge Simpson dead at 84; Seymour Skinner dead at 119; Bartholomew Simpson dead at 80; Lisa Marie Simpson dead at 98; Ralph Wiggum dead at 120; Maggie Simpson never died. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... Life-saving, heaven can waiting... IN LOVING MEMORY OF TOM WOLFE _________________________________________________________________ 2018-09-30 3001 #XABF19 Bart's Not Dead The Simp30ns Years (special opening) Written by Stephanie Gillis Directed by Bob Anderson Homer makes a movie about Bart (lying) being in Heaven. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... _________________________________________________________________ 2018-10-07 3002 #XABF15 Heartbreak Hotel (no opening) Written by Renee Ridgeley & Matt Selman Directed by Steven Dean Moore Homer and Marge participate in a reality show The Amazing Place. _________________________________________________________________ 2018-10-14 3003 #XABF17 My Way or the Highway to Heaven (special opening) Written by Deb Lacusta & Dan Castellaneta & Vince Waldron Directed by Rob Oliver Three-tale episode on religion: Ned (Christian), Marge (Atheist) and Lisa (Buddhist). Bart phones Meaux asking for Pierre Pants (Pee Your Pants) _________________________________________________________________ 2018-10-21 3004 #XABF16 Treehouse of Horror XXIX (special opening) Written by Jor-El H. Krypton Directed by The Ancient Unnamable Matthew Faughnan Three-tale Halloween episode: Intrusion of the Pod-y Switchers (people are attacked by plants); Multiplisa-ty (Lisa keeps Bart, Milhouse and Nelson prisoners); Geriatric Park (Burns creates a jurassic park). _________________________________________________________________ 2018-11-04 3005 #XABF18 Baby You Can't Drive My Car (short opening) Written by Rob Lazebnik Directed by Timothy Bailey Homer works as a tester for autonomous car. Homer: Mmm... Chicken nuggets... _________________________________________________________________ 2018-11-11 3006 #XABF20 From Russia Without Love (short opening) Written by Michael Ferris Directed by Matthew Nastuk Bart buys a Russian wife for Moe. Bart phones Moe asking for Ima Buttface I WILL NOT ORDER PREGNANT RATS [Bart writes on driveway] _________________________________________________________________ 2018-11-18 3007 #XABF21 Werking Mom (no opening) Written by Carolyn Omine & Robin Sayers Directed by Michael Polcino People think Marge is an oversewn man. Beneath: an alien with an Oscar statue under Lisa's room _________________________________________________________________ 2018-11-25 3008 #XABF22 Krusty the Clown (no opening) Written by Ryan Koh Directed by Matthew Faughnan Krusty works in a circus; Homer works as a re-capper. Itchy & Scratchy in Death Shawarma-ed Over Krusty chokes Homer. _________________________________________________________________ 2018-12-02 3009 #YABF01 Daddicus Finch MY PRE-CHRISTMAS BEHAVIOR REALLY HELPS THE COAL INDUSTRY Written by Al Jean Directed by Steven Dean Moore Bart is envious that Lisa and Homer are best friends. Itchy & Scratchy _________________________________________________________________ 2018-12-09 3010 #YABF02 'Tis the 30th Season (snowy opening) THE FAT MAN WHO WORKS ONE NIGHT A YEAR IS MY DAD Teleplay by Joel H. Cohen & John Frink Story by Jeff Westbrook Directed by Lance Kramer Christmas episode: The Simpsons go to Florida. _________________________________________________________________ 2019-01-06 3011 #YABF03 Mad About the Toy MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION WAS TO QUIT SCHOOL Written by Michael Price Directed by Rob Oliver The Simpsons go to Texas to look for Grampa's friend. Homer after Bart: Boy, I'll kill you! Homer: Mmm... Leather... Homer chokes Bart: Why, you little... Homer chokes Grampa: Why, you thoughtful... _________________________________________________________________ 2019-01-13 3012 #YABF04 The Girl on the Bus (short opening) Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Chris Clements Lisa finds a new friend and lies to her family about her family. Homer: Mmm... Salty... Ned: Mmm... Deception... _________________________________________________________________ 2019-02-10 3013 #YABF06 I'm Dancing as Fat as I Can (short opening) Written by Jane Becker Directed by Matthew Nastuk Valentine episode: Homer takes dance lessons to surprise Marge. _________________________________________________________________ 2019-02-17 3014 #YABF05 The Clown Stays in the Picture (no opening) Written by Matt Selman Directed by Timothy Bailey Krusty tells the story of how he was making a feature film with Homer and Marge among the members of the crew. Homer chokes cactus-Bart: Why, you prickly... IN LOVING MEMORY SIMPSONS PRODUCTION MANAGER TRISTA NAVARRO _________________________________________________________________ 2019-03-03 3015 #YABF07 101 Mitigations CHILI FRIES DO NOT GO IN LIKE A LAMB AND OUT LIKE A LION Teleplay by Brian Kelley & Dan Vebber Story by Rob Lazebnik Directed by Mark Kirkland Comic Book Guy sues Homer for damaging his car and a comic book. _________________________________________________________________ 2019-03-10 3016 #YABF08 I Want You (She's So Heavy) MARGE SKINNER -------+ +------- | | +------+ KRUSTY RALPH +------+ KRUSTY | | | | RALPH -------+ | | +------- | | +-------+ KRUSTY HOOVER +-------+ HOMER | | | | WIGGUM -------+ | | | | +------- | | | | | | +------+ SLH | |HOOVER +------+ SLH | | | | HOOVER -------+ | K R U S T Y | +------- | | +-- KRUSTY APU --+ HIBBERT | | APU -------+ | | +------- | | | | +------+HIBBERT| | APU +------+ LISA | | | | | | LENNY -------+ | | | | +------- | | | | +-------+ MAGGIE APU +-------+ FLANDERS | | CARL -------+ | | +------- | | | | +------+ MAGGIE CARL +------+ MAGGIE | | MOE -------+ +------- Written by Jeff Westbrook Directed by Steven Dean Moore Marge kitesurfs. Homer tries to reach Bart: Why, you little... IN LOVING MEMORY OF LUKE PERRY _________________________________________________________________ 2019-03-17 3017 #YABF09 E My Sports (no opening) Written by Rob Lazebnik Directed by Rob Oliver Homer is the coach of his team of video game players. _________________________________________________________________ 2019-03-24 3018 #YABF10 Bart vs. Itchy & Scratchy (no opening) Written by Megan Amram Directed by Chris Clements Bart joins girl's gang. Itchy & Scratchy in Pitchfork Perfect Beneath: Nothing under Lisa's room _________________________________________________________________ 2019-03-31 3019 #YABF11 Girl's in the Band I AM NOT A GRANDMOTHER Written by Nancy Cartwright Directed by Jennifer Moeller Lisa attends an elite musical school. _________________________________________________________________ 2019-04-07 3020 #YABF12 I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say D'oh I WILL NOT WRITE "AUDIT PLEASE" ON HOMER'S TAX RETURN Written by Jeff Martin & Jenna Martin Directed by Michael Polcino Marge directs a stage play with Frink as Jebediah Springfield. End Title Music Video "White Wine Spritzer" by Okilly Dokilly _________________________________________________________________ 2019-04-28 3021 #YABF14 D'oh Canada HAW HAW! [one side of the blackboard] [Nelson strapped to the other side of the blackboard] (Lisa plays a harp) Written by Tim Long & Miranda Thompson Directed by Matthew Nastuk Lisa gets a political asylum in Canada. Homer: Mmm... Restaurant chains I never heard of... _________________________________________________________________ 2019-05-05 3022 #YABF15 Woo-Hoo Dunnit? (no opening) Written by Brian Kelley Directed by Steven Dean Moore Partially documentary, then not episode about who robbed Lisa of her college funds (Marge). Once again, a stupid waste of time. _________________________________________________________________ 2019-05-12 3023 #YABF16 Crystal Blue-Haired Persuasion (short opening) Written by Megan Amram Directed by Matthew Faughnan Marge sells crystals. I WILL NOT SHIRK MY RESPONSIBILITIES [Marge finishes after Bart] _________________________________________________________________ 2019-09-29 3101 #YABF19 The Winter of Our Monetized Content (short opening) Written by Ryan Koh Directed by Bob Anderson Videos with Homer and Bart get viral. Homer chokes Bart: Why, you hilarious... Homer: Mmm... Salmon-ella... Homer to Bart: Why, you little... IN LOVING MEMORY OF MIKE MENDEL _________________________________________________________________ 2019-10-06 3102 #YABF21 Go Big or Go Homer (no opening) Written by John Frink Directed by Matthew Faughnan Homer mentors his admirer at the power plant. _________________________________________________________________ 2019-10-13 3103 #YABF22 The Fat Blue Line (special opening) Written by Bill Odenkirk Directed by Michael Polcino Fat Tony is framed for pick-pocketing. Homer: Mmm... Garbage... _________________________________________________________________ 2019-10-20 3104 #YABF18 Treehouse of Horror XXX [666th episode] (special opening "The Omen"; decorated TV) episode 666 or 667 if fox changes the schedule Written by J. Stewart's Urn Directed by Grimothy Bailey Three-tale Halloween episode: Danger -Things- (Lisa enters a parallel dimension); Heaven Swipes Right (Homer's ghost occupies various bodies); When Hairy Met Slimy (Selma befriends Kang). _________________________________________________________________ 2019-11-03 3105 #YABF20 Gorillas on the Mast (short opening) Written by Max Cohn Directed by Matthew Nastuk Homer buys a boat; Bart becomes an altruist. A gorilla chokes a teddybear. _________________________________________________________________ 2019-11-10 3106 #ZABF02 Marge the Lumberjill DAYLIGHT SAVINGS ISN'T SOMETHING I CAN SPEND Written by Ryan Koh Directed by Rob Oliver Marge becomes a lumberjack. _________________________________________________________________ 2019-11-17 3107 #ZABF03 Livin La Pura Vida (no opening) Written by Brian Kelley Directed by Timothy Bailey Van Houtens invite the Simpsons and other families to a vacation in Costa Rica. _________________________________________________________________ 2019-11-24 3108 #YABF17 Thanksgiving of Horror (special opening) Written by Dan Novebber Directed by Corn of the Rob Oliver Three-tale Thanksgiving episode: A-Gobble-Ypto (the Simpsons as turkeys); The Fourth Thursday After Tomorrow (Marge's mind is duplicated into a kitchen robot); The Last Thanksgiving (Bart creates a jelly monster that sucks up skeletons). Turkey-Homer after Turkey-Bart: [Why, you little...] Homer: Mmm... Children's bones... _________________________________________________________________ 2019-12-01 3109 #ZABF04 Todd, Todd, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me? (special Flanders opening) THE FLANDERSESESESES NOW OWNED BY DISNEY [tagline] IDLE HANDS ARE THE DEVIL'S TOOL [Todd writes] Created by God Developed by God and Bernie Meyerowitz Written by Tim Long & Miranda Thompson Directed by Chris Clements Todd loses his faith. _________________________________________________________________ 2019-12-15 3110 #ZABF01 Bobby, It's Cold Outside (short opening, decorated TV) Written by John Frink & Jeff Westbrook Directed by Steven Dean Moore Christmas episode: Sideshow Bob works as a Santa Claus; Smithers and Burns steal Christmas presents. _________________________________________________________________ 2020-01-05 3111 #ZABF05 Hail to the Teeth TEACHER SPENT NEW YEAR'S EVE AT HOME BY CHOICE Written by Elisabeth Kiernan Averick Directed by Mark Kirkland Lisa becomes popular with her artificial smile; Artie creates several robotic Marges including a spider-like Marge. _________________________________________________________________ 2020-02-16 3112 #ZABF06 The Miseducation of Lisa Simpson (no opening) Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Matthew Nastuk Springfield robs the Sea Captain of his treasure and builds a STEM academy. _________________________________________________________________ 2020-02-23 3113 #ZABF07 Frinkcoin (short opening) Written by Rob Lazebnik Directed by Steven Dean Moore Frink develops his own crypto-currency, but he is not happy as a rich man. _________________________________________________________________ Playdate with Destiny 2020-02-29 O Maggie Simpson in "Playdate with Destiny" [does not count as a Simpsons episode] Directed by David Silverman Written by James L. Brooks Tom Gamill & Maxx Pross Matt Groening Al Jean Michael Price Matt Selman David Silverman Maggie falls in love in "Not Responsible for Injuries Park". _________________________________________________________________ 2020-03-01 3114 #ZABF08 Bart the Bad Guy (no opening) Written by Dan Vebber Directed by Jennifer Moeller Bart the Spoiler Boy threatens to reveal the ending of an upcoming superhero movie. _________________________________________________________________ 2020-03-08 3115 #ZABF09 Screenless (short opening) Written by J. Stewart Burns Directed by Michael Polcino The Simpsons try to reduce the time they spend with smart phones. Homer threatens Bart: (gibberish) _________________________________________________________________ 2020-03-15 3116 #ZABF11 Better off Ned BART IS AT A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT [Lisa writes] Teleplay by Joel H. Cohen & Jeff Westbrook Story by Al Jean Directed by Rob Oliver Ned befriends Bart, and Homer befriends Nelson. IN LOVING MEMORY OF MAX von SYDOW _________________________________________________________________ 2020-03-22 3117 #ZABF10 Highway to Well (no opening) Written by Carolyn Omine Directed by Chris Clements Marge sells marijuana in a store. _________________________________________________________________ 2020-04-19 3118 #YABF13 The Incredible Lightness of Being a Baby SCHOOL ONLINE [Written on the blackboard] I MUST NOT WRITE ON MOUNTAIN [Bart surfs in couch gag] Written by Tom Gamill & Max Pross Directed by Bob Anderson Maggie falls in love with another kid; Burns forces Homer to make Cletus give up his helium mine. _________________________________________________________________ 2020-04-26 3119 #ZABF12 Warrin' Priests (Part One) HOW DID THE BOY GET ME TO DO THIS? [Homer writes] Written by Pete Holmes Directed by Bob Anderson There is a new preacher in town more popular than Lovejoy. To be continued... _________________________________________________________________ 2020-05-03 3120 #ZABF13 Warrin' Priests (Part Two) I WILL STOP REMINDING THE PRINCIPAL I HAVE A LATER BEDTIME THAN HE DOES (Lisa plays a harp) Written by Pete Holmes Directed by Matthew Nastuk Lovejoy finds out that the new preacher burnt a bible in his youth. _________________________________________________________________ 2020-05-10 3121 #ZABF14 The Hateful Eight-Year-Olds (no opening) Written by Joel H. Cohen Directed by Jennifer Moeller Lisa is invited to a birthday party of a friend who humiliates her in front of the others. Homer: Mmm... New friend smell... _________________________________________________________________ 2020-05-17 3122 #ZABF16 The Way of the Dog (no opening) Written by Carolyn Omine Directed by Matthew Faughnan Santa's Little Helper reunites with his mother. In Loving Memory of Little Richard _________________________________________________________________ 2020-09-27 3201 #ZABF19 Undercover Burns (short opening) Written by David Cryan Directed by Bob Anderson Burns, in a robotic disguise, works undercover in his power plant. Homer tries to choke "Fred": Why, you incredibly complex... _________________________________________________________________ 2020-10-04 3202 #ZABF18 I, Carambus (no opening) Written by Cesar Mazariegos Directed by Rob Oliver A museum curator tells Homer and Marge story about Obeseus the Wide (Homer). Obeseus (Homer) chokes Bartigula (Bart): Why, you little... ^(")^
